Greetings!!! Week two was hella crazy, ya’ll; Adrian Peterson suspended for child endangerment, A.J. Green going down with a toe injury before making a single reception, and Jake Locker being beyond atrocious. Okay, well, maybe that last one wasn’t so shocking… but every soul on earth other than the legendary, Jay(Wrong), had Locker going HAM and eggs on the what was supposed to be pathetic defense of the Dallas Cowboys. Thinking about the once salivating thought of Locker to Justin Hunter, now sickens me beyond a level I believed only possible in the depths of Hades. More on these two bricks, later. My first four picks in my highest money league were as follows: Peterson, Alshon Jeffery, Andre Ellington, and Rob Gronkowski. Needless to say, I’m 0-2 and almost b*tch slapped my chicken out of anger. But then, I thought of Michael Vick, Ray Rice, Da Kraken, and the aforementioned AP, and decided to instead, hug my chicken, Beatrice, for love is the answer ya’ll. I’m Tehol Beddict, the only former-male thong model in history to be published in any form of sports writing, and this is, Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My buzz is crazy in the hood, they holler my name. If it ain’t about the writing, it’s about the stones and the wang. Greetings! Tis I, your beloved Tehol Beddict, returning yet again to give you a rundown on this past week’s targets and touches that stood out in this mind of mine that’s been referred to as beautiful, a la John Nash. I haven’t yet received my Nobel Prize but one day, with your continued support and recognition, that day will surely come. I know what you’re thinking; ” In comparing Antonio Brown to Liberace, Beddict is saying Brown went balls deep into a plethora of young men who are employed by the Chicago Bears.” Come on now people. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m simply referring to the flash and pizazz Brown displayed in making one incredible play after another against the highly rated Bears secondary. What Brown does off the field is none of my business. Brown exploded with 9 receptions for 196 yards and 2 TD’s on 13 targets. Now, we’ve all been waiting for Brown to explode like a lactose intolerant Rosie O’Donnell after a 31 flavors binge, and he rewarded his owners in an extreme manner. Brown is far and away the superior wideout on Pittsburgh and I expect him to average around 100 yards receiving for the remainder of the season. If you want to disagree with me, go ahead. Just be aware that I may go Liberace on you and I’m not talking speaking of flash and pizazz if you catch my drift. Here’s what else caught my lovely eyes this past weekend. Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?