garrap

Hunh, that’s weird. A prime time Patriots game not against the Colts or Broncos? No Tom Brady still? Gronk still questionable? A third-string quarterback starting? The first black quarterback to start for the Patriots… ever? ALL THE QUESTION MARKS? Yeah, so this should be an easy loss for them. *Looks at matchup* LOL, nevermind. The Texans travel to Boston, bringing with them a quarterback that we’ve affectionately (I think?) labeled as Brock Lobster (hey, when there’s low-hanging fruit, go for it brah) that continues to prove to everyone what simply shouldn’t be provable, that John Elway might have been right about something. Despite providing an underwhelming first two weeks, Lamar Miller and the emergence of Will Fuller have eased the blow to all Texan fans. All six of you. Meanwhile, as was touched on before, we are basically watching Bill Belichick’s biggest strategic gambit pay off, as he has decided to punt the first three weeks of the season and still win all of those games just to assert dominance over the AFC. This may seem less impressive when they’ve beaten the Dolphins and what was an under-achieving Cardinals, but then you realize that about 88% of their team has been deflating balls or getting shoulders and legs exploded during that time…

Note: Rankings have been released and can be found here!

 

Drinking Game

5-bill-belichick-party-gif

Take one sip of your drink if…

Phil Simms says something that makes you mute the television. (Baby sips.)

Bill Belichick causes you to experience an emotion.

J.J. Watt is mentioned.

DeAndre Hopkins bails out Brock Osweiler.

Deflategate is mentioned in any context.

Phil Simms responds to Jim Nantz with a “WELL JEEM”.

The Oilers are mentioned.

Finish your drink if…

You see a Texans fan in the stadium shots.

There’s a Jimmy Garoppolo sighting on the sidelines.

Danny Amendola gets injured.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

wattdance

Texans – 6 (The number of Texan fans. Source: My lede.)

Patriots – 57 (Because we don’t deserve nice things. Probably because of masturbation.)

 

  1. Ddv says:
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    Dorsett or fuller half Ppr?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Goin Fuller there.

  2. mikeMaher

    mikeMaher says:
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    I would like to take this time to point out that a certain Razzball contributor picked Will Fuller for Rookie of the Year ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

  3. Jurickson BROfar says:
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    C Mike of Tajae in the flex? Standard scoring.

    • Jurickson BROfar says:
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      @Jurickson BROfar: ps. You are the best Jay.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jurickson BROfar: Leaning C-Mike… make sure you ask Tehol though, he has a pretty solid grasp of that Seattle situation.

  4. Old dirty says:
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    .5 ppr

    Would you trade away shepard, Julius Thomas and Jennings for reed and t Coleman ?

    Starting WRs are brown / Evans, backups are both Benjamins and Shepard .

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Old dirty: No, I’d hold there.

  5. goodfold2 says:
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    20 teamer, drop abdullah or dj foster (or both) for which of these (missed mccluster by about 30 minutes yesterday, could spell my whole season actually if i get one more injury):
    ervin/farrow/ferguson (appears gore’s backup now)/zenner/smallwood/darkwa/c.johnson

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: PPR, and i have abdullah/l.bell/artis payne/langford/howard. till abdullah went out i appeared to have decent depth and only one weak spot.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: Ferguson, and probably take a gamble on Smallwood… eh, tough situation.

  6. Montezuma's Revenge...right now says:
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    test, it didn’t post my last 2 attempts.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      I got this one.

      • Montezuma's Revenge...right now says:
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        @Jay: are there certain kind of links that software fails to accept maybe?

  7. Old dirty says:
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    Looking ahead to week 5…I have a lot of the same byes and wanted to prepare. Eventually , I will have to drop a good player to cover both positions or make a 2 for 1 trade

    Russell Wilson and Julius Thomas have byes

    I currently have :
    Qb Wilson
    Rb freeman, ware
    Wr ab, Evans
    Te Julius

    Bench is Jennings, sims, k Benjamin, t Benjamin, Shepard and I picked up Ryan this week to play the saints

    Eifert was dropped and cleared waivers .

    Hold onto Ryan for this week or grab eifert? Ryan plays Denver week 5 . It looks like eifert will be ready for week 5

    Thanks

Comments are closed.