Sometimes you’re the dog — sometimes you’re the hydrant. Ben Roethlisberger was one of my QB sit recommendations last week and this week he is my first QB start recommendation. Last week I recommended you start 49ers WR Marquise Goodwin and this week I want nothing to do with anyone on offense for San Francisco. What a difference a week makes!

I’ve got your cure for the bye week blues right here:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are a quarter of the way through the fantasy football season. There are some trends that are becoming more or less of a normalcy. Fantasy football performance is almost as unpredictable as the injuries that ravage our rosters. As rankers, we have a big enough sample size to start fading some of the players who performed well in past seasons at our choosing and also consistently moving up players that are having good seasons for more than just their match ups.

Without further ado, here are my Week 5 rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I haven’t seen a Carr get sacked like that since I rubbed my nuts all over the hood of my ex’s new boyfriend’s Civic…

For your own notes, I was also considering “Carr Trouble” as the title of today’s recap, but I figured I’d just go full year 2000 (Y2K baby!). Raiders quarterback David Derek Carr left with a back injury suffered late in the third quarter versus the Broncos yesterday and did not return, forcing Jack Del Rio to ask “Is this Carr still covered under the manufacturer warranty?”. Look guys, the automobile puns are endless, so just deal. So now that the E.J. Manuel experience began anew yesterday, I guess this means I can’t read any Raiders hot takes for the next week or so. Granted, 2-2 is not a terrible record when you’ve played three of your first four games on the road, but I doubt the fans will see that. As SON said on this past-week’s pod, their time is now (adding Marshawn Lynch and the top-dollar money thrown at the team’s high-profile offensive line, both Cooper and Crabtree on the roster, etc.) and losing your starting quarterback, even if he is an Alex Smith clone with Joe Flacco eyebrows, is a playoff killer. Del Rio did tell reporters that his back injury did not seem serious, officially labeled as “back spasms” and that Carr’s set to go next week, but a quarterback playing through a back injury? Let’s ask Tony Romo about how he feels about that. Regardless, this is the weirdest week of football I’ve seen in a while (since last week), so let’s get those GIFs, hot takes, and other relevant (more like irrelevant) content into your laps! (Because where else should content go? RAWR.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome everyone to Week 4 of the NFL Season! What a week, huh? I’m not talking about the NFL season, I’m talking about the wonderful week Rudy and the crew had last week and so far this season! If you haven’t heard the news, our Razzball NFL projections are Top 5 on accuracy so far in 2017 on FantasyPros.com, and Top 3 on boldness!

As I have said since the beginning, if you haven’t subscribed yet to our tools, you are simply wasting money!

Anyway, today is Saturday, and you know what that means! It’s time to get to some Razzball-certified picks and players to help you guys out with those lineups.

Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well that was a wild week. Some may argue that the week was just the worst for fantasy, but you have to admit, with everyting going on with the outside world and football over the past few days, that Sunday was just the thing we all needed. I mean we got to see another Brady last-second win, another Lions performance cancelled out by their greatest rivals, the refs, another Packers OT thriller, and some big upsets in London, Chicago, New York, Washington, Buffalo, and quite possibly the best of them all, a fantastic 61-yard field goal from Jake Elliott as the Eagles narrowly defeated the New York Football Giants.

Let’s hope Week 4 delivers on all this hype. Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s going on everybody,! Hopefully you all had a better Week 2 than I did. Granted I won some leagues, but I did expect some huge games from players that really let me down. I’ll tell you who had a great week though…

Rudy and the Tools! I said it a few times during my rankings post, if you are waiting to subscribe to our fantastic season-long and DFS tools, you are simply wasting money. If Week 1 is any indication, and I think it is, this should be a huge year for Rudy and the rest of the gang here at Razzball. And if it is going to be a huge year for us, why shouldn’t it be a huge year for you guys as well?

Well without further ado, let’s get into some Razzball certified picks for Week 2, with some DFS knowledge at the very end thanks to our great lineup optimizers. Let’s get to it!

Note: Projections are based off of standard scoring leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…Because I Always Welcome Another Thing to Disappoint Me.

Wait, we’re already rebooting Spiderman again? Oh, hey, quick question, anyone know who sponsored the SNF opening? Was it T-Mobile? Sprint maybe? Also, you should know that Von Miller was jumping with butt-flames before it was hip…

Welcome to what I call “Jay’s Review”… since, you know, I’m Jay, and this is my review of Week 1. Spoilier Alert! (That probably should have gone before the last sentence, but f*ck it, we’re doing it live!) For many of you who’ve been wandering around my Razzballs (haha, get it?) for the last four years, you’ve seen the site go through minute but incremental changes. Kinda like the world in general. So DEEP. And so this season, we’re bringing yet another minute and incremental change… If you hadn’t noticed, Matt Bowe led off the day with his take on what happened Sunday… you should check it out. I think it was a love letter to Kenny Golladay, but whatever. Having such an informative asset (potential double entendre alert!) in terms of both Football and Fantasy Football will allow me to spread my wings and fly. Right over to your mother’s house. It’s no secret that I like having a little fun… probably a little too much fun. For those of you who want deep analytics like how I want to watch Deep Impact over and over again (Armageddon is in my top-10, lest we all forget that asteroid movies are my fetish) and some usable fantasy information, Matt’s your guy. If you’d like to have a little fun with what happened Sunday, experience some jokes, watch some great plays in GIF form, create some hot takes, AND still enjoy some “measured” usable fantasy information, welcome to my club! We get spiffy hats. Just kidding. I just get the spiffy hats. TL;DR – Why so serious? See Matt! Want to see me in a spiffy hat? See me!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello everyone, here are my Top-200 rankings for 2017! It’s my first ever attempt at one of these, so please leave any thoughts and comments about any such player or decision below. Hopefully I can follow in the footsteps of the great rankers before me, Jay and Tehol (soon!), and now Matt Bowe! Check out our entire 2017 Draft Kit with so much analysis and rankings that will have you on your way to fantasy dominance in the 2017 season. Enjoy!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Join here!

Do you need a safe and easy way to store your league’s fantasy football fees? Look no further than LeagueSafe.  It’s fast, safe, and very user friendly.  Put in promo code: RAZZBALL and get a free $10 added to your league’s purse if you’re a new member!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Something you didn’t know you wanted until now… I didn’t even know I wanted this until it was made. Much like your mother. You can find Razzball’s Quarterbacks Preview here. You can find Razzball’s Quarterback Rankings here. And Razzball’s Visualized Tiers for Quarterbacks (probably the best draft accessory you can bring as part of your ensemble) can be found after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?