If your Week 2 was anything like what fans of Baltimore, Cleveland, and Las Vegas experienced, then you’re waking up on Tuesday in the depths of despair. Fortunately, the season is young and there’s plenty of time to right the ship once the page is turned. Unfortunately, the waiver wire isn’t all that enticing this week, and there’s an armadillo turning my backyard into the next Holes remake. However, if you’re a relentless quarterback streamer or in a two-QB league, there are some intriguing options for you this week — not to mention some serious finds at the wide receiver position should your league mates not have gobbled them up yet. If you’re in a waiver order-based league and not in dire need, this is a week to stand as firm as Snoop Dogg’s buttcheeks in the TSA line. In deeper formats and leagues utilizing FAAB, proceed with caution. I wouldn’t use more than 15-20% on even the top names listed, although you could validate up to 25-30% if you’re so desperate your season-long competitiveness calls for it. Hopefully, you’re not in that position this early. Onward we go!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Starting off with a quick bit of housekeeping, here: I’ve already covered Davante Adams, Hunter Renfrow, Ja’Marr Chase, Amon-Ra St. Brown, D.J. Chark and more in my Week 1 Target Report, so don’t forget to check that one out as well! Here and now, we look to Week 1 snap counts. Who were the busy […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 12 is upon us, and only 4-5 weeks remain until playoff season. Many of you (myself included) are down to making dollar bids. If your team is in a rebuild, you may be sitting on a surplus of faab, now is a great time to trade some of that faab for a draft pick or high-upside player. For those of you with contending teams, you may be down one $1 per week, so use it wisely. I have a few player suggestions here, and of course, I have them at all the pertinent positions.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s hard to believe that 2 months ago, Donkey Teeth was sleeping in a dumpster outside of Krispy Kreme and burning expired donuts for heat. One day, his muscle shirt got singed by the flame of a glazed gone wrong. The scorch marks on his only shirt formed the shape of a running back, and that scorch mark turned into a prophecy. Donkey Teeth placed two bear claws on his hands and found the nearest internet-equipped machine where he typed, “Jonathan Taylor RB1” to all the people who would listen. Now that November has arrived and Donkey Teeth has upgraded his abode to a camper that he parks in a Taco Bell parking lot, it seems like people are finally understanding the meaning of Donk. Let’s see what other news we can dig up from the Sunday slate: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was working in the lab, late one night. When my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster on his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise… He did the Mash. The Monster Mash

Just take these wise words in for a moment. Breathe them in. The monster… he did the mash. And don’t we all do the mash sometimes, much to the chagrin and sometimes excitement to our contemporaries? Yes, even sometimes it will truly be a “graveyard smash”. 

What was this section about? Oh uh Halloween injury report. Right. There was a thread here but I got carried away in the poetry of Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt Kickers (Side note: Here’s a great TV performance of Bobby Pickett doing the Monster Mash, a real masterclass in making really weird faces and being a weirdo).

The teams who will have some extra trick-or-treating time on bye this week are the Ravens and the Raiders. See ya next week! 

