What’s the difference between Jon Gruden in September and an overripe California-grown tomato? The tomato doesn’t have to put up with Mark Davis for the next seven years, who, coincidentally (or not?), also looks like an overripe tomato — except Davis does for all 12 months of the year. For Gruden, it’s just about a two-month sweet spot, and who can blame him for wanting to get his bronze on to complete that irresistible visor look? From the TV, he looks like he’s yap-yap-yapping from the first whistle to the last, the same way Pete Carroll is chomping at the bit from the moment he comes out of the tunnel.

Both Carroll and Gruden have attractive fantasy running backs at their disposal as they prepare week after week in the form of Chris Carson and Josh Jacobs. They also appear to be staring at pretty hefty fines from the league office after looking somewhat lax with their mask usage during gameplay on Sunday and Monday. No matter how you spin it, the NFL was hit with a plethora of unfortunate story lines in Week 2, with stars on both sides of the ball doing down with seemingly every ailment underneath the moon. That makes my job entering Week 3 of the season as difficult as it’s going to get (*knock on wood, although Gruden’s mid-section as of late Monday night would suffice*), so let’s fast-forward through the pleasantries and get to the ever-controversial top 60 ROS running back rankings. First, let’s take a quick trip around the league via some player news and updates.

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We take a half time break from Monday Night Football as B_Don and Donkey Teeth are joined by the great Rudy Gamble to talk about the fantasy hangover that was week 2. We start with the elite RBs that went down in Saquon Barkley and Christian McCaffrey. We discuss their replacements and how much fantasy value we expect them to provide. 

We walk through the Chargers week 2 situation between Joshua Kelley taking carries and Justin Herbert getting the start. The Broncos offense could look different with a backup QB and sans Courtland Sutton. Rudy has some thoughts on how the offenses may vary if it’s Herbert or Tyrod starting in the coming weeks. 

We wrap up the show with some waiver wire adds for each position that we like for your week 3 help. 

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Who does week #2 work for? If you own any fantasy football players, then probably not you. That’s because everyone got injured on Sunday. Here’s a list of all the players who didn’t get hurt in week 2:

1. Frank Gore

2. Cal Ripkin

3. Hingle McCringleberry

I’ll have the interns fact check that list, but I’m pretty sure it’s accurate and complete. Some of the big name players affected by the week two injuryocolypse, include Christian McCaffrey, Raheem Mostert, Cam Akers, Davante Adams, Courtland Sutton, Will Fuller, Sterling Shepard, Breshad Perriman,  Jimmy Garoppolo, Drew Lock and Nick Bosa. But the biggest fantasy news of the day was Saquon Barkley who took 4 carries for 28 yards before being carted off with a knee injury. The Giants fear the worst: a torn ACL. This is terrible, everyone assemble the prayer octagon for Saquon. If the unthinkable is true, Dion Lewis (10 carries for 20 yards, 4 catches for 36 yards and his 1st touchdown) appears to be the next man up, but the never exciting Wayne Gallman (did not play) is still in the mix. Also, Devonta Freeman is now sleeping outside Giants’ headquarters waiting for the call. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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As the final night of Week 1 of the 2020 NFL season winds to a close, I find myself updating Razzball’s top 60 running back rankings with some unusual sights dancing in front of my eyes. Stephen Gostkowski has missed three kicks and a field goal, Noah Fant looked like the best player on the field in the first half, Corey Davis is shredding the Broncos defense and my dog is licking his butt in the corner of the room as I scream about all of these things. Also on Monday were some unusual running back performances, highlighted by Saquon Barkley’s six-yard game on the ground and a breakout day for Benny Snell of Pittsburgh. Oddly enough, it looked for a little while like we really might see a 50-50 workload split in Denver before Melvin Gordon took over in the fourth quarter. If you’re already losing your mind over realities such as these, it might be a long 16 weeks to follow for you. On the plus side, we’re here to help you navigate the rest of the way with your running backs, as the weekly top 60 picks back up today with some drastic changes including some movement inside the top 10. First, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

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Two days, football fans! Two days! That means the 2020 NFL Season will be upon us in a smaller span of time than your average game of cricket. Quicker than your seven round NFL Draft. And much faster than it takes Kirk Cousins to get rid of the ball on a typical pass play. Just two days and we’ll have NFL football. Two days until you get to turn months of research and late-night draft parties into something that actually matters as all the projection slowly turns into production. Today, we’ll begin with the former as I reveal my top 60 running backs heading into week one of the 2020 season. As a general baseline, I’ll be using half-PPR scoring for these rankings. Moving forward, I will continuously update these 60 backs on a weekly basis to provide an up-to-date snapshot at the top options at the position moving forward. Before we get into the actual rankings, here are some highlights from the opening list.

