Did you see that? Did you like what I did there? I used Payoff instead of Playoff as a means to be PUNy. *squeezes horn* Yeah, I’m not very funny, the baby’s mama said most people laugh at me instead of with me. Funny I never got that til I met Sky a couple months back. I’m also not very happy right now. I have missed the playoffs almost everywhere, have tried kicking out the stool about a half dozen times and have also drank enough tequila to get the city of Guadalajara drunk. But hey, my therapist says I need to be more optimistic, so I fired him. Why be happy for myself when I can instead be happy for all 12 of you and hopefully help you to playoff gold. My only way to a championship is by living vicariously through my 12 readers. I love you 11 guys and Prezzi. So here’s what were doing here. I’m giving you names to stash, like I did two weeks ago, in the hope they get some play in week 16 or 17 because their teams (real life) are playoff bound and don’t want to injure the starter or are auditioning for next years production of football. To see my last list click here

Here’s how it works:

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Dedication. Devotion. Turning all the night time into the day. You hear that sweet little synth riff yet? No? How about the jangly blues guitar faintly being played underneath it…no? Hrm, what can I say, I tried. I’m guessing none of you will get the song which is fine. Not the finest work by those guys but the first person who can give me the name of the song and the band wins…well nothing. You googled it, cheater! Well, it’s a major bye week full of bad matchups for RBs and great matchups for WRs. So good, in fact, a guy that might not even be owned in your league in Jarrett Boykin could return a WR1 value on the week. I follow him up with Terrance Williams playing against a Detroit secondary that loves to give the secondary WR in any offense a good day. I think Greg Jennings has a ‘see what you guys are missing?’ day against his former team mates as the Vikings lose 47-10 but he had a great day so that’s all that matters, right? In other news, I haven’t given up on Andre Ellington. Hopefully Arians hasn’t either…especially without some kind of explanation. Maybe he’ll figure out throwing to the running back on screens will relieve the pressure on a beleaguered o-line and give Palmer some breathing room for those deep pass plays. I know, I know: crazy talk. It’s gonna be a weird week in ATL until we know more about their RB situation. Yahoo’s already annointing SJax the starter via their projections but he just started practicing on Wednesday…yeah, ok. That would be pretty weird for a guy who supposedly had a setback just a week ago. Well, whatever, I’m keeping my expectations on all of them low for now until I hear more news and strongly suggest the same for you. Nice possible cheap ‘this game is a blow out, here come the reserves’ RBs to throw at you would be Turbin and Hunter. Oh, and check down master Jason Campbell mutes Gordon a bit this week and increases the likelihood that the Ogre – Ogbonnaya – gets a lot of worthless checkdowns, making him flex-worthy in my book. And as always, my kickers were selected by a highly scientific process of trying to burp all the state names. Hrm…that’s not really scientific…nor does it really do anything. Yeah, they’re still kickers. But enough of that, on with the show. Here’s week 8’s rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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With the first week of playoffs in the books for most leagues, it’s rare that contending teams need a ton of help on the Waiver Wire. Your roster is set, and you don’t want to complicate things by creating unnecessary decisions. After all, there’s nothing worse than losing a close playoff matchup by making the […]

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In re-draft leagues, odds are that your league’s trade deadline has already passed, but in dynasty and keeper leagues, most trade deadlines are later in the year. I’m a big proponent of this, as it allows bottom-dwelling teams to sell of their top talent to playoff contenders in exchange for high-upside keepers or future draft […]

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Typically here is where I say ‘Don’t Buy The Hype’.  You all know that who read here.  Heck, read yesterday’s post about Justin Blackmon and realize I’m more Negative Nelly than Positive Peggy most times after a big game.  But tonight’s game was different in my eyes.  Though it’s true Alex Smith has had good […]

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The Arizona Cardinals must’ve got a clean bill of health from their last visit to the clinic.  So clean, they went out of there way to avoid Michael Crabtree every time he caught the ball.  Michael went for 72 yards and two touchdowns on 5 receptions during a night in which I saw more fumbled […]

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It’s that time of year – where your fantasy studs have a week off and you’re stuck scouring the wire starting someone you’ve barely seen any Sportscenter highlights on. With the Raiders, Buccaneers, Cowboys, and Lions (oh my!) on bye this week, the fantasy pangs of desperation are slowly creeping in.  Hey, at least Tony […]

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There are literally thousands of sources of rankings, sleepers, busts, breakouts, and burnouts on the internet. The vast majority of them will be focusing on 10-team leagues with the “standard” roster setup of the site in question. But who are they to say what’s standard in the fully customizable world of fantasy football? If you’re […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?