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If your Week 2 was anything like what fans of Baltimore, Cleveland, and Las Vegas experienced, then you’re waking up on Tuesday in the depths of despair. Fortunately, the season is young and there’s plenty of time to right the ship once the page is turned. Unfortunately, the waiver wire isn’t all that enticing this week, and there’s an armadillo turning my backyard into the next Holes remake. However, if you’re a relentless quarterback streamer or in a two-QB league, there are some intriguing options for you this week — not to mention some serious finds at the wide receiver position should your league mates not have gobbled them up yet. If you’re in a waiver order-based league and not in dire need, this is a week to stand as firm as Snoop Dogg’s buttcheeks in the TSA line. In deeper formats and leagues utilizing FAAB, proceed with caution. I wouldn’t use more than 15-20% on even the top names listed, although you could validate up to 25-30% if you’re so desperate your season-long competitiveness calls for it. Hopefully, you’re not in that position this early. Onward we go!

Please, blog, may I have some more?