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back to discuss DT’s redraft RB rankings, top 10 and top 20. We start at the top with some tier talk among the elite RBs. Then, we get into where DT’s ranks diverge from the consensus with Austin Ekeler, Kenyan Drake, and Miles Sanders. We’re both higher on Leonard Fournette, and DT explains why he’s so high on Le’veon Bell. We wrap up with some Derrick Henry and David Johnson discussion where B_Don tries to talk DT into Henry and out of DJ. 

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When Scott Fish personally reached out to me (that didn’t happen) and begged me to participate in SFBX (also didn’t happen) to raise money for his Fantasy Cares charity, I reluctantly joined to help the kids. If you aren’t familiar with the Scott Fish Bowl, it’s the fantasy football equivalent of Burning Man. With a field of 1,440 participants, most of whom are in the fantasy football industry, some call it the greatest fantasy football competition in the universe. The Razzball camp was lit for this event: B_Don was handing out the experimental drugs, MB was twirling fire sticks, Rudy was waxing poetic about his 2020 fantasy football projections and The Boof was boofing anything and everything he could find to boof. And he found plenty to boof. All the while I sat in the corner whispering sweet dick jokes to my beloved Kerryon Johnson fathead. After making the SFB playoffs last year and then getting demolished in the first round, Kerryon and I were laser focused for this year’s draft. Without further ado, here’s the recap of my 2020 Scott Fish Bowl Draft out of the #2 slot (see the full draft board here):

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The great part of the mid to late rounds of a normal 10-12 team fantasy football draft is how badly you can miss on a few picks and still be fine. How you play the waiver wire is a big contributor to your success so you can afford to take big swings on “your guys”. I don’t think that there was a league last year that I drafted in August that didn’t have Darwin Thompson on it. Another player that I was heavily invested in was Curtis Samuel. Neither one of those players lived up to the expectations that I had for them, but it didn’t matter because I built strong cores and was active on the waiver wire. 

There are too many variables in fantasy football to NOT take shots on high upside guys that could be league winners. And a lot of these players have yet to prove themselves in a 16-game sample size. There’s always going to be the D.J. Chark’s and Terry McLaurin’s that you can find on the wire that literally everyone overlooks. Knowing this, I’m going to be loading up on Darius Slayton in the 9th-10th rounds of fantasy drafts this year. 

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Have you ever seen the show Alone on the History Channel? It’s a wilderness competition to see which contestant is able survive the longest in severe climates with no food and very few supplies. There’s no camera crew, each contest is responsible for filming all their own footage so they’re legit alone out there. A new season just started and *spoiler alert* one of the guys found an old boat which he repurposed into a hot tub by filling it with water and starting a fire underneath the hull. Man’s genius knows no bounds. Point of this tangent is I’m that guy. I’m out here alone in cold, ranking Austin Ekeler, Miles Sanders and Kenyan Drake acres ahead of the rest of the fantasy world. It’s alright though, I’m chilling over here in my homemade boat tub sipping on some juniper tea. Anyway, I went over most of these guys in my overall top 10 for 2020 fantasy football, but I won’t make you click—only click if you really want more nonsense—because here’s my top 10 running backs for 2020 PPR fantasy football with projections:

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The build up to the 2020 NFL Draft was like waiting for Christmas morning as a child, the release of Game of Thrones Season 8 as an adult and the return of Taco Bell’s Nacho Fries as a stoner, all at once. But alas the excitement of the draft has come and gone. Giants fans were left wondering what might have been if their GM figured out how to use a computer, Bears fans were left wondering what it feels like to make a good draft pick and fantasy football fans were left wondering when Donkey Teeth’s 2020 fantasy football rankings would be released. Sorry Giants and fellow Bears fans, I have no answers for you, but fantasy fans you’re in luck. It’s redraft rankings season! All of my 2020 dynasty football rankings have already been released, dissected and judged as terribly inadequate. Anyway, here’s my top 10 for 2020 fantasy football:

Just kidding! Tricked you again! First, I’m contractually obligated to plug my wildly popular new YouTube show called Fantasy Football Malpractice with myself (Dr. Donkey Teeth) and The Boof. Episode two was released earlier this week where we discuss NFL in the COVID Era, drafting for upside and some of our worst takes from 2019. Watch, subscribe, comment and click that thumbs up dealie if you don’t hate us too much!

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