Smart Referee. I would have been trying to get away from this game all night…
8-0 they said. The most balanced team in the NFL team they said. Andy Dalton, finally leaving the Andy Dalton line behind once and for all they said. I present, in counter evidence, last night’s performance. Sure, it’s just one loss, but “Prime Time Andy” showed up once again (last seen two weeks ago on Thursday Night Football against the Browns) and the question isn’t if they are going to the playoffs (that’s pretty much a for sure thing), but how badly they are going to lose their first playoff game. Speaking of which, going into this game, I wondered what point differential would result in a Bill O’Brien firing. Three points ain’t going to cut it, that’s for sure. And in what was probably one of the worst games this season to sit through (here a kick, there a kick, everywhere a kick, kick), your now first place Texans (hole-leeee sh*tballs) were able to pull off a surprising upset win over the BengaLOLs. I’m just going to force myself into believing I watched a high-scoring NHL game to try and stave off this impending post-traumatic syndrome… let’s see what happens.
Here’s what else I saw during Week 10’s Monday Night Football game:
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Andy Dalton – 22/38, 197 YDS, 1 INT and 5 CAR, 30 YDS. If you could cross Andy Dalton with Rex Grossman, you’d either have the greatest quarterback of all time, or an incurable disease.
Tyler Eifert – 3 REC, 26 YDS. We’ve secretly replaced Tyler Eifert with Jermaine Gresham. Let’s see if anyone notices…
A.J. Green – 5 REC, 67 YDS. When in doubt, throw it to A.J. Green. I feel like if this were my job description, I could be quarterback for the Bengals. Okay, okay, you’re right. Just the Rams…
Jeremy Hill – 7 CAR, 15 YDS and 3 REC, 5 YDS. A Jeremy Hill to Die On if you ask me.
Brian Hoyer – 12/22, 123 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 15 YDS. Left the game with a concussion. What a coincidence, seeing as that’s how I left the game too.
T.J. Yates – 5/11, 69 YDS, 1 TD and 2 CAR, -2 YDS. Put in Brock Osweiler! Oh wait, I seem to have become unstuck in time.
Final Thought
Can you say “the Houston Texans are a first place team” without vomiting?
