Dear Running Backs,
What the hell is going on? Seriously guys, not only are you getting injured at an alarming rate, but your off the field antics are ridiculous, and not ridiculous in a Dennis Rodman fun idiot kind of way. Let’s take a minute to reflect. More than likely we the fantasy football collective will be without Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice, Jamaal Charles (maybe not), Ryan Matthews, Mark Ingram, Knowshon Moreno, Doug Martin and Jonathan Dwyer for several weeks. Oh okay, yeah, no one cares about Jonathan Dwyer, but you get my point. That’s seven starting running backs and we’re only two weeks into the season. Early in the fantasy baseball season we talked about the closerpocalypse well this is the runningbackalypse. I fully expect another three to be injured and Matt Forte to be found out as the real life Buffalo Bill by the time this blog posts. It’s been that kind of year. As corny dancehall reggae artist Elephant Man would say ju-kno! Well I guess the silver lining is there were plenty of intriguing handcuffs promoted to starter in the last week. Some are temporary, others could be more permanent, and some tried to get in on the runningbackalypse. Either way here are the ones to keep an eye on.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the Handcuff Report, 2014 primer. The Almighty J-FOH has bestowed upon me the honor of keeping you knuckleheads up to date on the latest NFL arrests, felonies, and misdemeanors. If Steven Ridley and Shane Vereen are smoking weed in a Pontiac Firebird, we’ll be there. If  Titus Young finds his way back into the league, we’ll be there. If Golden Tate decides to steal maple bars from a Detroit bakery, we’ll be there. You get the point…. Wait.?!?! That’s not what this post covers?…. It’s about running back committee’s? …Hmmm I don’t think that’s right. Jay, I think we have a problem…..I had 1,300 words about Ray Rice, Josh Gordon, Le’veon Bell, and LeGarrette Blount. It seemed reasonable, there are a lot of arrests, and they do in fact impact our rosters. But okay… I got it now, you meant handcuff in a less literal sense. Oops! Welp, time to refocus. I guess instead I’ll be discussing the ever evolving Running Back committee situations around the league. For today and at least the first few weeks of the season, I’ll be providing a list of depth charts and commenting on the situations I feel need to be covered. In other words I’ll be spending less time on teams like the Vikings, Bears, or Seahawks and more time on teams like the Lions, Falcons, and Dolphins. As the season progresses, I’ll probably switch to more of a “handcuffs to watch format”, where I’ll cover a handful of backs with expanding roles. But who knows, we’ll see, you guys can tell me in the comments if you like the depth chart rankings. I’m cool with that. After today I will be sticking with the tried and true tiered approach (say that three times fast Micro Machine Man) and the tier names that J-FOH had last year, because what else is there outside of Fuzzy, Standard Issue Police, and Duct taped handcuffs? That pretty much covers the handcuff gamut. No??? Are there other varieties besides the ones covered?  Like those weird plastic ones, that cops use, maybe? Did you notice I said “cops use”… do you know why? Because Standard Issue Police That’s Why!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

Come on refs, you’re usually with us on this…

Football finally happened folks. Let’s have some cake. OR watch the first two touchdowns of the season go to no one fantasy relevant. Yeah, you’re right. Let’s have cake instead. So yup, the season opener… It wasn’t that bad. I will say this- it is definitely the “traditional start” to the season… both elevated and dashed hopes, plenty of derpiness, and wild, crazy rethinking of fantasy players.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

arizona-cardinals-12quot-plush-mascot

For a sixth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing NFL-team blogs for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team for our Team Preview Series through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Alex Mann from the leading Arizona Cardinals blog: Revenge of the Birds.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, here we go. What? You didn’t get enough Jackie Battle news this past week? What about Tony Fiammetta? Breaking! I just signed Terrell Owens, and all it cost me was a Subway Tuna sandwich. Yeah, I know I overpaid. But, to be fair, there wasn’t any mayo, so I had that going. But enough about me, let’s take a look at some of the key news that’s happened so far during free agency week, all through the fantasy football scope. That scope is real by the way. I’m serious. It has chrome plating and comes with a bottle-opener.

