Greetings! Tis I, Beddict, and I’m gonna drop some serious Bangerz on you today. Sky stole my breaking bad idea, so I suppose my version will have to drop on TeholBeddict.com. Drop by if you want to witness some hot solo jerk sessions and some life changing mankini shots. Back to Sky: I mean the guy is on season 4 for the God’s sake, and he has the balls to drop a breaking bad special on that ass and ask for no spoilers? Ok, think Tehol, think! Is there anything in this incredible universe more fascinating than the greatness that was Breaking Bad? After pulling my hair out and choking the chicken a couple times, it hit me! MILEY. Is it the Salvia smoking, the charmingly boyish haircut, the boner inducing twerking, or is it the blindingly white skin that almost makes Dakota Fanning look African American? We all know Miley’s super producer Mike Will is tagging and bagging that scrumptious pasty pancake ass. I mean, he’s got to be right?!? God dammit, I wanna be him, and that’s probably the first time I’ve ever wished to be another human being. I’d literally kill to bang my wrecking balls against that lurid, smooth skin. Speaking of wrecking balls, that’s my favorite song of Cyrus’s new album, which I listened to on my flight to Maui Thursday morning, specifically for the purpose of writing this prized piece. What I’m doing here is going through Miley’s song titles from her most recent album, Bangerz, taking a quote from them and placing the players under the songs I see fit for them after this last week. As per usual I will be breaking down the targets and touches for players that stood out to me. Oh and one more thing: It slipped my mind that last season my post’s were called ” Hard Targets” not “Targets and Touches,” so that’s coming back as well. I can feel your excitement from my hotel room, where I have two washed up models feeding me grapes and waxing my body for the big shoot tomorrow. When I say “shoot,” I don’t mean money shot, for this is not a porn. Only if I come upon dire straights will that happen. Dear Sky,

Please, blog, may I have some more?