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I mean, you do have the Arizona Cardinals with the best record in the NFL. The Miami Dolphins suddenly look like they can be competent for certain stretches of time. One of those times including a game against my Chargers. Both the Colts and Eagles (depending on Nick Foles’ status) seem competent enough to being contenders. Even the Steelers have figured a few things out behind Ben Roethlisberger treating the last two games like he met them in a dive bar bathroom. But I think it’s fair to say that the Broncos and Patriots, fulfilling a narrative wet dream on a continual basis, had to have been considered the two best teams. At least until the Patriots destroyed the Broncos yesterday afternoon. While I’m a constant palm-facer when it comes to Peyton Manning’s “cold-weather” narrative, it seems that his “can’t beat the Patriots” narrative may have something to it. Also, there are way too many narratives. Please no more narratives. That being said, despite having their own problems early in the season, the Patriots have seemingly maintained their status as one of the top teams in the NFL, if not the top team. Now that you’ve figured that part out, for the love of god, can you give the ball to Shane Vereen more? Is that too much to ask?

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For a sixth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing NFL-team blogs for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team for our Team Preview Series through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Alex Mann from the leading Arizona Cardinals blog: Revenge of the Birds.

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The possibilities are nearly endless with the Bobby Rainey references. Who knew Bobby Rainey would go off for nearly 35 fantasy points and start trending on Twitter? Some of my faves include #ItsRaineyMen, #NovemberRainey, #ChocolateRainey and #SomewhereOverTheRaineyBow. Personally, I went the Milli Vanilli route because I see Bobby Rainey more fraud than Grammy winner. Now and then something comes along that is just too good to be true. Ask Sky about his investment in Planet Hollywood. One of those things was the “band” Milli Vanilli. Back in late 80’s, early 90’s, your-humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru was trapped in Top 40 radio Hell and forced to spin tunes by MC Hammer, Wilson Phillips and Roxette. I refer to those four years as my “lost weekend.” Personally, I believe we all need a few lost years or decades in our lives. It’s hard to respect someone that didn’t completely piss away their life for at least a year or two doing something crazy like follow the Grateful Dead, travel with the carnival or marry a Russian bride. Unfortunately, I wasted my time playing the lip-sync hits from Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the rain. And the free cocaine. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

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MFer I’m a monster in this game, similar to the Lochness. My writing’s nappy rooted, all my pieces have a process. Greetings all! Tis I, Beddict, back with more fantasy football goodness, and boy am I excited tonight. No, not because Chris Johnson scored 2 TDs on Thursday night football, but for the reason that more biblical fairy tales are being turned into movies. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been hungrily awaiting a Passion of the Christ sequel. We aren’t receiving that YET, but it’s bound to happen some day right. We can always count on Uncle Mel to deliver us the classics. Instead we get my main man Russell Crowe in the blockbuster, Noah, and man does it look scrumptious. While it doesn’t have Gibson’s maniacal touch, it does reunite Crowe with Jennifer Connelly as they, with God’s help, wipe the face of the earth of all other human life. The Elder Gods laugh hysterically about these children’s tails but one has to wonder how Hollywood has waited so long to turn these fascinating works of fiction into billion dollar hits. This is only the beginning as we should soon expect big budget pictures about Peter walking on water, the Ethiopian in the desert, the stoning of Stephen, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, and the aforementioned Christ sequel. I for one am praying on a trilogy depicting the battle of David and Goliath, Hobbit style. Peter Jackson would be a perfect fit in bringing these storybooks to life and if the Gods will it, Elijah Wood could even play the role of David. Hollywood is sitting on a goldmine and we are the main benefactors. Rejoice!

I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.

I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.

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Amazing, isn’t it, my Razzballers? The Fantasy Football playoffs are on the immediate horizon. Seems like only yesterday we were doing mock drafts and arguing about whether to take Adrian Peterson or Doug Martin with the first pick. Hope you went AP. We were all so young, bright-eyed and hopeful then. Sing it: We are the world, we are the children. Three months later, we are a disgruntled bunch of misanthropes throwing back cheap scotch at 8 am, licking our nicotine patches and staring into the dark abyss of Week 11. If you drafted Arian Foster or Aaron Rodgers, it may be time to take up Fantasy Curling. It’s HUGE in Canada. Ask our touque wearing podcast host Nick. He bailed on his team three weeks ago to concentrate on Canada’s national pastime. For the rest of us more “serious” fantasy ballers, it’s time to start thinking a step ahead of the competition and improve our playoff seeds. There is no loyalty when it comes to this silly little game. It’s time to bail on players dragging you down. So long Trent Richardson, your dead to me. Bye, bye, Stevie Johnson, your mom’s here. Colin Kaepernick? Meet me down by the stream so I can tell you about the rabbits. We’re looking for men not mice. It’s time to make the playoff push. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

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It ain’t even Turkey day, y’all, and someone out there is serving up plenty. Sure, there are plenty of other days in the year where you take your third helping of something but we all know Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for gluttony…right? IDK, I keep getting this whole holiday thing confused by my 5th serving of App-umpkin pie with whip cream mash up. Coaches always told me I should stretch before the game, am I wrong to assume they meant my stomach before the Lions vs the Packers? Ok, ok that’s extreme hyperbole, but at least by the time Oakland vs Dallas hits, my pants shouldn’t fit, right? Of course, I digress/meander/trail away from the point of this post. Robert Griffin, III has been a mystery wrapped within an enigma, shrouded in intrigue and usually has left fantasy owners feeling a bit frustrated this year but I don’t think that was the case tonight. After 281 passing yards on 24/37 passing and three passing TDs to go with 44 yards rushing, I think you RG3 owners can rest easy tonight. It’s been a very up and down year for Washington which can be blamed on a multitude of things. QB who wasn’t ready to start the year? Check. Poor coaching decisions? Check. Doesn’t part one go with part two? Check. Bad defensive play? Checks all around. It’s been a bad year for Washington on multiple levels and RG3’s year has been filled with the feeling of ‘what could’ve been’ for most fans. Here’s to week 10 being the start of something beautiful for both him and fantasy owners. In other news from TNF for week 10 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Rookies in fantasy football are a tricky proposition. Top picks play for terrible teams, no-names land in great situations, and each of them is being lectured by Pacman Jones at the Rookie Symposium, so all bets are off. If you’re in a keeper or dynasty league, then talent is usually more important than situation, but […]

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