Jay’s Week 7 Review: Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

October 23, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 News & Notes | 62 Comments

So yeah, I get it, the title is a bit overused in today’s parlance with the bizarre yet hypnotizing Adult Swim “horror-comedy-90’s sitcom” experience bringing the idiom back into style. Combined with the fact that I’d faint if you told me that this headline hadn’t been used by any other football writer before today when referring to Brandin Cooks (seen above with the 11-yard touchdown)… yeah, that saying’s been here before. But how apt! How meta I say! Because that’s exactly how I felt about last night’s prime time rematch of last year’s Super Bowl (did you know? You’d think they would mention that at least once last night!) that 95% of the Northeast tuned out of in the third quarter. There was some horror, some comedy, and of course Bill Belichek carries the whole 90’s sitcom vibe all by himself… but ultimately, it seemed to be a game that’d we’d all seen before and we were all the worse for it. And sure, while it might have been the Falcon’s gameplan all along, to give the Patriots a 23-point lead only to start a miraculous comeback of their own… problem was, the comeback never came and the Falcons looked about as good in the first three quarters yesterday as they did in the last quarter in the aforementioned Super Bowl. But there was fog! And lots of it! (I can’t find confirmation if it was coming out of Cris Collinsworth’s or Bob Costas’ mouth.) So instead of calling this a Super Bowl rematch, maybe we should call it the “Trent Green Bowl”? Kind of an “NFL’s concept” of what it’s like travelling through Trent Green’s head. You know, minus the purple bears and robot unicorns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Colts Officially Upgraded to Dolts

by: Jay

Or downgraded, depending on how you feel. How do I feel? Well… I still can’t quite decide if I enjoyed last night’s Monday Night Football. It had it’s moments, but at the end, I can say that I was overwhelmed with this conclusion: that the Colts pretty much represent how truly reprehensible the AFC South has become. You know it’s serious when I use two really long words that both start with “r”. (I mean, you might have not known that, but now you do. When I bring out the multi-syllabic “r” words, look out!) Anyways, the Colts are now 3-5 after last night’s overtime loss, with their only three wins in 2015 coming against their own division. And, surprising (or I guess not), they are still currently tied for first, despite looking like the AFC version of the San Francisco 49ers. And yes, I’m talking about the newest version that has already started selling (Vernon Davis to Broncos) and has benched Colin Kaepernick for Blaine Gabbert (LOL). Granted, Luck had to deal with a rainy first-half, and has undisclosed rib and shoulder injuries (which actually might be a good thing, or he’d be tempted to build an ark), but some of his passes were straight out of Duck Hunt. And the ones that weren’t? Well, as you can see above, Luck threw an interception that led to a game-winning Graham Gano field goal. Honestly, he’d better be careful, it’s just way too easy to call him Andrew Suck…

Here’s what else I saw during last night’s game… (with bonus Grudenisms!)

Special congratulations go to blewis555 for winning Razzball’s Week 8 Money Contest! One of our Daily Fantasy writers on the Baseball side, Matt Truss, finished second and in the money as well! If you want a chance to join in for Week 9, sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?