Imagine an alley my friends. And in that alley, imagine a dumpster. And, if you can, imagine a fire in that dumpster. Some would call it a “dumpster fire”. Good for them, because it’s a good name for it. I also have a good name. I call it “Falcons Defense”. After giving up the most yards in the NFL this season, and the only team not to register a sack, I think a new strategy needs to implemented. Just let the Buccaneers score so you can get the ball back quicker. I’m not sure you’ll win, but I’ll at least be very entertained. And as the scores would probably end up in the quadruple digits, I’ll probably be very turned on as well. Hey baby, what’s your name, what’s yo– holy sh*t, that’s like 28 touchdowns. MARRY ME.
However, what was not as expected is that Roddy White looks to be inactive for the game tonight.
Unless he’s talking about a different kind of context. Like, they were going to go out to have dinner or something, and that was called off. Probably because there’s a game tonight or along those lines. Who knows. As with all things this vague, I would wait until the last possible moment to make your roster decisions. If he is out, Harry Douglas becomes your number one benefactor. Wait, what if Canfora is, oh I’m sorry, what if La Canfora is just going blind? Should we send him a doctor? HE CAN’T SEE THINGS. INCLUDING RODDY WHITE.
UPDATE: And it looks like Roddy White has been officially made inactive (hamstring). But not invisible La Canfora!
Note: I’ll be doing Corona for the beer portion, and Vodka for the shots portion.
Take one sip of beer if…
Someone says Muscle Hamster.
Tony Gonzalez is mentioned.
Josh McCown is referred to as a “Game Manager”.
Whenever the camera cuts to Mike Glennon.
Matt Ryan makes this look: (Take baby sips…)
Take one shot of liquor if…
You see Arthur Blank looking pensive with his bizarre pedo-mustache.
Mike Smith reacts positive to something.
Tampa Bay is called for any kind of 15-yard penalty.
Totally Legitmate Game Prediction
Buccaneers – -1 MRSA.
Falcons – 1 Jacquizz plus, I don’t know, 3 bonus points. Because Steven Jackson is a senior citizen and deserves an AARP discount.