Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. It’s been a few weeks, since I already skipped one post assignment… (Which I probably shouldn’t have, since the football gods gave me this ridiculous match-up to cover instead of the NFC West showdown last week. Which actually wasn’t much of a showdown when you think about it, so I guess there’s that.) So yeah, Chicago and Pittsburgh… Ugh. Can I just write about Breaking Bad instead Sky? Please? Sigh… So, how did I make a game like this watchable? That’s right folks, the answer lies in a newly created section for this series. (To go along with my score and a quick summary of the game, DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS, world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs, and a wonderful concluding thought.) And what’s that new section? Follow me after the jump and find out…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

To quote our magnificent G.O.B. Jr, in response to magic tricks, ‘Illusion…A trick is something a whore does for money…’. That pretty much sums up what must be happening in that Cincinnati Bengals backfield at this point. It’s the only way I can sum up the lack of totes for our man Giovani Bernard over The Law Firm this year. But of course, that’s why BJGE is slinging dirty tricks and we get left with the majestic that is Gio-B’s elusive (illusion = elusive, ok? Get it? No? Meh to you too) running style for only 8 carries on that night. But oh, what great carries they were. Bernard finished the night with only 65 total yards – 38 on the ground and 27 via one catch – but he electrified his team and his fantasy owners, scoring 2 touchdowns in rout to a pretty damn good night for only having 9 total touches. Is Gio that good? Yes, yes he is. Are the Bengals smart enough to take advantage of that moving forward? Sadly, I have my doubts. For some strange reason, I keep hearing about these Cincy Cats being in Super Bowl contention this year and from watching the game tonight, I don’t get it. Do they have the talent? Sure. But do they use their talent wisely? Mmmmm, if the discrepancy between BJGE and Gio’s touches say anything, I’m gonna have to say our talented running back is caught up in a state of…Arrested Development? Pinkie to mouth, mo’fo’s! This team seems to be built to play it conservative and moving forward, as much as I like Gio-B, I can’t get behind him being anything more then a low-end flex moving forward this year. I know, I’m heart-broken too but I don’t run the Bengals anymore then I do the Jets (#FreeIvory…#again). This is a team that’s gonna Raconteur it’s way into the playoffs just like it did last year and Gio is gonna be hit and miss because of it, i.e. through no fault of his own. I’m not saying Bernard is a 30 touches a night guy but 9? Cincy? Really? Beads? BEES?!? Ok, Bengals, you keep starting BJGE, we’ll see who brings in more honey. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from Monday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While looking back over a fantasy football season, the guys who round out the top 40 backs in our 2012 fantasy football rankings are usually a combination of injured studs and half season studs and this list will be no different. Of course, my favorites are the ‘yeah, but when did you start that guy?’ players on the list and there’ll be a few of those. Gotta love when RB2 production has been sitting on your bench or out on waivers for 75% of the season. But I digress, for the purposes of this review, we’ll be using yahoo’s end of season PPR rankings to look back on the season that was for the top 40 running backs of the 2012 fantasy football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t know about you, but when I think of Thanksgiving, I think of glazed ham. I think of candied yams sometimes with and sometimes without marshmallows. I think about green bean casseroles and cranberry sauce. I don’t care if it’s homemade or if I can slice a piece of that gelatinous goodness off the […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How many of you have looked at your fantasy roster(s) this week, and have thought, “Man, if I can salvage a win this week with this line-up, I’m golden”? Well in three of my leagues I had that exact thought, piecing together a makeshift line-up with duct tape and super glue to hopefully sneak in […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?