Stay classy Baltimore!

Stay classy Baltimore!

In what will be the official debut of “Don’t Give a Sh*t Era” Michael Vick, the 0-3 Ravens travel to Pittsburgh to see if their team is interested in a getting a win. Strangely enough, this was the first ever winless September for the Ravens. Unless you count in terms of public relations, then I would say, based on the picture above, that last season’s September winless record is still intact. The Steelers have their own set of issues with the aforementioned Michael Vick starting with Ben Roethlisberger suffering a MCL sprain last Sunday. While I’m sure still having Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell is nothing to scoff at, it’ll be interesting to see which Vick shows up tonight; will it be the “watch me earn salary I’m going to do nothing to justify” type of game or “I’m going to trigger my disability insurance” type of game. You’d think both would be similar performances, but then you’d be wrong. The game will probably come down to how productive Le’Veon Bell is, now his second official game coming off his suspension. Logic dictates that since Justin Forsett has been an absolute dumpster fire that the Ravens would not be familiar enough with the concept of a running game to be able to defend against it, but I guess we’ll see. On the bright side, the Ravens do have an elite quarterback…

 

By the Numbers

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4 – Number of Pro Bowls for Michael Vick.

5 – Number of years since Vick has been to a Pro Bowl.

20 – The number of receptions Antonio Brown has caught the last two home games against the Ravens, good for 261 yards and a touchdown.

HARF HARF – Big Ben reciting numbers one through 10.

 

Drinking Game

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Take one sip of beer if…

Ray Lewis is mentioned.

The words “elite” and Joe Flacco are made in the same statement.

Phil Simms says something absolutely asinine. (Take baby sips…)

They show a Ravens or Steelers Super Bowl montage.

Joe Flacco bounces a pass to his receivers. Take a sip for each bounce.

Joe Flacco whiffs completely on a pass to his receivers. (Double-sip if you think it’s both a whiff and the football McNabb-bounced.)

Take one shot of liquor if…

The camera shows one of those super fat ladies swinging a terrible towel like it means something.

You hear Phil Simms go ”Well JEEEEEEM…”.

Vick turns over the ball.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

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Ravens – 14 (The amount of stabbings it takes Ray Lewis to get the middle of a Tootsie Pop.)

Steelers – 76,000 (The amount screens you’ll see this game.)

 

 

  1. OldMilwaukeePounders says:
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    Jay,

    Last season when BAL played PIT in 3 meetings Flacco threw it to a combo of Daniels and Gilmore for 17 recptions, 173 yards, 4 TDs.

    Do you like streaming Maxx Williams tonight instead of waiting to hear about Green’s health? It would be a 1 week play with Delanie Walker coming back after the bye.

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @OldMilwaukeePounders: Yeah, with two concussions he’s dealing with, not sure what to think of Green, and I have Maxx Williams slightly ahead of him.

  2. RotoLance

    RotoLance says:
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    You drink any craft beer, Jay? If so, any local breweries you like? Local to whichever place you prefer, of the places you’re either from or lived recently.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @RotoLance: Going to stick to my local roots and say that DC Brau is damn good.

  3. Dom B says:
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    Should I start Steve Smith or Keenan Allen

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: I have Smith slightly higher.

  4. Dave says:
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    Someone dropped CJ Spiller in my PPR league, should I pick him up? Can drop Ryan Mathews or Tevin Coleman for him.

    Also, Vick tonight or Stafford at Seattle?

    Thanks Jay!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dave: Vick.

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @Dave: Vick

  5. RotoLance

    RotoLance says:
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    I think one of either Cameron Artis Payne or Fozzy Whittaker is going to end up starting for Carolina this week… If you’re desperate at RB I”d go with Artis-Payne.

    • RotoLance

      RotoLance says:
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      Pretty sure I mean to say “could end up starting”. I do think it’s likely.

  6. Killer Joe says:
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    That is one elite GIF

    • RotoLance

      RotoLance says:
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      It’s an elite post.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Killer Joe: Not as elite as the person it’s giffing…

  7. ryanoger says:
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    .5 ppr keeper league

    A guy in my league is looking for WR depth…*update* he doesn’t want to give up Gurley…my team is:

    QB-Aaron Rodgers
    WR-Jordan Matthews, Jarvis Landry
    RB- DeMarco Murray, Latavius Murray
    TE- Greg Olsen
    FLEX- Steve Smith
    Bench- Bilal Powell, Thomas Rawls, Mike Evans, James Jones, Antonio Gates, Michael Crabtree
    IR- Jordy
    K-Tucker
    DEF- Broncos

    So the rest of his RBs look like this…

    Jamaal Charles, Joseph Randle, Jonathan Stewart, Woodhead

    I think the only other RB I would have interest in getting is Jamaal, who should I offer him? Or would you try to do something else or just hold?

    thanks a lot man!
    ryan

    • ryanoger says:
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      @ryanoger:

      Doesn’t look like he’ll deal Jamaal now, Woodhead, Randle, or Stewart worth a grab? Who would I deal then…

      thanks
      ryan

  8. Zandy says:
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    Am I the most excited reader for your first set of ROS rankings? Like Xmas morning! Should I expect them next week?

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Zandy: yeah i think Jaywrong mentioned it was somewhere around week 4.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: Yes sir, Pillow is correct, they’ll be out next week!

  9. Mike says:
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    I own ivory, Abdullah , and Rawls
    Was thinkng of starting Rawls and if lynch somehow plays, then I could put in Abdullah
    Or would u just start Ivory to play it safe
    Thx
    Standard league

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mike: I’d play it safe.

