LOGIN

To be honest, I really don’t care much for Thanksgiving. After so many years it has become more of a chore than joy. Who gives a sh*t about the food? I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want anyway. Cramming twenty or so people into an average-sized house is not my definition of fun. Other people’s kids annoy me. Especially when they threaten to impede best part of the day. Football. Cries of I WANNA watch [insert bullsh*t kids show]” by a whiney brat annoy me about as much as when someone somewhat related to me that I could really care less about sits down next to me and tries to tell me about what’s gone on in his life since last year when he tried the same thing. But I digress.

Other than a last name that gave me a fitting title, Chris Givens has no business being mentioned in this post. But since he’s unknowingly done me a solid, I’ll give him his 30 seconds of “fame”. After three games with St. Louis where he had 1 reception for 7 yards, Givens was traded to the Ravens. Since moving to Baltimore he’s had 12 catches on 24 targets (50%) for 168 yards and a touchdown. I think Antonio Brown topped those number last week alone. Have no “misgivens” about it, if you own this guy, you’re bad at fantasy football.

This week I’m giving The Stats Machine a well deserved opportunity to rest its bits and bytes. It takes a lot of 1’s and 0’s to fuel its core and with the playoff push in the near horizon, I thought it was the right time to recharge its light cycles. So instead of analyzing last week’s performances, I am going to use this space to highlight some stats leaders…

Red Zone Targets – Rob Gronkowski (17)
Red Zone Receiving Touchdowns – Tyler Eifert (11)
Goal Line Carries – Chris Ivory (13)
Red Zone Rushing Touchdowns – Chris Ivory, DeAngelo Williams, Jeremy Hill and Cam Newton (5)

It seems that tight ends are a quarterbacks best friend inside the red zone. With Edelman out I don’t expect Gronk’s looks inside the 20 to slow down any time soon. I’m not sure why opposing defenses don’t double team Eifert when he gets anywhere near the end zone. All 11 of his touchdowns have come on red zone passes. Chris Ivory is 8th in the league in rushing with 679 yards. That’s exactly 327 yards less than Adrian Peterson. But once they get near the goal line, Ivory (13) has three more rushing attempts than Peterson (10). Peterson has only managed to find pay dirt once in those 10 opportunities.

Targets – DeAndre Hopkins (136)
Receptions – Julio Jones (89)
Receiving Yards – Julio Jones (1189)
Receiving Touchdowns – Tyler Eifert (11)
Longest Reception – Martavis Bryant (88 yards)
First Down Receptions – DeAndre Hopkins (62)
Yards After Catch – Danny Woodhead (539)
Yards Per Reception – Torrey Smith (21.2)
Receptions Greater Than 20 Yards: Allen Robinson (20)
Drops – Leonard Hankerson, Amari Cooper and Julian Edelman (8)

I can’t believe I spend more on Brandin Cooks than the DeAndre Hopkins spent on Hopkins. Nearly one of every 3 passes thrown by a Texans quarterback is thrown in the direction of Hopkins. In PPR leagues that is worth its weight in gold. Here’s what I gather from these stats. If you want a first down, throw it to Hopkins. If you want a touchdown, throw it to Eifert. Danny Woodhead is hard to tackle after he catches the ball. And if you need 20 yards, throw it to Allen Robinson.

Passing Attempts – Philip Rivers (420)
Completions – Philip Rivers (288)
Completion Rate – Drew Brees (66.8)
Yards Per Completion – Carson Palmer (14)
Touchdowns – Carson Palmer (27)
First Down Completions – Tom Brady (159)
Completions Greater Than 20 Yards – Carson Palmer (46)
Completions Greater Than 40 Yards – Ben Roethlisberger (10)
Completions Per Touchdown – Carson Palmer (8.03)
Interceptions – Peyton Manning (17)
Sacks – Russell Wilson (35)
Rushing Yards (QB) – Russell Wilson (385)

I sure do see a lot of Carson Palmer in this list. Numerous sources have Tom Brady as the current front runner for MVP. First down completions go a long way. For every sack Russell Wilson endures, he rushes for 11 yards. If you throw it, they will catch it. That’s Philip Rivers mantra. And just in case you were afraid Peyton Manning wouldn’t find his way onto this list, he finds himself atop the one category no quarterback wants to be.

Rushing Attempts – Adrian Peterson (208)
Rushing Yards – Adrian Peterson (1006)
Yards Per Carry (min 100 carries) – Thomas Rawls (5.98)
Rushing Touchdowns – Devonta Freeman (9)
Longest Rush – Lamar Miller (85 yards)
Carries Greater Than 20 Yards – Doug Martin (10)
Fumbles – Adrian Peterson (5)
First Down Carries – Devonta Freeman (49)

Adrian Peterson has 6 rushing touchdowns. He also has nearly as many fumbles with five. While he might lead the league in rushing, he also leads in carries. His yards per carry (4.84) doesn’t even get him inside the top ten. He’s 8th if we only include running backs with at least 100 carries. I would love to know what Thomas Rawls’ stats would look like had he been the starter in Seattle all season.

Average Punt – Pat McAfee (48.9)
Longest Punt – Jordan Berry (79)
Most Punts – Shane Lechler (63)
Longest Field Goal – Greg Zuerlein (61)
Field Goals Greater Than 50 Yards – Brandon McManus (5)

Good luck this weekend, and thanks Chris Givens…