Greetings! Your favorite fantasy writer’s favorite fantasy writer (shout out to Apache Kid) is officially back from the islands and fully prepared to drop Elder God-knowledge on the chosen few of you who consistently read my posts. I’d like to begin (I guess this isn’t technically the beginning), by apologizing for my single, brief post from last week. Right as I was beginning to outline my usual Saturday post, I received a carrier pigeon from Jay the Elder, demanding that I enjoy my vacation and not submit my Start/Sit column. I’m assuming it had to do with the gutter trash I turned in on Tuesday, but still, I’m grateful nonetheless. Oh, how I’ve missed this though! I will never schedule another vay-cay during football season ever again. Not to mention, you feel like a piece of rhino dung for sitting inside watching football when you’re in Maui, but I just can’t help myself. I love this game, my goodmen, and I let you down. NEVER AGAIN!

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

Join Jay and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings!!! Your boy, Beddict the Elder God chosen, has finally been given the blessed opportunity to compete with this great nation’s finest in putting out Fantasy Football Rankings. What difference does it make if 46 people had to quit for the legendary Jay to reach deeeeeeep into his bench to elevate me to this position of power? Did Doug Williams screw the pooch, or did he lead his team to glory in a time of need? Did Tom Brady shizz the bed, or did he become arguably the greatest quarterback of all time and marry arguably the world’s hottest woman? Yep, the Elders say I’m next to blow (blow up, not blow dong), and I for one trust in their judgement.

NFL training camps have started up, and I couldn’t be more excited if I was a middle-aged woman clawing my way to the front row of the latest Magic Mike flick, with the possibility of full frontal scene from Channing Tatum. Hey, the guy can move, ya’ll. With that being said, it’s time to dive in to my first set of rankings, showcasing the most exciting and probably most important position group… Kickers. Aaaaahkaaaay, that may not be true, but I’m still going to ask that you read. NFL offenses are on full tilt these days, spreading the field and chucking the rock, giving kickers more scoring opportunities than ever before, making what kicker you actually end up with even less important… Did I just contradict myself? Probably not the first time, but say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he admits his faults.

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?