In some bizarro world, the Chicago Bears have almost $100M ($98.8M, to be exact) to spend in free agency. With two teams $50M+ over the cap (Saints, Bucs), somehow, the NFC bottom dwellers have found themselves with a boatload of cash to throw around. Outside of Justin Fields and David Montgomery, to a lesser extent, […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There comes a moment in everyone’s life when they sigh deeply and think to themselves, Man, I’m sure not good at football, but I wouldn’t have thrown that pass directly into a defensive lineman’s forehead. For a lot of us, that moment came to fruition last night. With an open Cole Kmet in the front of the end zone, Justin Fields rifled a throw right into the dome of Efe Obada, causing the ball to skyrocket into the air and come down into the hands of Jonathan Allen for an interception. That proved to be Fields’ lone turnover of the night, but that miscue coupled with Velus Jones’ muffed punt in the fourth quarter was ultimately Chicago’s downfall. And once again, we find ourselves wondering if the NFL’s Thursday Night Football could possibly get any harder to watch, and I find myself debating what I did to Donkey Teeth to deserve being stuck with writing about this travesty week after week. But complaining is for the weak, so onward we trudge into the abysmal abyss!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*Buy, Sell, Hold video was released by Anime Donkey prior to week 11*

The goal of this article is to find WRs to fade and buy based on how many fantasy points their opponent allows in the slot vs. out wide. In today’s article we will review the key slot matchups for week 12. To keep up with the latest trends we updated the analysis to only include the last 5 weeks.

The below chart breaks down where each team allows their fantasy points to WRs and is listed from the most to the least amount of fantasy points allowed to the slot over the past 5 weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As Axl Rose once said:

And when your fears subside

And shadows still remain, oh yeah

I know that you can love me when there’s no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way

‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain

We’re in the darkness right now as a football community. Confusion, injuries, controversy, and most strikingly, tragedy. We’re surrounded by it right now and this is already generally a tough spot in “normal” football seasons but it seems obvious this is anything but normal. This has been a real tough one with some big highs and some of the lowest lows in a long time. 

And it’s my job to help guide you, as a fantasy football player, through these lows to succeed at this game we all love. Is the senseless death of a young woman something I want to cover in what should be an entertaining run-over of your roster options for Sunday football? No, of course not but the dice have unfortunately been cast and this is how they’ve fallen and I’d be remiss to ignore the 2000 lb elephant in the room. I’m going to go from here on without some of the sentimentality and just talk football because frankly, as callous as it sounds, that’s what you’re here for and that’s what I get paid patented Razzball Fun Bucks™ (Redeemable at participating Razzball locations) to do. And who really wants to hear me pondering on these deep ethical and moral questions this week have brought about? I spent most of last week’s article talking about the Monster Mash for crying out loud. 

With that being said, let’s jump into it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here in the midwest, the first frosty mornings are now in the books. It is an ominous sign for midwesterners (like myself) that winter is right around the corner. Work needs to be done. Much like that fantasy league you are in. There is still time to turn things around in head-to-head games, but you will have to work at it. Always remember, you do not need a record better than the top team in your league, you merely need to sneak into those playoffs and push from there, so focus on the record of the team in 4th place. Everyone could use some weapons upgrades for the cold battles that lie ahead.

It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had my first board meeting with the Razzball executives this past week and was it a doozy. If you’re wondering what a meeting with Razzball looks like, it is all very secretive and mysterious. None of our identities are known and we all wear large teddy bear suits. We often get accused of copying the 1998 motion picture The Avengers (no not the Marvel one), but they told me we did it first. At the meeting we addressed how we should refer to the free agent acquisition budget (FAAB) percentages going forth. After two darts in the neck to teddy bears I can only assume were Skorish and JB Barry (neither returned my calls over the weekend), we decided going forth the percentages will still reflect original budget. We would like to thank all who contributed and Reddit for sending their weird bear with the crazy smile. Apparently, he had to pay extra tokens for it and we know this because he just would not shut up about it! Alas, your waivers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week seven will likely be a wild one. Bye weeks begin in earnest, and of course, you have the pile of injuries that continues to stack up. It will be a “last man standing” situation this week. And you want to be Bruce Willis, not Tim Allen. By the way, what pretentious title for the sitcom “Last Man Standing”. It is no wonder that the show was canceled. I know the rest of us are just a bunch of vegan, chai-sipping wussies staring at our phones, but do you think you could outlast all of us? C’mon Tim, Tool Time is over. Don’t embarrass the good folks at Binder. And with that, now on to the list.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I see you there with your lone win, maybe two, and you are starting to worry. This is not at all how you thought the season was going to go when you were drafting back in August. The real fear is starting to sink in of completely missing the playoffs and having to play for your league’s last place trophy, which is probably some horrid garden ornament you must display in your home every day through the following season. I am here to tell you, there options and you guessed it, we are looking towards the silver screen for inspiration. When John Cassavetes’ acting career was in trouble in Rosemary’s Baby he reached out to his neighbors for help, but now he must help raise that baby and apparently something is wrong with his eyes. You could always see your local Godfather for some trade assistance and a deal no one could refuse, but horseheads are in short supply these days. Then again, it is probably better to buckle down and focus on fielding the best lineup you can. Allow me to be of assistance with this week’s waiver wire recommendations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

MattWi77iams & Nick Faber break down the latest moves in fantasy football including the Sanders & Sanu trades, along with Kerryon going to the IR.

Players discussed: Emmanuel Sanders, Mohamed Sanu, Kerryon Johnson, Ty Johnson, JD McKissic, Austin Hooper, Calvin Ridley, George Kittle, Dante Pettis, Deebo Samuel, Kenyan Drake, Adrian Peterson, Alfred Morris, Chase Edmonds, David Johnson.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The so-called “toilet bowl” was… actually pretty exciting.

The fashion in which the Dolphins lost to the Redskins last week was absolutely hilarious. The poor guys played their hearts out in what may have been their lone realistic shot to win a game all season long and actually put themselves in a position to come from behind and tie up the game.

And then they came literally nowhere close to converting the game-winning opportunity as opposed to forcing OT. Oh well. Such is life for a Miami Dolphin. Why they’re continuing to roll with Ryan Fitzpatrick is an entirely different discussion.

The other thing that came out of this game was a fantastic performance from Terry McLaurin, a name featured in a good amount of winning daily fantasy lineups despite his questionable availability heading into the game. Hopefully, we’ll be able to find the Scary Terry’s of Week 7 in this week’s DFS Guide.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re not up for story time, you can skip right down to performance checks. It’s personal and probably not for everybody, but I wanted to tell it anyways. 

Speaking of worries, we had a medical emergency with my son on Sunday afternoon and that would explain why I didn’t post on Monday. Before we continue on this crazy journey, everything is fine now. On Sunday afternoon I was watching the games and switching off checking on our son with my wife. He had a lingering stomach ache since after breakfast. He actually threw up and said he was starting to feel better. I checked for a fever, nada. We Gave him some medicine to settle his stomach down. Everything is fine, he just has a stomach bug.

Around the time the late afternoon games kicked off, things got really intense. He yelled “MOM, DAD!” and we ran upstairs. He was sitting on the floor holding his stomach grimacing in pain, his chicken noodle soup untouched. It was time to go to the hospital. 

We get to the hospital, I think that he has food poisoning and my wife thinks that his appendix is on the verge of bursting. The doctor? He thinks it’s gas. They do an X-Ray, there are no blockages (not a gas issue). The pain is intensifying for him and my palms are getting sweaty and my wife is getting tears in her eyes. My patience is wearing thin.

Please, blog, may I have some more?