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Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. It’s been a few weeks, since I already skipped one post assignment… (Which I probably shouldn’t have, since the football gods gave me this ridiculous match-up to cover instead of the NFC West showdown last week. Which actually wasn’t much of a showdown when you think about it, so I guess there’s that.) So yeah, Chicago and Pittsburgh… Ugh. Can I just write about Breaking Bad instead Sky? Please? Sigh… So, how did I make a game like this watchable? That’s right folks, the answer lies in a newly created section for this series. (To go along with my score and a quick summary of the game, DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS, world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs, and a wonderful concluding thought.) And what’s that new section? Follow me after the jump and find out…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last time we talked about this conundrum I was telling you in my Updated Overall Rankings that I already had Le’Veon Bell pretty low in my rankings and without any more clear cut news about what kind of time he’d miss, I had a hard time moving him down from what was already considered a low RB26. Amazing how two days can change things, eh? I haven’t moved him down my list yet – I figure it would be good to see how many other injuries happen this weekend for preseason week 3 before I proceed and see who performs best amongst his backups – but he’s being said to have a lisfranc injury. They say he’ll be out only 6-8 weeks. I’m thinking back to MJD last year and wondering how much I believe in that 6 or that 8. Granted, the Jags weren’t playing for anything but there were always hopes/rumors he’d come back in season and he never did, though his injury was much later in the year. All this to say, a lot can happen over those 6 to 8 to 10 to…ok, ok a lot can happen over those weeks. Maybe he loses his starting role. Maybe the Steelers look so far out of contention that they want him at 100% before he comes out and decide to shut him down for this rookie year to preserve him. Maybe when he comes back, it becomes a 3 to 4 ring circus of RBs in that Steelers backfield and you’re left wondering what to do with him. As a whole, I’m only a buyer if he goes on IR and my league has an IR spot. It’s the only way to ensure he’s worth the headache at this point. Anyways, here’s what other news I’m hearing on the grapevine for 2013 Fantasy Football…and here we are again. I’ll keep telling you until you do it! Go join/commish a Razzball Commenter League! The life of your family depends on it! Not really! I don’t know why I’m shouting anymore! But please make/join a league! Ok, let’s move on!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For a fourth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing local NFL beat writers for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Neal Coolong from leading Pittsburgh Steelers blog Behind the Steel Curtain:

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Judge…audience…people of the jury. What we have here today in front of us is a case so vile…so heinous…so uncomfortably dramatized by the writer that we must bring it to light so that others might find a way to ease this poor man’s suffering. BenJarvus Green-Ellis has been a stand-up RB2 for most of the year and his efforts have gone virtually ignored. For every bright and shiny new running back toy we’ve found on the waiver wire, whether it was Bryce Brown or David Wilson, BJGE has been the rock that has guided his team to glory and what has he been given? Has he received recognition? Has he received acceptance? Does he even receive many lede paragraphs? No! He goes about his business every week just like he did this week with 106 yards and a touchdown on 25 carries to go over 100 yards rushing for the 4th time in 5 weeks. Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I ask you, are those the numbers of a man who deserves such disregard? If he were on your fantasy football team would you simply say ‘yeah, I benched him for Jonathan Dwyer this week, so what?’. No, it’s high time we realize that Green-Ellis has been one of the most consistent backs to own this year and sing his praises. And with that, the defense rests *Que good ‘ole Eric Clapton guitarin*. Ok, that was fun now back to real fantasy talk. I almost wrote a sleeper post about him in the off-season but got scared when I heard Bernard Scott would split touches with him. I like my backs to be masters of their backfield domain and I rarely buy into the 50/50 or 60/40 splits if they’re announced ahead of time. Coming into Thursday Night Football, BJGE was on the cusp of RB1 territory with the 14th most points by a Running Back on the season in PPR formats and has been the 7th best back in the same setting over the last 4 weeks. Now I’m not telling you it’s been beautiful. Far from it. There were some rough weeks to start the year but those are all in the past now. The Law Firm has been true to his moniker: fair, just and insanely boring unless you dramatize the crap out of it a la Dick Wolf. In other 2012 fantasy football news from Thursday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?