I hope this week’s injury report finds you well and uninjured, unlike these poor saps below.

Anquan Boldin: Questionable — I know when I drag my ham around for long periods of time the string gets all funky. Guessing this is Boldin’s problem. He will be a game time decision, which sucks since he plays late. Check when your teams lock and if you have another option that plays late or Monday night. If not I’d sit him.

Brian Westbrook: Probable — You’ll see Mr. Westbrook on this list early and often this season. He’s a good play against the Panthers. You know what you got into when you picked him, unless it was an autodraft and then you should have preranked your players or got a better internet connection or not had so many jello shots.

Pierre Thomas: Out — It might be time to start doubting Thomas just a bit. I hope his MCL sprain doesn’t linger or reoccur, but if it does you picked up Bell and are ready to go! Right?

Tom Brady: Probable (as usual) — He’s fine. This will be the last time I mention Brady on the injury report unless he actually gets injured.

Matt Cassel: Questionable — This is just to fill up some space for this post. You wouldn’t start a banged up Cassel in Baltimore on a dare.

Matt Schaub: Probable — One of the many QB’s named Matt, this one is fine and you should start him.

Bernard Berrian: Questionable — BB will be a game time decision. He’s probably worth waiting on, but his hammy could act up during the game. If you have a decent backup I’d take a hard look at him.

Kyle Orton: Questionable — The bearded neck will play with a glove over his boo boo. He’ll probably be ok, but there are a lot of questions surrounding the Broncos going into Cincinnati; I’d be cautious.

Knowshon Moreno: Questionable — He’s been practicing, but not even Josh McDaniels’ diary knows how much work, if any, he’ll get. And if you get your hands on that diary I want to see if there are any scribbled out hearts with “JM + BM” inside them.

Carson Palmer: Probable — He says he’s “full go!” He gets the Broncos at home. If you drafted him, here’s the time to get him in your lineup.

Wes Welker: Questionable — He’s been practicing, sorda. I think he’ll play, but with Billy B. we may not know until his 3rd or 4th reception.

Chris Henry: Probable — He says he’ll play, but he is still a #3 receiver. He does get the Chiefs and with his nose for the goalline he could grab a TD.

Antonio Bryant: Probable — He’s been practicing. I like his ability, but don’t like his situation. I’m throwing him against the starters’ wall until he stops sticking.

Kevin Walter: Questionable — He’ll be a game time decision, but I wouldn’t wait too long. I’d switch him for a warmer body.

Here are some more injuries to players I deem inferior and who shall not receive commentary. May they hang their heads in shame:

Fred Jackson: Probable — Wrist

Mark Clayton: Probable — Hamstring

LJ Smith: Out — Hamstring

Jerome Harrison: Questionable — Knee

Jabar Gaffney: Questionable — Thumb

Justin Fargas: Questionable — Hamstring

Chaz Schillens: Out — Foot

Dustin Keller: Probable — Toe

Deion Branch: Questionable — Hamstring

Jerious Norwood: Probable — Knee

Jeremy Shockey: Probable — Ankle

Mark Bulger: Probable — Finger

  1. AL KOHOLIC says:

    yeah this boldin and welker thing stinking,ive had westbrook for 4 years so im used to game time decision with him

  2. AL KOHOLIC says:

    not sounding good for boldin,he said its only week 1,he doesnt want to miss 3 or 4 weeks,i have breaston and heyward bey to plug in ,not tit for tat but better than a goose egg

  3. salipp says:

    Start at #2WR this week, B. Edwards or Breaston?

  4. cincinnasty says:

    Start Bryant over Driver then?

    Missed the run on Wr and ended up with Desean Jackson,Antonio Bryant and Donald Driver.

    If I package Gates with Antonio Bryant what kind of talent should I expect in return.

    Figure I can pick up celek or the like off waivers

  5. the robbie says:

    who do i start?

    santana moss vs. Giants
    derrick mason vs. Kansas City

  6. Boozin Susan says:

    need to pick up a D/ST and my options are limited. Would you go Arizona or New Orleans?

  7. Doc says:

    @salipp: If the Boldin medd still isn’t clear I’d stick with Edwards
    @cincinnasty: Driver hasn’t been hurt so I’d stick with him
    @the robbie: I like Mason

  8. Doc says:

    @Doc: Whoops, I meant mess. Dang iPhone

  9. Doc says:

    @Boozin Susan: Tough call. I like az d a little more.

  10. J.P. says:

    You know what you got into when you picked him, unless it was an autodraft and then you should have preranked your players or got a better internet connection or not had so many jello shots.

    Being in autodraft leagues is absolutely inexcusable. Laziness, that’s all there is too it. Laziness about even being a football fan.

  11. G says:

    Beanie Wells, Julius Jones, or Peyton Hillis for #2 RB this week? Thanks! I love Hillis but is Jones vs STL the smartest move this week?

  12. salipp says:

    Now with Berrian reportedly out, would you start Harvin over Edwards and Breaston.

  13. DANgerous says:

    Ok so Schuab or Palmer?? I keep going back n forth should I consider palmer my #1 or #2?

  14. Doc says:

    @G: Jones
    @salipp: Berrian is a game time decision and so is Boldin. I think you need to know their status first. If they do plat I’d go with Edwards. And if they don’t I’d go with Breaston.

  15. Brotha B says:

    3 Recievers bouncing 2 spots..AGonz Berrian and LMoore…Even if Berrian is g2g should I start AGonz and LMoore?

  16. sickmangarner says:

    Start Ryan Grant or Steve Slaton? Jones-Drew is my other RB so it’s should be a good day either way. Packers offense looks good but Grant was so ho-hum last year. Doubts about Slaton are creeping in.

  17. Doc

    Doc says:

    @DANgerous: Palmer’s matchup is great, but I would consider Schaub your #1 until he proves otherwise.

    @Brotha B: I think so. I’d give Berrian a chance to prove he’s healthy.

    @sickmangarner: I’d stick with Slaton.

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