Greetings! It’s not often that I deliver a double dose of Beddict, but when Jay calls for me, I come flying like an arrow shot by Robin Hood himself! Bullseye Muthaf*cka! By the way, I meant the Kevin Costner Robin Hood, not that flagrantly foul Russell Crowe garbage. Talk about disappointments! I was ridiculously jacked for that flick, but ended up staying up nights, sweating my nuts off, wondering what went wrong. Probably very much like what every night of Adrian Brody’s life has been like since he won an Oscar.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

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As the title denotes, it looks to be that all the big NFL news is over, for the most part until the draft. And now it’s time to clear out all the remaining news items no matter how small they might be. (That’s what I wish she said.) Wait, what? So all these little tidbits will be taken care of in a very diligent fashion! Maybe. And it has nothing to do with the fact that “tidbits” is such a great word. Now, there probably won’t be a lot of crossover fantasy appeal, but as we transition to talking about the draft and starting to spotlighting players for the upcoming season, well, you’ll forgive me if I fudge the line a little and talk about general football news. Mmm, tidbits and fudge. Regardless, let’s get to all the happenings before the 49ers and Browns decide to trade owners in an effort to cure depression in the form of a different but similar depression.

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Overall: 71-58-1, Locks: 7-1

Greetings! Beddict here, weak and heavily medicated. For you see, I banged my chin on a flawless white marble kitchen countertop in a home owned by Celine Dion while shooting a soft core porn for Cinemax that should be out sometime in 2016. That’s right ya’ll, Beddict’s got 15 stitches in his chinny-chin-chin, and you’ll witness it on Razzball Radio and The Fantasy Sports Network next Tuesday. I was thinking about taking advantage of the situation and getting a chin implant. such as this one here, but after speaking with the Elders, it was decided that now is not the time.

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It’s Sunday, and the clock is about to strike 1:00 pm.  Anticipation is building, and you finally cave, as you remove Stevan Ridley from your FLEX and replace him with Joique Bell.  After all, Ridley has been in the doghouse with Coach Belichick and Bell has a great matchup vs. the Eagles.  We’ve all be there before — at the last minute you completely reverse course from the original starting lineup you had all week long.  Sometimes it pans out, but sometimes you’re left kicking yourself — like when Bell cedes carries to a red-hot Reggie Bush and Ridley sneaks in for a couple of one-yard touchdown dives.

This column is here to help you make those decisions easier.  Each Saturday throughout the NFL season, I will be providing you with a list of some players you should start, as well as some that should take a seat at the end of your bench.  I won’t be telling you to start LeSean McCoy, ‘cuz if you’d ever consider sitting him, well, you’ve got way more things to worry about than fantasy football (like getting your head checked).  Instead, I’ll focus more on the fringe players or the sneaky second- or third-tier guys who aren’t automatic starts or sits each week.

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Sorry for Partying. That phrase has become synonymous with one of the most explosive Tight Ends to hit the NFL in recent years and though the media makes it sound like fun, we fantasy owners are not amused. Whether it’s having a shirtless dance off after the Super Bowl, hooking up with a Lolita in Aruba or whatever it is he’s doing here, Rob Gronkowski has always been one to take life not too seriously and has some major meat-head tendencies. Not that the NFL hasn’t had meat heads in the past that we all loved to laugh along with. I mean, Brian Bosworth is still making movies to this day with just the same amount of box office success as when he was in his prime. I mean, take a look at Boz’s Revelation Road. It came out in 2013. It’s also streamable on Netflix in 2013. PS, we’re still in April of 2013. As long as you’re not a meat head yourself, the math is pretty basic on how bad of a film that is. All this to say, this meat head lifestyle can work out just fine. But notice I’m not talking about on field exploits here? Exactly my point: sorry for partying isn’t gonna cut it if Rob is sidelined after rumors of another surgery is needed on his left forearm. This surgery would be #4, BTW. There have been infection issues up to this point and now the word is that the healing process on the bones has been ‘non-union’. No word yet on if they’ve tried having these surgeries outside of Wisconsin. But more to the point, whether it’s fair or not, these off field excursions have to make fantasy owners a little worried about a full dedication to his health. If you’re gonna draft a guy in the top 20, you kinda want to have faith that he’ll rehab from surgery correctly and be ready to start the season, no? Rhetorical. Of COURSE you do. The key thing here is that Rob is of a special class of TE, the rare ‘set it and forget it’ type that we all love but we might not have that from him for the 2013 Fantasy Football season and this scares us all greatly. Sorry for partying indeed, Mr. Gronk. If there is yet another surgery and the infection lingers, owners might wanna shy away from Rob for this season in redraft leagues unless he goes low enough. In other news for fantasy football…

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Much to the surprise of no one, recently crowned Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco signed a big deal with the Baltimore Ravens which, in the fantasy world, is actually not big news. Or at least not as big as his eyebrows. Seriously, have you seen what he used to look like in college? The ladies must’ve been all over him…with wax strips. I think Joe Flacco could’ve made a great endorsement deal with Geico had he not sculpted that forehead caterpillar into two furry islands instead of leaving it the Pangaea it already was. But I digress, that type of material should solely be used on your opponents who draft Flacco in regular leagues and not for fantasy analysis. The reality is the contract is very incentive-laden and backlogged in terms of payout so there are no immediate worries or concerns we should have about the Ravens not having enough to resign free agents or more quality players where it’s needed. Now that the Ravens have their man and – more importantly – the continuity of a returning QB, they will need to set their sites on either resigning Anquan Boldin or finding a Boldin clone. As I previously mentioned in my Torrey Smith analysis, Torrey is not ready to be the short-route guy in Baltimore and may never be. While there’s nothing wrong with that, per se, it will be deadly to the value of him and Jacoby Jones if they aren’t allowed to go out and do what they do best: stretch the field and make big plays. And while many scouting reports make note that Tandon Doss is a great route runner, they also mention he lacks the strength to fight in the short passing game, much like what Boldin can do. Overall, the return of Flacco still needs a few more parts to keep everything on offense copacetic. Overall, Flacco is still the fantasy quarterback he was last year: a bench QB. But the cool news for you is, some n00b is gonna draft him higher than he should go. You know, because he’s won a Super Bowl and is elite. Just like Trent Dilfer! In other news and rumors for 2013 fantasy football…

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If you’re looking for a good way to avoid depression in the month following the Super Bowl, I recommend holding a Winter Meeting for your league. This is a perfect opportunity to meet up with your league-mates, award the championship trophy, and deliver your oft-rehearsed excuse why your team didn’t make the playoffs. (Pro-Tip: If […]

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