Smart Ref. I would have been trying to get away from this game all night...

Smart Referee. I would have been trying to get away from this game all night…

8-0 they said. The most balanced team in the NFL team they said. Andy Dalton, finally leaving the Andy Dalton line behind once and for all they said. I present, in counter evidence, last night’s performance. Sure, it’s just one loss, but “Prime Time Andy” showed up once again (last seen two weeks ago on Thursday Night Football against the Browns) and the question isn’t if they are going to the playoffs (that’s pretty much a for sure thing), but how badly they are going to lose their first playoff game. Speaking of which, going into this game, I wondered what point differential would result in a Bill O’Brien firing. Three points ain’t going to cut it, that’s for sure. And in what was probably one of the worst games this season to sit through (here a kick, there a kick, everywhere a kick, kick), your now first place Texans (hole-leeee sh*tballs) were able to pull off a surprising upset win over the BengaLOLs. I’m just going to force myself into believing I watched a high-scoring NHL game to try and stave off this impending post-traumatic syndrome… let’s see what happens.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 10’s Monday Night Football game:

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Andy Dalton – 22/38, 197 YDS, 1 INT and 5 CAR, 30 YDS. If you could cross Andy Dalton with Rex Grossman, you’d either have the greatest quarterback of all time, or an incurable disease.

Tyler Eifert – 3 REC, 26 YDS. We’ve secretly replaced Tyler Eifert with Jermaine Gresham. Let’s see if anyone notices…

A.J. Green – 5 REC, 67 YDS. When in doubt, throw it to A.J. Green. I feel like if this were my job description, I could be quarterback for the Bengals. Okay, okay, you’re right. Just the Rams

Jeremy Hill – 7 CAR, 15 YDS and 3 REC, 5 YDS. A Jeremy Hill to Die On if you ask me.

Brian Hoyer – 12/22, 123 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 15 YDS. Left the game with a concussion. What a coincidence, seeing as that’s how I left the game too.

T.J. Yates – 5/11, 69 YDS, 1 TD and 2 CAR, -2 YDS. Put in Brock Osweiler! Oh wait, I seem to have become unstuck in time.

 

Final Thought

wattdance

Can you say “the Houston Texans are a first place team” without vomiting?

 

 

  1. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    man was this year filled with more early round busts than in a long time seemingly. hill/lacy/d.murray (not that anybody round here thought he should’ve been drafted that early of course)/anderson/cobb/DT/AJ/hilton/green/jimmer (not that anybody smart really thought there wouldn’t be a huge dropoff moving from NO offense to SEA’s)/morris/gordon/forehead, and that’s just the underperformers, doesn’t include the injury cases of dez/bell/charles/luck/hyde

    1. 6 pt TD with small yard bonuses. 2 QB dynasty. what’s best order for next year, use ROS as a tiebreaker. i’m thinking it’s osweiler>keenum>sanchize>yates (hoyer probably least hurt of other guys on these teams)
    2. PPR too. best out of these TE’s (same thing, next year, with ROS thrown in for breaker), Gilmore, Tamme, Rico Rodgers, Fells, Rudolph, Julius T, Walford. Julius and to lesser extent Tamme are way ahead of rest for ROS rank alone.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: I think I speak for the majority in saying this season has especially sucked profound and utter goblin butt.

      1) You have the correct order, but like I said in the other post, I think Keenum is worth seeing a few weeks of in this format.

      2) I like Thomas still there, but Tamme is kinda interesting if the Jaguars can’t get themselves together.

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Jay: if i got the OS for $13 should i just drop Peyton for Keenum now? It won’t cost the same $13 i figured i might need to bid to secure Peyton (there was no 2nd bid for OS). This team is now 4-6 and only 7th in pts, 6 make playoffs. and with injuries to all of allen/forte/edelman, peyton being shit i likely ain’t coming back this year. i’d have all of rodgers/rodfather/OS/keenum if i did that. having 4 possible starters, and for sure 2 of them for next year is solid plan. There doesn’t appear any way Peyton comes back next year (i would’ve thought that mostly likely even at very start of year, back when we all thought Peyton was no worse than 10th best QB, rather than 30th or whatever he is now)

        $25 bucks left. spent 1 on Catanzaro.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Yeah, agreed here. Peyton is pretty much done. Not a for sure, but enough not to worry about.

          • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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            @Jay: now that i think about it, it may cost that same amount or more, but at this point i shouldn’t much care, since there’s only 3 weeks left anyway.

