Week 7 in the NFL was like the first five minutes of Saving Private Ryan – carnage. It was one rough week with big-name players left battered, broken, concussed and crying . Sing it, Bono: Sunday, bloody Sunday. The Bucs’ Doug Martin is out for the year with a torn labrum. So much for that number one pick. The Colts’ Reggie Wayne suffered a season-ending torn ACL. The Rams’ Sam Bradford is gone for the year with the same injury. In the Fantasy Football world, ACL stands for: All Championships Lost. Jay Cutler broke his groin and no amount of Kristin Cavallari massaging is going to fix it; he’s out 6 weeks. Philly’s new favorite son Nick Foles appears done and is sitting in a dark room with his drool cup after suffering the dreaded “C” word the NFL hates to hear – concussion. Packers tight end Jermichael Finley went down with his second serious head injury this season and spent the night in the ICU thinking he was at Disney World. Arian Foster was lost to a hammy, Brian Cushing broke his leg, Lance Briggs is out with a fractured shoulder, Champ Bailey hurt his foot and Peyton Manning’s forehead is still the color of a baboon’s ass. Oh, its always like that. Good news for Peyton owners. With so many roster shattering injuries and six teams on byes this week, it’s time to do some deep digging into the waiver wire medical bag. Get me a morphine drip and let’s jam it or cram it.

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There was a lot of buzz about the Chicago Bears offense heading into the season. B-Marsh was gonna have a great year and Alshon was going to improve upon a decent but unhealthy rookie campaign. Cutler was going to have his most productive QB year yet. And underneath it all, Matt Forte was just kinda there. Sure, much of the offense was tailored to a guy like Forte but in most rankings, Forte wasn’t cracking the top 5 running backs. I’m not just talking for myself here – I put him 14th in PPR for RBs…you can berate me in the comments -he was getting treated like what he has been in most seasons coming into 2013. A low touchdown back who had strong PPR value and would gain you over 1000 yards on the ground. Nothing to go crazy over by any means. But clearly the value-flip has switched. After today’s effort of 19/91/3 to go with 2/18 through the air, Forte is pacing out to be a guy that’ll clear 1700 yards on the year to go with 13 touchdowns and a whopping 80 receptions. I doubt the reception numbers on many levels but if he finishes in the 60 range, color me not surprised. He’s been a bit of an unsung RB hero this year in a draft full of disappointments and here’s me standing up and saluting Matt and his efforts. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to do it much with McCown moving forward. In other news from week 7 for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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In an interview with some guy somewhere, Kurt Cobain explained that his song ‘Penny Royal Tea’ was ‘…about a person who’s beyond depressed; they’re in their death bed, pretty much.’ I’m pretty sure that describes most of Kurt’s songs, but that’s beyond the point. As I begin to look at the fallen – like ‘dola – or the barely theres – like Roddy – ya have to start looking around for someone out there to fill the void before you start trying to make your own fantasy abortifacient (word of the day!). Well look no further for a shot at that as Eddie Royal just can’t seem to avoid the end zone right now. After having a 3 catch, 2 TD performance last Monday night against the Houston Texans for a measly 24 yards, it was pretty easy to write him off as a one week fluke; the Kevin Ogletree of 2013, if you will. But then he went and did this: 7 catches for 90 yards to go with 3 more scores. That’s a monstrous games no matter what angle you come at it from. But there is one angle I’d like to mention here: that Eagles secondary is bordering on non-existent. I thought their defense would get a chance to bare down and take apart this Chargers offense after their own offense turned the tides quickly on them but they held their own most of the day and it was in no small part thanks to Royal on that front. Moving forward, Eddie is looking like an immediate pickup but faces a fairly tough challenge in the Titans next week (I can’t believe I typed that). If I’m scrambling for WR depth and have been sitting on upside that has been turned upside down, here’s your chance at redemption. It’s time to make your team feel like Royalty. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from week 2…

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Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football, which is tacitly accepted as the premiere time-slot. This series of 17 (likely) posts will be much like last year. Except we’re going to do a little format change, cause that’s how I roll. First section will be the score and a quick summary of the game. Quick, just the way your mother likes it. The second section will be my DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS. All caps, why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHY. Which totally answers your question. And then next, the world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs. And then a wonderful concluding thought. Because I know you care of such things. So let’s see how this goes with an already indiscriminate amount of bourbon in my system.

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Well, we’ve gone through just about every type of 20 there is this week. We’ve brought you the Top 20 Quarterbacks, Running Backs, and Wide Receivers and now we’re here to talk about Tight Ends for our 2013 Fantasy Football Rankings. On the one hand, the position is deep. On the other hand, there’s really only two ringers in the bunch that will outpace their TE compadres by enough that you’ll truly notice. On the third hand which is actually just a cut out of the Hamburger Helper that I’ve glued to my shirt, Tight End is the position just behind QB on which I’m going to say do not take a top one unless they fall to you in the draft. It’s a position that had a few surprises last year that crept into the top 10 and I fully expect the same to happen this year for various reasons. In shallow enough leagues, I’m going to be very tempted to stream them as needed until it proves I have a keeper or until someone notices it and starts hoarding guys like Marcedes Lewis. At that point, it’s clear I’ve done my job: made someone done lose their minds. But that’s my approach and not what this is all about. This is the Top 20 Tight Ends for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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A review of the Top 20 Tight Ends for 2012 fantasy football always feels like a lie to me. It really only takes a few good games to get in the top 10 of this position, as you’ll no doubt notice. Some of these players went missing for weeks on end; just ask the owners who put their faces on the backs of milk cartons across the US in the hopes that someone had spotted them recently. Outside of the top pick of this tight end group, there was very little consistency to be had and even said player dropped the ball on his team during the championship week. As stated previously – that is if this isn’t the first top insert position here that I put up…which it might be…but I don’t think it will be – the stats below don’t include week 17 seeing as you didn’t count them so why should we? And for more full disclosure, we’re relying on the yahoo PPR rankings to date through week 16 for our review system. But enough about that, let’s get down to brass knuckle tacks and review the top 20 tight ends from the 2012 fantasy football season…

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