Overall: 31-29-1, Week 5: 9-6-0.

Greetings!!! Welcome to another exciting edition of Betting With Beddict. We’re back over .500 with a 9-6 week!!! If you’d like to join Sky and I to celebrate, just meet us down in Tijuana, as we’re trying to hit every donkey show in the city. I sent Fantasy Football Hottie a first class plane ticket, but no word on if she’s joining us or not. Either way, you need to follow her on Twitter as she’s a total peach (whatever that means). My lock of the week, the Seattle Seahawks (7.5) barely covered, but hey, that’s gambling. If it wasn’t for Dallas and Chicago choking like Lisa Anne on an 18 incher, it’d been a day for the ages. I’ve been celebrating my birthday all week, so please excuse the lack of wordiness, humor and usual Tehol-ness (I’m sure you’re devastated. Especially Jay). Last week, one of my favorite commentators, Goodfold2, joined in on the fun just to see how difficult this truly is. Him and I both cordially challenge you to join in and see if you can defeat me week to week or even throughout the season. If someone dominates me for a month or even an entire season I MIGHT just hit you with a Razzball T-shirt, cuz we homies yo. Just remember, if sports betting were easy, everyone would do it. The quest for the perfect week continues so let’s get it poppin’.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Overall: 22-23-1, Week 4: 6-6-0.

Sorry to disappoint the millions of #Disgrace/Delight fans this week, but Beddict was moving from the “Beddict Penthouse” to “Beddict Manor”. With no internet, countless supplies to unpack, and a chicken coop for my baby, Beatrice, there was simply no time to put forth the proper effort into my Wednesday post. I was told the move would take three hours total… it took nine! Not even the Elder Gods could have foretold the savage beating my wallet endured. Kudos to those of you who are professional movers or have at some point worked for a moving company, for those men are soldiers of the highest order. We can chat about this another time, but feel free to come watch football with me in my new pad and watch some football anytime. Sky’s in my basement right now. “SKY!!!! It puts the lotion on the skin.”

A couple side notes here… Last week’s lock of the week, the Baltimore Ravens (-3), destroyed the Carolina Panthers as Steve Smith Sr. gave his old team the kind of pounding I haven’t witnessed since the Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape. If we stop there, it would seem like I had a great week… A young man named Matt correctly pointed out that I didn’t seem to realize Oakland was playing in London this past week and not in their home stadium. If only my editor could not only fix my countless grammatical errors, but also do all of my research for me, maybe then, I’d be better at this. [Jay’s Note: Maybe!] Seriously though, that was amateurish of me and it will not happen again. That is, if Jay(Wrong) alerts me when and which teams are playing in London. [Jay’s Note: Sure thing! Here ya go…]

I didn’t get in my Thursday pick last week, and I changed my pick Philly/SF pick to San Francisco at the last minute, giving me a .500 record on the week. Normally, I’d be disheartened by such a performance, but that was before speaking with numerous sharps who seemed to have similar issues. Remember guys, if betting was easy, everybody would do it.

I hit Twitter multiple times with my Packers pick this week, as I was feeling blowout all the way. I also nailed my Matt Asiata prediction (of him scoring no more than 5 points). Unfortunately for me, I was forced to start Asiata everywhere, but you know what makes the pain from being bent over in fantasy go away, don’t you? Yeah, having some floozy from Tinder ride you like a pony with the bidet at full blast hitting that special spot. Winning money is another possible cure, and that’s the focus here, so let’s get to it. This is Betting With Beddict!!!!

The quest for the perfect week continues…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Most who follow Matt Schauf of RapidDraft.com on Twitter seethe at each “IDP” tag and wonder how he can make light of internally displaced persons. In this case, however, we’re talking individual defensive players, who add realism to your fake football leagues and gripes for the whiny leaguemate who always finishes last anyway. Schauf will […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?