Hey, you guys remember when the Saints destroyed Hurricane Katrina? They basically put a bounty on it and once it made landfall, it was quickly downgraded to a tropical storm. You could say a similar thing happened last night against the Falcons. With their season on the line (a loss would have put the Saints five games back), the Falcons we remembered so well from past years showed up and provided the derp we were craving. Penalties, fumbles, a profound lack of Julio Jones when it mattered, and even a punt was blocked (shown above), all helping Drew Brees connect 98% of his passes to a tight end I’m still trying to learn about on Wikipedia. If the Patriots or Packers had the schedule the Falcons had (I mean, look at it. The Falcons have two teams left to play against with a winning record…), they’d each go 790-0 during the regular season. And that’s being kind with the math. And yet, the 5-0 Falcons lost to the hapless 1-4 Saints. Sounds like peak NFC South to me folks…
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Drew Brees – 30/39, 312 YDS, 1 TD and 2 CAR, 2 YDS. “Hunh, I don’t get it… these schemes worked with Seattle’s 2014 roster. What’s the deal here?” – Dan Quinn. I think all Brees owners can breathe a sigh of relief, as his arm strength looks back to normal again. He’s once again a QB1 and a must-start in all formats. Now, if he could only throw to not Ben Watson for the rest of the season, that’d be just great.
Brandin Cooks – 4 REC, 41 YDS. Cooks did a thing?
Devonta Freeman – 13 CAR, 100 YDS, 1 TD and 8 REC, 56 YDS, 1 TD. Two touchdowns for Freeman. Gordon Freeman is a character in Half-Life… Half-Life 3 confirmed!
Julio Jones – 6 REC, 93 YDS. I hope Julio Jones has a kid and names him Julio Jones Jr., so the kids can call him Ju-Jo-Ju. OR, what about Jack Jimmy-Julio-Jennifer Jones? He’d be Ja-Ji-Ju-Je-Jo… or wait, maybe having all five vowels is bad… juju? *Farts, leaves room.*
Matt Ryan – 30/44, 295 YDS, 2 TD and 4 CAR, 10 YDS, 1 FUM. Matty Ice? More like “Matty Holy Sh*t, Remember When People Thought He’d Be Amazing?”, amiright?
Willie Snead – 4 REC, 55 YDS. “Pick up Snead,” he said to himself, “he’s sure to get a lot of targets.” he said…
Benjamin Watson – 10 REC, 127 YDS, 1 TD. No fantasy points allowed unless you are a sh*tty tight end that nobody would ever dream of starting.
Roddy White – 3 REC, 23 YDS, 1 TD. All nine Roddy White owners got together and celebrated last night. And what a celebration it was.
Final Thought
Must have been a full moon last night…
