It’s tough to be specific about keeper leagues when writing about them. There are so many unique keeper leagues out there. It seems like every keeper question that I answer in the comment section has a different format than another one. I think that the best way to write about keeper prospects is to make it round specific and leave it up to you to analyze it’s usefulness to you. I don’t see myself covering the obvious players. For one, I don’t want to look stupid or basic and also it’s more useful to cover fringe keepers. 

I know that I was in the middle of positional reviews, but I got to thinking about the interesting 2019 season that the Seahawks had at the receiver position. D.K. Metcalf and Tyler Lockett both had over 100 targets a piece in 2019. This is sort of surprising coming from a team that has an efficient passing attack, but one that lacks in volume. One receiver started his season red hot and petered out towards the end of the year and the other was more statistically balanced. The addition of D.K. Metcalf seemed to directly help lead to Russell Wilson’s first 4,000 yard passing season in three years. It wouldn’t be at all surprising if this becomes a trend for Wilson in the coming seasons with the emerging talent that the Seahawks have at the receiver position. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

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Last week I went over the top 25 for 2020 dynasty football. I’m still reeling from the harassment my Kerryon Johnson ranking provoked, yet the show must go on. But first, to answer a few questions from the audience regarding my top 25: Yes, I am an idiot; No, Joe Mixon did not kick my puppy; Yes, Kerryon Johnson is my cousin; And no, I’m not involved in a sexual relationship with my cousin, Kerryon Johnson. Anyway, today I’ll take a break from the intensive Peyronie’s Disease treatment I’m now receiving and go over the top 50 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Antonio Brown lit up his former team the Oakland Raiders this week, going off for 5 catches for 153 yards and 2 touchdowns as he fully delivered on his 2nd round fantasy-draft-price-tag. And just when his owners needed him most. He also chipped in 1 carry for 13 yards and he didn’t even fart in anyone’s face in the locker room after the win. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like the AB I know. *checks notes* Ahhhh this was A.J. Brown, not Antonio Brown! My bad, honest mistake. The Titans 2nd round rookie out of Mississippi, A.J. Brown, now has 6 touchdowns and three 100+ yard games on the season. Can I just draft the entire 2019 rookie receiver class on all of my teams next year? Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday afternoons’ games for fantasy football: 

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As we march towards Week 14 and the start of the fantasy playoffs, this week will be a crucial one for many owners. With 6 NFL teams on bye, there are a bunch of stars that we need to find replacements for. We’ll be giving some extra attention to some players that wouldn’t normally ever sniff our starting lineups.

Let’s get to the rest of this week’s matchups, and talk about some players we should start, and those we should keep on our bench.

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After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

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It’s a well known fact: Ezekiel Elliott has an insatiable appetite. The star running back has been begging anyone and everyone to feed him since all the way back to Pop Warner, but the hunger has never subsided. This past September the Cowboys finally broke down and gave Zeke a little grocery money of his own. But the Dallas RB hasn’t been able to locate the Whole Foods Market in his neighborhood and continues to ask for handouts. Fortunately, his best bud Dak Prescott (21/27 for 239 yards, 5 carries for 30 yards and 2 touchdowns) continues to be charitable, feeding Zeke the pigskin 22 times for 111 yards plus another 6 thru the air for 36 more yards and his 6th touchdown as the Cowboys trounced the Eagles on Sunday night. Watch those fingers Dak! Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football: 

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B_Don escapes from Vegas rehab to bring you a fantasy football profile show with Donkey Teeth. This week the guys take a look at Geronimo Allison and Marquez Valdes-Scantling in the wake of Davante Adams turf toe issues.

Tune in to find out whether either or both of these young ball grabbers are startable while Adams is out and beyond. And then everyone’s favorite segment from last year, assh*le of the week, makes its triumphant return.

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It’s no secret, Donkey likes em young. There’s just something about the trusting innocence in those big soft rookie eyes which can’t be matched by an old weathered veteran. And fantasy sports are all about having fun; what’s more fun than drafting the youngster your buddies have never heard of and watching the kid grow into a superstar on your fantasy team as your closest friend cries their self to sleep while clutching the last place penis trophy?

Please, blog, may I have some more?