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If you have spent any time reading this column, you know that it has been a tough year for the NFL’s Thursday Night Football. Luckily, that all changed this week thanks in part to the uber-talented rosters of the Atlanta Falcons and Carolina Panthers going head-to-head. There’s not much that gets a football fan’s blood boiling more than a querterback showdown of Marcus Mariota and PJ Walker, and running back rooms fronted by Cordarrelle Patterson and D’Onta Foreman. Add in five field goals in four quarters and you’ve got yourself an instant classic on primetime TV. Now, this wasn’t the worst game of the season, not by any stretch of the imaginiation. But top fantasy options like Patterson (2.5 half-PPR points), Kyle Pitts (3.8 points) and DJ Moore (4.9 points) all crapped the bed, while Foreman (19.0 points), Laviska Shenault (13.4 points) and Drake London (12.3 points) shined to varying degrees. Safe to say, this was not a joyous day for most fantasy owners. Memes portraying Mariota as a trash can in a squad car have surfaced, which is honestly an insult to garbage disposal devices everywhere. This game was really between the Splatlanta Fartcons and the Terdalina Pantnerds. And yes, that is really the best I could come up with. It’s clearly time for some deep introspection. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?