Greeting and salutations! Tis I, Beddict, back from a Thanksgiving vacation full of oiled up women and turkey basters galore. I come to you rejuvenated and ready to finish the season strong. I missed my 2nd lock of the week two weeks ago with Minnesota back-dooring me at home against Green Bay, and I’m just now getting over the burning sensation in my soul that makes the savage sting from a Portuguese man o’ war seem like a nip from a 15-year-old, toothless Beagle.

I sort of made up for it with a 5-0 week during my vacation. Did that pay for my mortgage for a year or just erase my debt to the Russian Mob? I’ll never tell. The quest for the perfect week continues… I suppose I was perfect last week but that wasn’t my usual full slate of games. I’m not one to look for the easy way out… unless of course I’m locked in Sky’s basement again. In that case, I’ll always take the easy way out, for that was one of the most trying and terrifying moments of my life. Let’s get on with it before I have to blow another six figures on my therapist.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, we had another exciting week in fantasy football. HAHAHA. Yeah… so… how about those Olympics? The football off-season actually has been pretty eventful and full of storylines now just a few weeks in. We’re going to have our first openly-gay football player next season. Awesome. Incognito and Martin got into a Twitter slap-fight. Good times. Ed Reed had $50k stolen out of his car. That’s totally not shady. John Elway aka Secretariat got extended for three more years, but more importantly, was officially given the title of GM. When asked if he would be okay with a two-year extension, reports were that John Elway said “Neigh!”. I wonder though, will he get is pay-raise in chaff and carrots? Anyhow, I guess the roundabout route I’m taking here is to let you know there’s plenty to talk about. Making it relevant to fantasy football, well, now that’s the hard part.

Please, blog, may I have some more?