Can’t get more exciting than this folks. The battle for last place in the NFC East is up for grabs tonight, and I for one will be watching this game with bated breath, much like how I watch porn. Playing in a short week, Washington will be coming in with some personnel issues from a very physical game against the Eagles last Sunday. DeAngelo Hall has a ruptured left Achilles (which might actually improve the secondary), Brian Orakpo and Jason Hatcher are both out, along with Shawn Lauvao and Duke Ihenacho. If I were him, I would just retire, as being the Duke of Nachos seems to be one of the worthiest of life pursuits. The Giants come in a bit healthier, but that’s not saying much, seeing as they were only able to put a semi-complete game together against the hapless Texans. And I’m being friendly when I say semi. Regardless, when two teams in the NFC East get together to see who can derp the most, I usually assume it involves the Cowboys, but this match-up will do just fine.
Note: I’ll be doing Stella Artois for the beer portion, and Vodka for the shots portion.
Take one sip of beer if…
RG3’s injuries (knee or ankle) are mentioned in any context.
Victor Cruz drops a pass.
Kirk Cousins and the word “leader” or “leadership” are used in the same hot take.
The Giants end up in the red zone to only settle for a field goal.
Any Washington D.C. monument is shown.
Take one shot of liquor if…
you see Eli Face.
you see Coughlin on the sidelines, chewing gum, head angled sideways with his hands on his hips looking like he didn’t get his cranberry juice.
Totally Legitmate Game Prediction
Giants – 17… as in level 17 magenta, the color of Tom Coughlin’s face.
Washington Football Team – 7.5. The half point is there because this is my over/under for how many times anything about a possible name change is mentioned.