  10. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    i’ll move these here in case you’re done over there
    1. a.will or hold helu in PPR and pts per yard weighted very heavily towards rushing yards over caught yards since we only start 1 RB, 2 WR, 1 flex that can be a TE. 20 team dynasty. this is for RB #6 slot (maybe 5 since michael isn’t used yet, but he certainly has more upside)

    2. PPR with 1 pt per return yard. If Luck doesn’t play who’s my drop for Kaep/Bradford/Bortles
    start 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 Flex. Man i wish this injury happened this week rather than last week, could just drop h.miller.
    Luck
    edelman/landry/wallace/ginn/hurns
    forte/vereen/spiller/ellington/jennings
    a.miller/gates

    If this was standard PPR it’d be Ginn, but with return yards that’s hard to fade the min 3 pts Ginn gets from that. And could get much more in a good week from that. Since PIT game is right now i don’t have the option of punting TE this week and dropping Miller. depth charts has ginn doing both punt and kick, but CAR has only had 2 kick returns all year and he got neither. he has gotten all the punt work. they need to get spiller’s ass back to these like preseason charts showed he would.in case i lose wallace or ginn other WR i would get later would be 1 of roddy/t.montgomery (he might have more value than ginn at some point anyway, he does kick returns)/shorts/both floyds/t.smith, britt etc.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: I go back and forth, saw it here first though. 1. Tough one, leaning Williams there. 2. Bortles. If it helps, Spillers snaps have been going up since his return. It’s a good sign.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: who’s the drop though for the QB. with RB’s being what they are i probably can’t drop any of them. wish i would’ve just punted TE this week, miller looking like he’ll get less than 3. was wide open at least once that woud’ve gotten probably 4 yds.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          I still like Kap, I think Bortles is the weak link.

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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            @Jay: no, i need to add one of kaep, bradford or bortles if in fact luck doesn’t play, would have to drop somebody else. likely wallace,ginn, or hurns. without .1 pt per return yard i’m sure it would be ginn, but with how bad MIN’s volume of passing is it might be wallace.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Oh, I gotcha, I’d add kap. Probably for Hurns because of your return yardage. Hurns upside is better, but I think Wallace might be a bit more useful as Bridgewater settles in a bit.

  11. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    and it’s looking like my prediction was actually too good, i thought brown would move from WR #1-3 in PPR to maybe 7-10. It’s sure looking more like WR 15-20 now. Yikes. Best hope i make the playoffs with all Brown rosters at all. And Bell isn’t being helped by Vick either, i love how everybody is claiming that one. Just since his % of plays from scrimmage might be better, the total plays, yards, catches, TD’s will all be worse with Vick. The offense will on the field much less. It will certainly help the punters overall yards, so leagues that force you to play PIT punters should be happy.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Probably some good gameplanning from the Ravens too. They’ve contained him really well.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: it sure looks like scobee and the OC at PIT are being paid to not win this game.
        1 in reg, 3rd and 4 with 3 pt lead and enough time to let BAL kick FG they can’t try to throw for a 1st down?
        2. overtime, 4th and 2, they can’t make some kind of play for bell to get the ball
        3. 4th and 1 bell again doesn’t get the ball?
        scobee seriously shouldn’t have a job. novak was just laying out there but this guy gets paid by a team that thinks it wants to compete.

        it’s like every decision they have they are intentionally making the worst one, like carroll in the super bowl (that was only 1 call there)

        • I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: i don’t often go in for conspiracy theories, but i’m sure it’s in many many people’s interests to not have BAL go 0-4. Divisional games late in the year sell crazy, when they have ramifications on the playoffs of course.

        • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: yeah, that’s true, he seemed doubled all game, and the one time he was single covered that i saw in OT he had a nice easy catch. bryant coming back might really help brown, but this is of course assuming any D coordinator actually respects vick’s “ability” to throw deep. And for Vick (like Bradford) throwing 7 yards sometimes is to far for accuracy. Looks about like half the time for Vick, Bradford gets it done maybe 2/3 of the time on those 7 yarders.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Yeah, the decision making was terrible this game as well. Four and 1 without Bell doing anything was the highlight.

  12. Zandy says:
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    Is kamar Aiken must add? If smith misses time where would he rank? Even with smith where would he rank? Is there upside?

    • Zandy says:
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      @Zandy: also thinking no perriman for a while…

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Zandy: Yeah, his knee just got scoped. Sad really, as this WR situation would benefit him the most.

    • I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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      @Zandy: i’m quite happy in deep leagues to have aiken now. and it’s no hair off anybody’s ass to have a guy get hurt that is so in love with himself to have added SR to his name. He’s got Titus Young as his sequential forebear on that one too, another lovely human.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: Not sure on a ranking yet, but he would be top-40 moving forward if Smith isn’t in the picture. Their is no one else… like I’d slap myself if I had to add Marlon Brown.

      • I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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        @Jay: i can find no one to replace wheaton in a 20 teamer, and already have aiken.

  13. William says:
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    Isaiah Crowell was dropped in my league. Should I pick him up?

    My RBs are: Forte, J-Stewart, Matt Jones, Karlos Williams, Doug Martin, and LeGarrett Blount

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William: I like the guys you have a bit more.

  14. Scott says:
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    You have outdone yourself with your numbers good sir. My coworkers are seriously concerned about me. ROFLMAO

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