  2. The imp says:
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    Likely playoff team leaking oil with loss of Le’veon and probably Edelman. Still in running for $ from a division title if I can nurse a 1 game lead. Who would you drop from WR or RB corps to roster a bye week QB in 12 man PPR (2r 3w no flex)?
    Blount Forsett MJones Hyde
    Jeffrey Arob Lafell Tate Edelman

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The imp: I think it has to be Tate right now. Some teams, I’ve recommended dropping Edelmen, but I think you can scrounge one more week and reevaluate the depth there after your QB’s bye.

  3. Nick says:
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    lol it was inevitable that the Bengals would lose in epic fashion to blow the undefeated season…anyways, I’m looking to grab a QB to replace Peyton. Romo is first on that list. With just $7 left, do you bet it all or just a few dollars?

    Secondly, do you like Tyrod vs. NE this week or would you play Romo (if I were to get him) over him?

    How about, Mariota, Hasselback,Cutler or Alex Smith, who would be your #3 & #4 behind Romo to grab from waivers for either this weeks QB play or bench warmer?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I think I’m betting it all, or maybe 6 bucks to leave one emergency bid. I’d go back-up with Mariota at a low bid, for sure.

  4. Scooter G says:
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    Two straight losses has sent my team from cruising toward the number 1 seed to barely clinging to a playoff spot. So basically my team is the Packers…

    Make one of these trades to fix RB problem or just wait for guys to get healthy? Which trades would you accept?

    My league is 10 team 2 QB 2 wr standard but gives 1 point per 10 return yards. J Landry is the #3 wr on the year and abdullah is #12 RB so it’s a little tough to judge player values…

    I give J landry I get forsett
    Give den D an Diggs I get cin D and forsett
    Give Forte and Cooper get Ingram
    Give Cooper get l Murray

    My team
    Romo, M Ryan, Forte, DMC, Landry, a Robinson, gronk, den D, crosby

    Bench: Cooper, Diggs, abdullah, blue, CJA , M Gordon, C Hyde, Fitz, cutler, mariota

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scooter G: While I think your team certainly has rebound power, especially with Romo returning, but that Landry trade is favorable for you. I’d rather hold on Cooper and Diggs right now.

  5. Letsgoletsgo says:
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    Dropping big vern for a qb I think today..

    I own luck and bortles.. Martellus is my current TE and his consistency is killing me . I was hung Vernon would carve a role but not sure he’ll ever be more trustworthy than martlus..

    I could also drop christine Michael

    Options are romo, tanny, Matt ice

    • Letsgoletsgo says:
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      @Letsgoletsgo: I have $60 of faab left and have one of the larger bankrolls left.. How much would you drop to get one of these qbs?

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Letsgoletsgo: I’d probably drop a good amount on Romo, just to secure him. At least 35-50% of that, depending on what you’ve seen, behavior wise on the wire in your league.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Letsgoletsgo: Go Romo, and I’d let the VD thing go, he’s already complaining about volume. Denver is sorta falling apart.

      • letsgoletsgo says:
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        @Jay: yea youre saying just drop Vernon and don’t look back?

        the idea of it was great… if he blows up this week I suppose I can always just pick him back up.

        and spend big on romo right? his schedule isn’t great but I keep forgetting he has viable pass catchers (dez, Williams, witten, beasely, and even dmc) where matty ice has Julio and devanta and that’s about it right now.

        let me know what you think about starting bortles this week its always tough to make a decision on a short week.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @letsgoletsgo: Yeah on everything. I’m leaning Romo this weekend, but I’m still mulling it over. Rankings are up this Thursday, so we’ll see.

  6. Blake says:
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    so for the fantasy playoff run – who would like to have?

    M Ryan
    D Carr
    T Romo

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Blake: Romo.

  7. Blake says:
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    and after room – Carr or Ryan? which has the better schedule?

    • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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      @Blake: independent of sched it’s carr.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Blake: I like Ryan still, granted, I love Carr a lot, but I’m not quite sold on the Raiders yet.

  8. Kyman says:
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    Trade Q : my backfield is stacked and I don’t know who to do deal…
    I’ve got AP, Darren McFadden, and Charcandrick West who normally start.
    On my bench is James Stark, Jeremy Langford, and Chris Johnson

    There a team in my league on the bubble who has DeMarco Murray. Would you deal 2-3 of my RB’s for Murray (who admittedly hasn’t had the best of years).

    BIGGER Question: Do I deal Langford whose been playing out of his mind… sell high. Knowing that Forte might be back soonish.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Kyman: I would hold on Langford, special talent right now. I might package DMC and Chris Johnson for Murray.

  9. Kendrick Llama says:
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    Superflex league where I currently have Wilson and Tannehill (-1 qb sacks)

    Would you move hill and tanne for flacco?

