Well, this is a matchup that makes me think: Man, what did I do this week to deserve this? And on a Thursday night no less! You know we’re going to see a 3-0 game here, and if we’re lucky, maybe it’ll be 6-3. I could even see a 1-0 game. Honestly. I mean, one can only hope that we get a safety out of this so we can at least have a few laughs. Oh, god, I almost forgot this marks the debut of Phil f*cking Simms, and his favorite enabler, Jim Nantz. What. The. Hell. Not only that, but we have a hobbled Sammy Watkins to deal with, Tyrod Taylor trying to climb himself back into relevance, and a Jets offense that’s more boring than Cris Collinsworth hyping up Tom Brady. I guess this is my way of telling you to make sure all your favorite alcohol beverages and antacids are stocked up. And probably get your ear plugs, and probably blindfolds in the ready position…
The rankings have been updated just now for tonight’s game, and can be found here.
By the Numbers
8 – Eight months have passed since that season-finale loss.
1 – Wins Fitzpatrick has in nine starts against a Ryan defense.
1 – The total combined score of tonight’s game.
Take one sip of your drink if…
Phil Simms says something that makes you mute the television. (Baby sips.)
Ryan Fitzmagic passes for a first down.
Phil Simms responds to Jim Nantz with a “WELL JEEM”.
Rex Ryan looks frustrated at something.
Revis islands starts looking like a great timeshare opportunity.
Quincy Enunwa does something good.
Finish your drink if…
Sammy Watkins does something good.
Sheldon Richardson does something stupid.
You see Rob Ryan say “f*ck”.
Totally Legitmate Game Prediction
Jets – 1
Bills – 0
You think it’s impossible, but trust me, they’ll find a way. THEY’LL FIND A WAY.