Greetings! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, here to counsel you on how to handle bullying on the message board and point out some interesting targets and touches from this past week. Let’s begin with me admitting to be being guilty of the kind of verbal abuse on message boards that would make Richie Incognito seek Jesus. Sh!t down your throat? I’ll kill you? Rich please! These types of kindergarten threats should be handled immediately by responding with extreme prejudice. No, no , no! I don’t mean racially guys, geez! I’m speaking of the military term. Let’s try our best to leave racism out of this unless it’s downing white people as I’m totally fine with that.

Speaking of white people, let’s take a quick break and talk about the Oregon Clucks for a second. What an absolute disgrace they are. I was sitting front row at their National Title loss to Auburn and since that game they have choked each and every single year. The way they were humiliated by Stanford, home of pop-tart of the century, Jonathan Martin, made me physically ill. What a disgusting display of bummery. I am appalled and I’m sure Sky is becoming a Husky fan as we speak. Pathetic.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Sunday, Razzball Nation!  If you’re like me, waking up for Sunday during football season is a morning filled with hope, dreams, optimism.  Then you go nuts in your head thinking, “what if the Panthers actually do win?”  Then they just shellac the Giants, and I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone.  Maybe because I am a fantasy nerd (all people who put “expert” after fantasy in the terminology are kidding themselves – NERDS!!!), I sometimes dream about sports – and typically about vastly skewed numbers.  What, T.Y. Hilton got 223 Yards and 4 TDs?!  Something like that.  So while my Panthers put up a scoreline that I literally couldn’t even subconsciously comprehend, I had a fantasy team in my dynasty league put up the lowest score I’ve ever had in 10+ years.  It was like being a few levels deep in Inception.  I may never make it out alive!  Save me, Leo!  Save me!

Here’s to a week where things balance back out to normal, Roddy White getting over a bum ankle, Ray Rice being able to gut it out, and everything else fantasy owners need to right their sinking ships.

Please, blog, may I have some more?