Let’s get into this week’s horror show!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I woke up the other morning with visions of Flacco in my head. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. “You’re a Super Bowl winning quarterback with millions in your bank account, not the backup QB on a winless team that’s tanking! Go get ’em tiger!” I put on my Pumas and raced outside, not quite realizing it’s 15 degrees when I stepped out the door. Still, I ran. I ran like Rocky ran, sweat-banded and sweat-shirted. And when I cross the mile threshold, I told myself, “It’s three weeks until the fantasy championships! All your friends will validate you! They’ll say you’re handsome and smart and five years from now they’ll remember that Kirk Cousins brought you the fantasy championships!” I looked around, slightly crazed and slightly lost, and realized I was far from home. But aren’t we all. With Joe Flacco on my mind, I started to retrace my steps, one-by-one. Russell Wilson started strong. James Robinson was a fluke FAAB win that brought me to the playoffs. Derrick Henry surged through the defenses while Ryan Tannehill sliced secondaries. And all the while, Corey Davis grabbed first down after first down. There were so many Titans I couldn’t figure out if I was talking “Attack on” or “Remembering the.” But one thing stuck with me: it was the fantasy friends I made along the way. If I made you a fantasy friend of mine or the site, please show some love by getting an ad-free membership or checking in on the basketball or baseball sides and following the fantasy fun all-year round. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, well, well. Week 12. Do I need to introduce what ended up being one of the weirdest weeks in NFL history? From a fantasy perspective, we watched Patrick Mahomes chase the Chiefs’ record for single-game passing yards (held by Elvis Grbac, you Trivial Pursuit maniac), while also watching Denver Broncos practice squad wide receiver Kendall Hinton make his NFL debut as a QB. One of those situations did not end well. On top of all of that, we’re looking forward to Tuesday Wednesday Night Football. In case you forgot, when Tuesday Night Football that happened earlier in the year wreaked havoc on stats providers who hadn’t prepared for “Y2K,” and some fantasy providers went weeks without accurate scoring. And now we’ve got a WNF, which is also the name of my favorite Korean boy-band. SEW (<- not a boy band). I’m giving you the best information that’s available at the time of writing, and hopefully Week 13 will be a bit easier to navigate. Next week will be the final installment of the rest of season QB rankings, so if you’re hoping to follow me here at Razzball, I’ll ask you to navigate over to the basketball section, where I’ll be doing a weekly player highlight column. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who’s ready for Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving means three things: Matt Stafford, the turkey and contentious political commentary. Wait, what’s an Oxford comma again? OK, that was one thing. Hopefully you’ll be safe in your mansions this week. For the rest of us, let’s take a look at the thing keeping us hopeful: the upcoming fantasy playoffs and the quarterbacks that lead our teams through darkness. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Covid isn’t flattening QBs and teams left and right, massive windstorms have completely shut down QBs several times this year. In Week 10, another Vortex Giant (CR25 for you nerds) stomped into many stadiums, leaving giant killers like Nick Chubb and [checks notes] Ben Roethisberger (hmmm) to save the villagers. I’ve asked fantasy managers to be proactive about rostering useful streaming QBs, if not to provide options in case of Covid or weather, but at the very least to deprive your opponents of a starting QB. This last week, your opponents would have gotten useful streaming games from bottom-tier QBs like Alex Smith, Kirk Cousins, and Philip Rivers. Now, I’m not applauding their games. But when other QBs are facing off against sustained 25MPH winds, gusts to 50MPH, and rain/sleet, those fair weather QB streamers look awfully nice. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Earlier in the summer when I was ranking pitchers over on the baseball side, there was a moment early in the baseball season when less than 60 starting pitchers had played; the rest were injured or quarantined or got caught at the club and sent home. The starting quarterback landscape is increasingly looking that way: tons of injuries are taking their toll, and the NFL has a baffling Covid policy where they’re punishing teams for practicing during the week yet still marching teams out every Sunday rather than delaying the games. Was Tuesday Night Football really that bad? I mean, other than screwing up the fantasy scoring systems for like two weeks. ENYWHEY. Outside of Dak Prescott, most of the injuries and quarantines haven’t affected the bulk of fantasy managers playing in standard leagues. Those who are in deep leagues, dynasty leagues, or superflex leagues, however, are probably in massive frustration mode. Here’s how I’m seeing the QB landscape unfold. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our expectations for Monday night’s Patriots against Jets showdown were lower than my expectations for the art fair my lady made me attend over the weekend. Or as I call it, the fart fair. One of these events yielded more entertainment than expected (hint: it wasn’t the fart fair).  Two under the radar receivers put on a show for us as the Jets attempted to steal their first win and the Patriots attempted to avoid the embarrassment of losing to the Jets. Breshad Perriman erupted for 5 catches for 101 yards and his 1st and 2nd touchdowns. But on the other side of the ball, Jakobi Meyers had a response, reeling in 12 catches for 169 yards (nice). I’m not sure I’ve ever properly highlighted the boldness factor which makes our Pigskinonator projections bot so valuable. For instance, this week the Bacon-bot ranked Jakobi Meyers as it’s #11 fantasy wide receiver, ahead of some big name players who busted like Adam Thielen, Michael Thomas and Marquise Brown. This hunk of metal certainly ain’t shy! Now, it’s worth pointing out that these computer generated projections and rankings aren’t intended to be used as gospel, but they’re a phenomenal complementary data driven reference point which pays off week in and week out. Sign up now for your free trial! And to answer your question regarding Meyers and Perriman moving forward: they’re both worth adding if you’re needy at wide receiver; Meyers and his 14 targets should be prioritized first. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?