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Greetings! Your baby mother’s favorite fantasy football gunslinger is back! “Hile, Beddict.” “Hile, Gunslinger!” I can hear you chanting it from your mother’s basement! I am very much looking forward to tomorrow’s games, for I will be in Las Vegas, spread eagle at the Palazzo, getting my gooch waxed for what will certainly be an entertaining week.

Legal weed….Prostitution…….Automatic weapons…..Prostitution…..Gambling……Prostitution…Who doesn’t love Las Vegas!? Last time I visited, I lost 10K betting the over of the Alabama/Texas A&M game back in 2012. Alabama, at home, on senior night, with Eddie F*CKING LACY couldn’t punch it in from the 3 yard line against one of the worst defenses in college football history………..WHAT THE F*CK!!>!!>?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!! WHY ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Anyway, wish me luck, and enjoy my work below, if it does ya.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! TAKE HEED!!!!

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Before we begin, yes, you did just read team name created by a meme that died probably 12 years ago, but this team name brought me fantasy glory last year, so deal with it.

Welcome everyone to Week 3 of the NFL season! If you’re like me, you’re absolutely pumped after watching an excellent Week 2, and an even better start to the 3rd week with that highly-entertaining and highly-shocking Thursday Night Football game. I mean, where did that come from?

Anyway, today is Saturday, and you know what that means! It’s time to get to some Razzball-certified picks and players to help you guys out with those lineups.

Let’s get to it!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

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Hopefully you took my advice from last week’s post and grabbed Chris Thompson. He was the fifth highest scoring running back with 25.9 points in PPR leagues. Tarik Cohen also had himself a day against the Bucs. The loss of WR Kevin White lead to Cohen getting 8 receptions again. Mohamed Sanu again had a pretty nice game with 13.5 points against Green Bay. And even old dog Philip Rivers had another 17+ point day for the Chargers.

Below you’ll find your under-owned players who you should either grab for this week — or for the long term. If you’ve got any league-specific questions, hit me up in the comments section!

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

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Well the top guys of a week ago did not live up to their hype, did they?  Here are their stats from Week 2:

Javorius Allen – 5 Rec, 35 yards, 66 rush yards, 1 TD.

Kerwynn Williams – 22 rush yards.

Kenny Golladay – 1 Rec, 8 yards.

Tarik Cohen – 8 Rec, 55 yds, 13 rush yards, 1 fumble lost.

Nelson Agholor – 1 Rec, 9 yards, 1 TD.

Williams was quiet this week as the Cardinals looked bad against Indy and Chris Johnson definitely took carries. The whole Cardinals offense still doesn’t look right; let’s hope they get back on track Week 3 but Johnson & Ellington were on the field in overtime and that worries me. On the bright side: Williams is also their return man to add to his value. Don’t cut bait after one week…

Allen looked good on his TD run and is settling in as Woodhead light, which is a hoppy sardines-infused dark chocolate almond butter IPA with less calories. Flacco likes to throw so Allen should remain a flex play, although West is still the bellcow there.

Cohen could have looked better, but Howard was also terrible and the Bears simply got owned, so that Cohen salvaged some fantasy value is good to see. Cohen clearly benefits from being on the field for all the passing the Bears will do. So hold him if you added him last week because better days are coming.

Agholor salvaged some value catching a garbage time TD (though based on that score the Eagles actually had a chance to win (on a Hail Mary), so was it really in garbage time?)

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

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Ever since Jim Harbaugh left for Michigan to chase Ohio State in the Big Ten, the NFC West has been a tale of two teams.  The Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals have traded blows over the past few seasons to represent the West with a home playoff game.  This season is business as usual for the Seahawks.  Seattle continues to reload while getting healthy where they were shorthanded the prior season.  The Cardinals are becoming more of a question mark as Father Time creeps in on offensive weapons that Bruce Arians depends on.

The once left for dead San Francisco 49ers are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel by bringing in John Lynch to be the GM.  Many questioned this tactic until we all witnessed him fleece the Chicago Bears on live television in the most one-sided trade that I can remember.  While we as fantasy team owners know to turn our noses this season, there are a few pieces in place to keep an eye on for the future.  Who knows, maybe there in a 2017 break out star on the 49ers.  We witnessed the magic that Kyle Shanahan can brew up last season with the Falcons.  The Rams changed head coaches but did little else to garner any attention after a disaster-ridden offensive season in 2016.

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It was finally nice to see some great prime time football for once last week! Seahawks versus the  Patriots was an absolutely fitting battle where the Seahawks flipped the script of their Super Bowl XLIX defeat, and Bengals vs. Giants was a tight game until the end. It would’ve been nice to see a bit more flash on Monday Night Football with stars like Odell Beckham Jr., A.J. Green, and Tyler Eifert on the field, but viewers and fantasy owners can’t be too disappointed with how things turned out. Even though we didn’t see much in the way of explosive, flashy plays, wasn’t Beckham’s rendition of Thriller beautiful to watch at least? Last week I wrote about the good ole’ days of football where touchdown celebrations used to make the games better, so the fact that he didn’t get flagged made it all the better. After briefly speaking about the celebration in his post game interview, Beckham got me thinking when he mentioned he was inspired by Conor McGregor’s UFC 205 victory. How ironic is it that Beckham, one of the feeblest minds in the NFL, can be inspired by Conor McGregor, one of our generation’s most prolific trash talkers? I mean, just imagine if Conor was a cornerback slotted to go against Beckham. How many plays do you think it takes for it to escalate to the Josh Norman level of 2015? Two? Three? Either way, I’m sure his fantasy owners don’t care who inspires him as long as he keeps producing. Now it’s time to look at this week, where I take you through all the guys that should be inspiring you to start them.

