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Greetings! Oh ye followers of the Lord, I humbly summon you to partake in a birthday celebration fit for… fit for… well, a Lord. Tis my birthday on Thursday, and myself and the Lord’s keeper (Jay-Wrong) will be guzzling absinthe by the gallon while we watch Lord Grey Albright and Ralph Lifshitz joust to the death. I must mention the fact that Lord Grey is our liege Lord and his death can simply not be allowed. Therefore, Prospector Ralph must take one for the team. He will be deeply missed, and by deeply I mean that I will piss on his ashes and move his wench into my private quarters for a few months and add his children to my service staff. Spotted d*ck and rhinoceros steak sandwiches will be served for all of those interested in joining. Jay and I are both turning 25 this year [Jay’s Note: Haha.], and though we’ve accomplished so many tremendous things in our lives thus far, I see an even brighter future upon the horizon. Our partnership has become stronger than that of Siegfried and Roy as we continue to master fantasy football together as one. Let’s just pray neither of us is mauled by a Tiger. [Jay’s Note: Amen brotha…]

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

WHAT. A. GAME. And while those Tampa Bay Buccaneers jerseys will never not be ugly, I want to establish that out of the two statements I just made, only one was leaking sarcasm… and I’ll let you figure out which one. Honestly, at what point should the NFL stop serving endless vodka with a heaping side of cocaine when they’re picking matchups for Monday and Thursday night? In a game that featured what seemed like six hours of tied football when Roberto Aguayo wasn’t missing and making field goals in sequential order (because that’s what you want from a field goal kicker) I don’t think we learned much. I mean, except for the fact that Derek Anderson is the consummate professional. He’d been out of the starting role for how many decades now? And as you can see above, he was instantly back to form. Our national nightmare is over everyone, the epoch of Derek Anderson has begun. Again.

Please, blog, may I have some more?