It is another Victory Tuesday as I awaken in my parents’ basement. I put on my pants (one leg at a time, like everybody else), and this morning I won’t be needing a shower because I smell of success. I’ve been getting rich off of the sweet, sweet capitalism of the fantasy football trade market. That’s right, BUY! SELL! BUY! SELL! Wall Street? How about Waller St.? You know what I mean? I will spend the next 13 hours on various forums and social media platforms telling analysts that they are wrong and the exact reasons why. And of course, ripping off my league mates.  

I will tell tales of trading for Nick Chubb before week 1 during the great Kareem Hunt panic of summer 2020. After weathering the storm in week 1, returns have been nothing but PROFIT! I will brag about dumping my Leonard Fournette shares before Ronald Jones maintained his workload in the Tampa backfield in week 3. If I’ve proposed any bad trades, it has escaped my memory as I chuckle a satisfactory laugh to myself thinking about Cooper Kupp scoring his first touchdown in Buffalo after I bought shares following a disappointing first two weeks. My smile fades because it is time to get to work. Fantasy football success isn’t owned, it is rented, and the trade market is open every day depending on your league settings.