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kelley

If you’re like me and you’re not into the current political talk, boy have I got a great read for you. I promise the most election-like references I’ll make in the entire post have to do with locker room politics. Instead, let me focus on the cause of what’s wrong with football lately, Roger Goodell. The man in the high castle seems to be too busy counting all the TV revenue money and player fines to worry about how bad ratings are. But don’t we, the public, deserve more from one of the most influential sports in America? I can’t be the only one eating member berries and thinking back to the good ole’ days. Remember when players were free to take cheerleader pom poms for a dance and pull out phones to call and tell their buds they scored? Hell, if Goodell is afraid of “sportsmanship” maybe he ought to implement a more stringent policy on performance enhancing drugs. You know, like the HGH policy that hasn’t caught a single player since the rule’s inception. Hopefully, we can make football great again someday soon and start the fun again. Till then, I guess dancing at home when your sketchy Flex play scores is going to have to do. I’ll do my part and give you a few names to help get you to that victory dance.

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Welcome to another week of fantasy football where everything’s made up, but the points actually matter. Matchups are the name of the game this week, as I’m sure just about everyone is scouring the waiver wire with so much talent on bye. That’d be said, look no further than the Packers who square off against an embarrassing Colts defense. Rodgers is going to toss touchdowns galore in this one, so be ready for quite a few Lambo Leaps. I’m not sure the Colts’ strategy of letting the opposing offenses score as quickly as possible so Andrew Luck can have the ball back is logical, but hey, I’m no defensive coordinator. If it’s too late to snatch up Packers, don’t worry, there’s plenty more juicy matchups to exploit on the docket. And as a bonus because I’m such a good guy, I also have a few secret stashes for those looking to deepen their benches. Let’s get to it!

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oh-henry

Alternate titles for today’s post included “Trick or Tyreek” in honor of Halloween, “Crowder? I Hardly Know Her” (used below), and “The Triple Lutz“. As you can see I chose neither of them. Once again I seem to have managed to stitch together a starting lineup, using waiver wire material, that would have beaten just about any team in your league or any other. You know the old saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”? Well, don’t do that. Unless you’ve actually read the book. The theme of this weeks seems to be players taking advantage of an opportunity given to them because another player was injured.

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faab-morris

FAAB can be tricky. There’s a lot more nuance with FAAB waivers than waiver priority based waiver claims. This time of year it’s much more difficult for me to put price recommendations on these players because it really depends on your situation. There are some running backs this week that will be useful for another 1-2 weeks. Then there are some players that might not be useful until another 2-3 weeks. There are better acquisitions than Alfred Morris this week, but I think he is still under the radar, that’s why I highlighted him in the title and picture.

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One is an underrated story that fell apart under it’s own depressive weight and the other is the movie 28 Grams. For those who are wondering why Mark Ingram (3 CAR, 5 YDS, 1.7 AVG, 2 LONG, 1 FUM) did his best impersonation of Toby Gerhart, behold:

New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram lost a fumble for the second straight week during Sunday’s win over the Seattle Seahawks. …After that, all of the Saints’ handoffs went to Tim Hightower and rookie Daniel Lasco. Ingram was not available for comment in the locker room after the game. “He wasn’t carrying it loose,” Payton said of the fumble against the Seahawks. “They were able to just pull it free. We’ll be back to work with him.” Payton said not fumbling had been a point of emphasis for Ingram after the previous game, which explains the quick decision to go to Hightower.Source.

I just want to add that Tim Hightower fumbled in the same game AND Ingram has five career fumbles. Five. You know, it would really screw up my week if I have to drive all the way out to New Orleans to punch Sean Payton in the d*ck. Anyhow, we’re here to get ready for Halloween by eating a copious amount of Twix bars to talk about Sunday’s games and Fantasy Football, so let’s get started!

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faab-davante

FAAB waiver wire acquisitions time. These recommendations are ghoulish. Ghastly even. I hope you read my post from last week, because it was funny. I hope you did NOT follow the advice I was giving regarding Jay Ajayi because it was terrible. You might even say it was a disaster (believe me). It’s like a skeleton in my closet. I was lukewarm on Ajayi and I basically told a reader not to drop Isaiah Crowell for him, because it would be a “lateral move”. Yeah not so much. Well, we know he won’t continue to be that good. I’ve been led to believe 200 yard rushing games are rare. This week we  will consider Davante Adams, Cordarrelle Patterson, Chris Thompson and Alfred Blue, among others…

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