    My rbs are gore west Freeman hill and Coleman

    Badly need qb

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Kendrick Llama: I wouldn’t no. I know you need help, but I don’t think Flacco is the answer. Can you try and pounce on a Romo or Rivers?

  10. Mark says:
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    Hey, need some help with waiver pick ups. Got barnidge on a bye this week. Who is droppable to pick up a TE.
    My team: joique bell, desean Jackson, rishard Matthews, Snead, hurns, Antonio Andrews, langford, gio Bernard, Sammy Watkins, ty Hilton.
    TE on waiver: tamme, Gilmore, Richard Rodgers, Ebron.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mark: I think Bell for Ebron or Gilmore makes sense.

  11. shookones says:
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    im starting to peek ahead at defenses for the last couple weeks but also for our playoffs (3 week playoffs)

    the Texans just got dropped and looked great last night, here’s their schedule:
    Texans–>nyj, nola, @buf, NE, @indy, @ten

    I already own the rams
    rams–> @bal, @cincy, Ariz, Det, TB, @ seattle.

    any other defenses looking ahead that might be a good stash?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @shookones: I think both are good, still giving the edge to the Rams.

  12. YSF says:
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    12 team PPR
    I give: Megatron, Lamar Miller, and Davante Adams
    I get: D Hopkins, Latavius Murray
    Would you do it? Assume there’s nothing on waivers cause there isn’t

    Team
    QB: Rivers
    WR: Dem Thomas, A-Robinson
    RB: L Miller, Woodhead
    TE: Olson
    FLEX: Megatron, Forsett
    DST: Stream
    Bench: Forte, Alshon, Davante Adams, Romo, K Wright, D Walker

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @YSF: I like your players a tad bit more.

  13. himynameischristineandicantplayfootball says:
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    would you drop christine michael for a playoff d/st or upside TE? (zach ertz, vernon davis, anyone else tht might be on the wire)

  14. Christine Michael: one Unlucky Whitehead (just pop him or not) says:
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    ok, looks like time to cut me in all but deepest of dynasty leagues, possibly even there.
    1. 14 teamer standard. grab coleman/j.bell or one of the remaining DAL guys: rod smith, trey williams? Yahoo must go by same depth chart as ourlads, as they show r.smith as having more ROS pts. this is for RB #5, so not likely to play this year, more about next year.

    2. 20 team dynasty but rushing yards worth more than receiving yards to balance how we only start 1 RB, with 1 flex. this is for RB #5 as well. Options: Grimes/R.Smith/D.Robinson

    3. PPR redraft. best out of R.smith/J.Bell/Blue/Grimes/White/Cobb

    4. 14 team PPR redraft, keep 2, i already have a.brown in the 4th and forsett in the last round. any free agent becomes last round guy. this spot would be either for RB #6 or WR #6. we start 3 WR/2 RB. I’ll add ASJ to it as well. Best 1 guy: givens/ASJ/R.Smith/Grimes/A.Morris/Royal/L.Moore/T.Smith/D.Cobb/Hartline/Douglas

    5. 12 team PPR dynasty where i’m already thin at RB: McCluster/Powell (i have Ivory)/White/R.Smith/Grimes. This is for RB #5.
    This might clean up me on rosters (FOREVER, maybe)

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Jay: guessing why r.smith isn’t the big winner in any of this is since there’s no reason why we know anything about what’s gonna happen when jog DMC gets hurt now? how long back did the DEN rod smith retire anyway, maybe this guy is his kid or nephew.

  15. A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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    deep league PPR. got either gabriel/m.wilson to drop possibly. other than dropping gabriel for hartline/k.martin , any others out of these: a.wilson, s.roberts, enunwa, cotchery,lee, simpson?
    2. same league: keep cobb over both of grimes/rod smith (with this michael news)

  16. I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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    in a standard where i’m in big trouble at 3-7 yet somehow still have 5th best scoring team, lost lewis/allen/bell in back to back weeks. drop who for ajayi (probably crowell). currently trying to trade one of my receivers for a equal value RB. 2 RB, 1 RB/WR, 2 WR/TE slots
    palmer/cutler
    k.will/andrews/cobb/jennings/crowell/white
    r.matthews/gronk/cooks/mike floyd/reed
    ARI kicker

      • I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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        @Jay: i won’t have 5th scoring team in a while without 1 starting level RB anymore (unless andrews counts now, or cobb becomes one, or jennings goes back to getting starter carries like he did in previous seasons, or crowell, which has happened before this year)

  17. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    very large rosters 20 team dynasty. hold michael to see what team he gets to or grab one of the two DAL guys for DMC’s inevitable “i’ve fallen and i can’t get up” or grab one of: randle/fozzy bear (equal value for return yardage in this league)/hightower?

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