Gronk, my savior. My gallant knight in shining armor riding his mighty steed coming to rescue me, his distressed virgin maiden. That’s two weeks in a row now that Gronk has saved me from fantasy extinction, and I owe him my sanity for it. In all of my days, I’ve never witnessed a tight end that seemingly breaks a tackle on every single reception. Sorta like how Kanye West seemingly says something incredibly moronic every time he opens his mouth or puts on a new skirt. It’s quite incredible, really. It’s certainly within the realm of  possibility  that Gronk could have been the greatest tight end in the game’s history, if you erased all the nasty injuries that incredibly chiseled body (pause) has endured. That’s most likely not going to occur now, but as long as he’s even at 75%, he’s a top-3 tight end in football. I’ll take 100 yards and a tub each and every week from my tight end and celebrate with an O’Douls. If captain limp wrist can play like he did this past week, Gronk’s numbers should continue to ascend like Apple stock after they dropped the iPhone 6….Wait… what? Scratch that. Oh, you waited six hours in the rain for one of those? I wouldn’t wait six hours in the street for a FREE iPhone 6, let alone to have the opportunity to pay full price for one. Kudos to those of you with that kind of dedication and tenacity though. I’m thoroughly impressed…

Please, blog, may I have some more?