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Hot potato!

“In the 13th round of the coolest fantasy football draft in the world, Seth Klein selects Rod Streater, the No. 1 wide receiver from the Oakland Raiders.”

Yep, you read that right– NO. 1 WIDE RECEIVER… in the 13th round. But it’s the Raiders, right?  They suck. It’s true, the Raiders should continue to suck again in 2014, but they did improve a lot this off-season, and the upgrades they made should benefit their receiving corps. The team bolstered its offensive line by drafting Mississippi State guard Gabe Jackson (who has looked fantastic in camp), and signed free agents Donald Penn, Kevin Boothe and Austin Howard.  Also returning is versatile tackle, and former second-round pick, Menelik Watson, who missed all but five games last season. Of course, Streater’s season will likely be defined by who is throwing him the ball in Oakland, and that man is nine-year NFL vet, Matt Schaub.

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Oh week 16, why do you come along and always make things weird? It’s championship week, could you f’ing not? The Fantasy Football season was trending along just fine, thank you very much, and you come in to a crowded room where everyone is dancing and fart as loudly as you could without even so much as a hint of being embarrassed. Miley Cyrus comes in like a Wrecking Ball, you just come in like William Hung. So of course in a week like this, I just have to rank Andy Dalton in a spot that makes me feel ridiculously odd but what can I say? You know the old addage: red on the head like a dick on a Dalton…or maybe not. IDK, you know I hate this guy but I try not to let my emotions get in the way when the sitch fits and this one fits like a Christina Hendricks top: it covers everything but definitely leaves you wanting to see a bit more. I think I’m mixing my analogies now so let’s just say why we like Andy now, shall we? First, he’s a different type of ginger at home with a 14:5 TD to INT ratio and almost a 20 point swing in QB rating. What makes this matchup all the bestier is the team they’re playing: the Vikings or as I like to call them ‘the second worst defense against opposing QBs behind Dallas’. That’s really hard to fit on a jersey, though, so we’ll just call that their nickname. There’s no reason Dalton shouldn’t put up top 5 numbers this week in my opinion. In other rankings ranklings, wanna know what else the Vikings can’t defend? Yeah, opposing running backs…oh heck who are we kidding, they can’t defend anything. The Illusionist GOB should have a field day, especially in PPR formats as Minnesota gives up 6 receptions a game to opposing backs. Consider BJGE a nice flex option by default while we’re at it. Meanwhile, Jordan Toddman is asking for a High Five. In other news, Greg Little…wow. Again, Championship Week, you’re making it weird. At Tight End…c’mon fellow rankers! Ertz gets a prime matchup and he usually takes advantage when they’re presented. May not be a huge day but a red zone target and about 40 yards total and we’re good for TE. My sweet Carolina defense call? The Saints just had their mardi gras beads handed to them on the road by the Rams. NOLA isn’t the same away from the dome and I think the Panthers pounce at home for a division lead. And regarding Jacksonville: when others Jig, I Jaguar. Kickers were selected by sending them to the mall for last minute christmas shopping on a Saturday. Only those who came back to retell their sad tale were chosen. But enough about the joy of the season, let’s talk shop. Here’s the rankings for week 16 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, ‘ya fool me can’t get fooled again’. Read that with a Texans accent and you’ll get a better feel for who we’re going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I’m not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I’m dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly’s offense ‘not working’ and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today’s game, the Eagles hadn’t scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 – Marvin Jones – scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn’t healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don’t know about you but it’s not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don’t be worried about being Fole’d again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning – he’s dead to those who have him on bye this week – isn’t going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues…well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I’d jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don’t put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well…you don’t get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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With Julio Jones likely out for the season, now might be a good time to take a gamble on Harry Douglas or make a trade for either Steven Jackson or Roddy White if you can get them. When an offensive weapon like that goes down, the surrounding cast all has to step up to the plate. They all come with question marks, but considering how disappointing Atlanta has been this year, there’s a chance you could get one of them for a relatively low price. That all being said, Atlanta is on bye this week so be sure to factor that into your decisions.

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We like our rankings around here like we like our submarines: Long, hard and full of…various men compared amongst their peers! I see what you thought I was gonna do and then I 180 degree’d ya. I was pretty sure you were gonna 98 degrees me. You should never speak ill of those who have passed on, imaginary reader. No one from that boy band is dead… I’ll believe you when I see them again on TV. But enough of all that, we’re here to carry on the rankings tradition we started back in June. We’ve capped our Top 100 off earlier this week and gave you the Top 60 Running Backs yesterday. Wanna know where those links came from? Well I’m gonna send you on a site Easter Egg hunt. The first one to find the word ‘Rankings’ wins a box of peeps. Pink or yellow, it’s your choice but I’m here to tell you both are disgusting. Seriously, whoever thought sugar covered marshmallows was a good idea? Yuck…but enough about diabetes, let’s break down the top 60 wide receivers for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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There’s some pretty big names in the final installment of our review of the 2012 fantasy football rankings. No doubt there are at least a couple of names in this list attached to teams that missed the playoffs. Looking through them, I can see at least three guys that landed on teams of mine that were in the consolation bracket rather than aiming for gold trophy glory. Overall, it’s going to also read like an infirmary ward list as most of the descriptions of their year will start with ‘missed time with injuries’. Football has a way of doing that, of course, but those injuries were a difference between being startable every week and being forgotten by week 10. So with that, let’s get on with the review. As we don’t yet have a player rater, we’ll be using yahoo’s end of season PPR rankings as our reference. So lets see how our top 60 wide receivers for 2012 fantasy football panned out…

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It all comes down to this, at least for the vast majority of fantasy leagues.  With fifteen weeks in the books, fantasy teams suddenly need to start worrying about which teams will bench their star players if the score gets out of hand.  Luckily, no team’s playoff seed is in cement just yet so you […]

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