Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of Deep Impact! Before jumping into the football let me begin this by saying: Cubs? Cubs. Cubs! You don’t need to be a diehard baseball fan to appreciate how amazing that Game 7 was, even if you take away the history of each franchise. And when you add in breaking the 108-year drought? Man, just thinking about all those 90-year-olds in Chicago-area nursing homes who had the sweetest, most joyous celebratory sex of their lives that night, it makes me want to vomit. But, you know, in a happy and heartwarming way. Anyways, back to the regularly scheduled fantasy football. For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is our weekly dive into the free agent pool scrounging for players less than 10% owned for deep leaguers desperate for Week 9 starts. In keeping with my weekly tradition, I will break my own defined threshold because I am a rebel who cannot be constrained by the rules of society. Unless there are any real consequences for breaking the rules, in which case I tend to just be a good boy and fall in line.
Please, blog, may I have some more?