In a move that’s sure not to make people forget that Ray Rice uppercut (what normal-sized people would refer just simply as ‘punched’) his wife and could only carry her a few yards (just like a football, how cute!), the Ravens reached a five-year deal worth $32 million with tight end Dennis Pitta. In a news conference later today, the deal will be¬†officially announced, which I’m sure beats having a news conference about having an alleged wife-beater on your team. HAHA get it? Ehh…

Please, blog, may I have some more?