Overall: 48-42-1, Locks: 4-1

Greetings!! Tis I, Beddict, your favorite chicken lover and gambling extraordinare. Hopefully, you’ve kept up with my picks the past two weeks on Twitter or in the comment section of my weekly Disgrace/Delight column. Oh, you don’t care about point spreads and real betting? What’s that you say? You come here for fantasy football advice, not for some former mankini model to put you up to your ears in debt and possibly ruin your life? Dudes/Dudettes, this is for fun! Chill out! It’s been my lifelong dream to write a weekly betting column, so can you at least pretend to enjoy it? Make your picks every week, beat me and receive thousands of kudos points, possibly even a razzball T-Shirt. Razzball, you know, the greatest website every created. Let’s get involved people! Think you’re more intelligent than me? (Don’t answer that!) Then put your knowledge of the NFL to the test below, for there is no greater challenge on earth than correctly choosing a high percentage of covers.

I made my Thursday Night Football pick in my Disgrace/Delight column, going with the Saints (-3). I was laughed at for calling it a lock, but we see how that turned out. Still, we won’t count it as the lock of the week since I never actually stated it was that. The Elder Gods have blessed me with many great bounties over the years. I have a feeling this week shall be one of my most blessed hauls ever.  The quest for the perfect week continues.

Shall we begin? Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings! Welcome to another titillating edition of Disgrace/Delight. Tough week for your boy, as I dropped $130 and $160 in two money leagues with the first being a standard scoring league. There’s an ongoing joke (I’m the only one who seems to participate in it), in the standard league that I’m cursed as I get everyone’s best performance and lost in my first three finals appearances, including on by a tie!!! This is quickly becoming creepier than (Homeland Spoiler Alert!) Carrie molesting that 17 year-old Pakistani boy. (Spoiler over.) They dog me for being a supposed “expert”, don’t read my blogs, and definitely don’t watch my  TV interviews on The Fantasy Sports Network (some friends, I know). I feel like Rodney Dangerfield, for Beddict the Elder God Blessed gets zero respect from these clucks. It’s time to turn the tide. It’s time to channel the powers of the Elder Gods and demolish the souls of these treacherous bastards. Those of you residing outside the playoff picture at this moment need to take a look in the mirror (I have hundreds if you need to borrow one), and ask yourself if you want to be great. It starts with this week, and I’m going to be by your side, pushing and prodding you to be the best you can become. Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been patiently waiting to blow. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Tehol Beddict show. Greetings! I had to take a two week sabbatical to put in major work on my favorite charitable cause, “Beddict’s Single Mothers Project.” This charity was founded by myself, Tehol Beddict, in Jaunary of 2007 and takes aim at really solidifying the home life of abandoned or widowed mothers. The inspiration for this incredibly rewarding project came from none other than my idol/role model, Ernie McCracken, and his “Fatherless Family” sponsorship program. I devote a full 24 hours to single mothers that are deemed “worthy” by my assistants. By allowing them to make me 3 full meals with dessert plus two pipings and a tossed salad, they get to feel alive and appreciated again, helping them breakout of their funk and letting them live life to the fullest again. I’ve found that blowing these women’s backs out truly helps them become better mothers and for that I’m thankful. On NFL Sundays, doggystyle is a must, so you can both watch the game. I wasn’t the only prime-time performer on Sunday though guys. Alshon Jeffery, Josh Gordon, and Erik Decker also went balls deep on the opposition. Were you lucky enough to have one of these legends? Did anyone have all 3? If so I need to hear about it in the comment section. For those of you wishing to donate money to my “Beddict’s Singe Mothers Project,” please DM me on Twitter and we can work something out on paypal. Thank you so much. Now let’s get to what I witnessed last weekend. Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?