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Now, back to your regular scheduled programming…

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Do you guys remember Gary Barnidge? I was just combing through the depths of Fantasy Pros tight end results from recent seasons and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that he finished as the third overall tight end in 2015. My writing time in the evening is very valuable. I need to use every minute to the best of my ability after working 10-hour days Monday-Friday at my full-time gig. But, I just spent about 20 minutes trying to find out what the hell happened to Gary Barnidge and where he went. It’s no wonder I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder as a child, right?

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Have you ever shared custody of a dog with an ex-spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Prayfully not, my goodmen, but surely you know some poor sod who takes part in this sad and pathetic lifestyle, someone you look down upon with shame as if they were a lower form of human life. As if they, well, you know, thought sharing a dog with an ex was a solid idea. If you didn’t know someone before, you do now!! ME, Beddict, former Commander and Chief of the Players club, himself, somehow buried in this game like a rotting  casket. How did we (me) get here? There is not enough battery left in my MacBook Air (Lap top in laymen terms), to tell that tale, and thank the Elders for that, but I’ll whack ya with a few deets, just in case you want to get your beak wet…..I don’t even know what that means. 

Anyway, I have five dogs total, two with my ex in Seattle, and three with my last girlfriend in New Orleans. NOLA won’t actually speak to me, either because she despises me, that or she’s being respectful to her strange new emo- King Fiancé. All I know, is that when I stalk her Instagram every night, I NEVER SEE MY BABY JILLIAN!!! I see the other two angels, but little Jillie bean is nowhere in sight…Hmmmm, anyway, I HAD five dogs scattered across the country like dust in the wind, six if you count the dog that was mine that I gave to my Mom 14 years ago. He was so handsome, I say, “WAS,” for he was tragically killed three weeks ago, ON MY BIRTHDAY, ruining my day and in a way, my life. So I suppose we’re back to five, four if Jillian is no longer among the breathing. This led to my first ex sweetly offering to “ALLOW” me to see our two dogs for a week or so, since she felt so awful about Q-ball being run over on my birthday and all. We weren’t on speaking terms so I thought this to be a truly grand gesture of kindness………Alas, life only allows pleasant emotions for short periods of time before ripping them out with rusty machete. One week turned into 10 days, and it also turned out that she was getting married and just had nowhere else to leave the dogs since they’re too old to be left at any kennel. Married to the friend zone king who had stalked her our entire relationship, you know the type. Shit, some of you probably are the type. For me to properly draft the proper amount of ratchetness involved would take the last remaining splinters of my soul, and that, guys/gals, is too much to ask. Even of me. 

What am I going on about? This is a fantasy sports website. But isn’t that why you love (Despise) me? Below are my thoughts on this past week’s NFL games. Take heed!

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Readers, I am a hot little potato this morning. I decided to dabble in a little offshore gambling this past weekend as I sometimes do. You know what? My day was going pretty well. The Panthers covered in a pretty worry-free affair. The Cardinals marched down and scored a game winning touchdown on the final drive. I’m sitting at 2-0 thinking that there is no way that I am getting to 3-0 because I laid 7.5 points and took the Rams. All of a sudden, the Packers fumble the kick off with two minutes to go in the fourth quarter. I have life! The Rams have the ball at the 20 and the best running back in football. The Packers best chance of getting the ball back is letting Gurley walk in the end zone and hope for a missed extra point. 

The first two plays were dumb reverses and now all of a sudden, it is 3rd down with just under a minute to go. The Rams snap it and toss the ball to Todd Gurley with blockers ahead of him. Gurley busts through the first ten yards, the play is looking good. Gurley is outrunning everybody and has a clear path to the end zone that he makes 10 out of 10 times. He stops. Right at the damn 5 or so yard line. My heart sinks. It’s the smartest football play he could’ve made. But C’MON GURLEY! Pad those stats and pad my wallet in the process. Team players aren’t good for fantasy or gambling, folks. I’ll take my fury out on these game review takes. 

Be sure to check out our most popular tool, the trade analyzer. You like to trade? Rudy would love to help! It’s free, comprehensive, and simple to use. 

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I have witnessed one of the worst overtime games that I have ever seen. There was an interception, a fumbled punt, and a coach that doesn’t know the overtime rules. Jameis Winston threw an interception in Tampa Bay territory leaving the Browns with only about 15 yards to gain to give them a shot at a game-winning field goal. Tampa Bay held strong on defense and forced a punt. Jameis Winston then puts together a terrible 3 and out. Tampa punts the ball and strips Jabrill Peppers leaving the Buccaneers with the ball right around mid field. Jameis is able to complete a pass to DeSean Jackson to get inside the 40 setting up a 59-yard field goal attempt from a kicker who previously missed an extra point and a 40 yard field goal to win the game in regulation. One would think the Buccaneers coaching staff would go for it on 4th and long because the chances of Catanzaro making this kick are slim to none. NO! KICK IT! They did… He made it… What is life? Let’s get to some individual player tidbits from that dumb game.

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Chris Godwin (vs CLE): All Chris Godwin has done is catch a TD in 4 of his 5 games this season and netted 13 points or more in all 4 of those games. There are a lot of hungry mouths in the Bucs receiving game, but with Jameis Winston back in the fold I can see all those baby birds getting fed by mama Winston especially against a Browns team that has surrendered the 5th most receiving yards.

O.J. Howard (vs CLE): Another mouth to feed in Tampa Bay? Yea, but Howard was well fed even before Winston’s return. In his last three games played he’s had 18 fantasy points, 13 fantasy points and 16 fantasy points respectively. Howard will continue to gobble up a decent amount of targets even against a Browns secondary that has been a little stingy to opposing TEs. Should I end this eating analogy now? OM NOM NOM!

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We have a London game! It should mean earlier football but instead it is the same time as the other early games but unfortunately the NFL is putting this game at noon as well. We all will have to wait another week to get a bonus 3 and a half hours of football. Speaking of London, apparently the Jaguars becoming London’s official team is closer to becoming a reality according to their ownership. That seems like nothing but a sh*tshow. Jacksonville finally has a competitor to root for and NOW it’s time for this. Khan wants to keep the team based in Jacksonville while playing some or most of their home games at Wembley stadium. Who would want to sign there? That’s taking away a lot of what home field advantage has to offer. Does Blake Bortles really play that much better overseas? But, if we can get more 8:30 games I might not complain that much. 

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