SNF, Week 7: 49ers vs. Broncos

If I could describe this game in two words, they would be: Brett Favre. Or, as some pronounce it: Brett Fahhhhhhrvve. And if I could describe this game with more than two words, it would just be Brett Favre typed out a bunch of times. You should actually thank me, as I’m preparing you mentally for what will be a barrage of Peyton Manning/Brett Favre comparisons, graphics, anecdotes, and overall jaw stretching for those two quarterbacks during Sunday Night Football. If you were buried under a rock all weekend (which, if you were, maybe stay there?), you should know that Peyton Manning is just two touchdown passes away from matching the aforementioned Brett Favre for the NFL record. In what should be a pretty entertaining game, two of the winningest (is that a word?) teams since 2012 will face off, only be to overshadowed by a retired player who sends d*ck pics to ask women out. Why not just stick to trying to sell them your jeans? The 49ers have surprisingly and quietly won three straight after starting the season exactly how Seattle appears to be ending it, including a season-high 432 offensive yards against the Rams. Then again, it was against the Rams… who actually beat Seattle earlier today, so really, I have no idea what to think of the NFC West anymore. It’s weird.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SNF, Week 6: Giants vs. Eagles

by: Jay

This seems like a match-up made more for Thursday Night Football, in that, the potential derp is strong with this game… but people forget Sunday Night Football derp can be equally as, if not more entertaining. TNF merely adopted the derp; SNF was born in it, molded by it. Clearly, the New York Giants offense is improving on a week-by-week basis, with Eli Manning not looking this good since the epoch of Coughlin face being level 8 red. Not the level 18 it is lately. Much of that credit goes to Ben McAdoo, despite having the name: Ben McAdoo. The Eagles are 4-1, but have looked inconsistently innovative. Also, Riley Cooper still looks like a racist. And, if you want my fair analysis, it’s my expert opinion that both those issues can be blamed on Nick Foles, who, coming off such a robust 2013 27 touchdown performance, has regressed a bit this season. (I’m kidding, it’s not really his fault. The tempo clock is probably it.) But that’s okay, because LeSean McCoy has already dried up my tear ducts and is now on pace for producing that ever elusive ulcer WebMD has been warning me about since college. But if there’s one thing for certain, a NFC East prime-time game is always historic. Not moon-landing historic… probably more Titanic historic here. So get your drinks and pastry snacks (AKA pizza) ready…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SNF, Week 5: Bengals vs. Patriots

October 5, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Gameday | 42 Comments

by: Jay

Just in time for tonight’s prime time festivities, there are reports surfacing like leaky submarines (stay with me here) that “tension” exists between Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. If by tension you mean “sh*tty quarterback play”, then yes, I can see that.

Two sources told ESPN that former rookie quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo was drafted as Brady’s successor and the move could happen “sooner than later.” No source suggested that “sooner” would mean a change during the 2014 season.

So the question here is, what the heck does “soon” mean then? Soon to me is, like, soon. Not 365 days from now. Let’s figure out what these words actually mean before using them, yes?

Cincinnati, who could arguably be one of the best teams so far, brings in a well-balanced offensive attack, despite all the gingerness, not to mention a physical defense that has helped generated the only undefeated team in the AFC. Then again, the Bengals have a propensity to lay down in meaningful games, but lucky for them, this isn’t the playoffs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?