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Can’t get more exciting than this folks. The battle for last place in the NFC East is up for grabs tonight, and I for one will be watching this game with bated breath, much like how I watch porn. Playing in a short week, Washington will be coming in with some personnel issues from a very physical game against the Eagles last Sunday. DeAngelo Hall has a ruptured left Achilles (which might actually improve the secondary), Brian Orakpo and Jason Hatcher are both out, along with Shawn Lauvao and Duke Ihenacho. If I were him, I would just retire, as being the Duke of Nachos seems to be one of the worthiest of life pursuits. The Giants come in a bit healthier, but that’s not saying much, seeing as they were only able to put a semi-complete game together against the hapless Texans. And I’m being friendly when I say semi. Regardless, when two teams in the NFC East get together to see who can derp the most, I usually assume it involves the Cowboys, but this match-up will do just fine.

 

Drinking Game

Note: I’ll be doing Stella Artois for the beer portion, and Vodka for the shots portion.

Take one sip of beer if…

RG3’s injuries (knee or ankle) are mentioned in any context.

Victor Cruz drops a pass.

Kirk Cousins and the word “leader” or “leadership” are used in the same hot take.

The Giants end up in the red zone to only settle for a field goal.

Any Washington D.C. monument is shown.

Take one shot of liquor if…

you see Eli Face.

you see Coughlin on the sidelines, chewing gum, head angled sideways with his hands on his hips looking like he didn’t get his cranberry juice.

 

Totally Legitmate Game Prediction

Giants – 17… as in level 17 magenta, the color of Tom Coughlin’s face.

Washington Football Team – 7.5. The half point is there because this is my over/under for how many times anything about a possible name change is mentioned.

  1. Joe says:
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    I’ve been offered LeSean McCoy for Jimmy Graham in a 10 team standard scoring ESPN league. Should I take it?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joe: Depends who takes over at TE, but yeah, I’m taking it.

  2. Comatose says:
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    Hey Jay,

    Just got offered Joique, Riley, and Stevie Johnson for my Asiata. For reference, My other backs are DeMarco, Bradshaw, Mathews, and Tate. I pretty much see this as Joique for Asiata, and I’m thinking of hanging on to the dude that’s going to get the touches. Your thoughts?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Comatose: Uh, I would do that trade in a heartbeat. Asiata isn’t even worth Bell.

      • Comatose says:
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        @Jay: Pulled the trigger. Who are you dropping then out of Riley Cooper, Stevie Johnson, Torrey Smith, and Dwayne Allen (backup to Kelce)?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Comatose: Leaning Cooper there.

  3. Sludge Feast says:
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    Heya Jay, fellas,

    Who do you like between Spiller or L. Miller this week? Thanks!

  4. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    is this where I come for the dense boner forest?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Smokey: Aren’t you always already there?

  5. the pillar & the stones says:
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    Thoughts on Dez & Taliferro for C Patterson & Lacy?
    12 team 0.5 PPR

  6. thomas pavella says:
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    R.O.S. who wld you rather have Bradshaw or sproles..ppr league

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @thomas pavella: Eeesh, that’s a tough one. Sproles, but it’s real close.

      • thomas pavella says:
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        @Jay: OK…same thing k Allen or crabtree

          • thomas pavella says:
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            @Jay: same type of question wild you trade d Thomas and vereen for Allen.. Bradshaw and sproles

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @thomas pavella: It’s close, but I wouldn’t at this point.

  7. The don says:
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    Khiry robinson, donald brown, matt artisa or Lorenzo taliferro? If you can keep only 3 who would they be in a ppr. I just have a feeling Lorenzo can take the starting job

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The don: Yeah, I think Asiata is the weak link there. Maybe even Brown.

      • The don says:
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        They are all pretty weak I’m only keeping brown because he’s the only man standing right now and matts still getting touches. So who would you drop? And will robinson still get the touches when Ingram gets back?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @The don: Yeah, if you are looking for ROS volume, Khiry is the most droppable here.

  8. Ron says:
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    I think I know the answer to this but would you trade Megatron and Cooks for Forte and Andre Johnson?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ron: Yeah, I’m fine with it actually.

      • Ron says:
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        @Jay: Does it matter that its a .5PPR, 2 player keeper league (can’t keep 1st round)? I thought for sure u would say hold on that move. Do you feel the same seeing my team? Only have to start 1RB and can start 4WR.

        QB: Rodgers
        RB: Charles, Stacy, Miller, West, Hyde, K. Davis
        WR: Megtron, Cruz, Crabtree, Colston, Cooks, Wheaton
        TE: Cameron, Kelce

  9. thomas pavella says:
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    R.o.s. crabtree.. d Murray…k.Allen for d Thomas c Johnson k wright…which side you like?

    • thomas pavella says:
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      @thomas pavella: Chris johnson

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @thomas pavella: Murray side, but it’s pretty much a tie for me.

      • thomas pavella says:
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        @Jay: i have Thomas and people are trying to low ball me for him..what is a good offer in your opinion for him? He shld rebound this season right?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @thomas pavella: Yeah, you gotta hold. Let him build some value.

          • thomas pavella says:
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            @Jay: I start him and Calvin..but my rbs are vereen and was Ryan Matthews but now Chris Johnson

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @thomas pavella: It’s not ideal, but not your fault. Reassess in a few weeks.

              • thomas pavella says:
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                @Jay: OK..want to thank you and the rest of the staff..found this place for the first time this preseason and won’t go anywhere else now

  10. goodfold2 says:
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    damn, in 20 teamer with WAS i would have been much better off putting in helu at flex and having roberts as WR 2 with garcon instead of d-jax. good thing my opp is CLE and i have donnell (as reed replacement). this is dynasty but with this offense
    cousins/RG3
    morris/taliaferro/helu/peterson/michael/sims (IR)
    d-jax/garcon/roberts (return yardage)/t.austin/m.lee/
    donnell/reed/ASJ
    start 2 WR/1 RB/1 flex
    out of t.austin/lee/ASJ (all hurt and no good games yet), which, if any, is droppable for shorter term needs (i don’t have these yet, but they’ll come up)
    right now only available offensive possible adds are archer/cunningham/s.taylor/a.williams/d.robinson/mallett (for QB backup)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: TNF is becoming predictable, just not in the way we’d like I think.

      I’d hold there.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Jay: considering nearly my entire offense is WAS players i’m getting very lucky to have opp be projected at a bottom 3 total this week out of 20, once cousins picks started flying i moved from being projected at top score (over 200) down to high 150’s, and around league average at best.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @goodfold2: That sounds like it could have been worse. Crisis perhaps averted.

  11. goodfold2 says:
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    garcon getting 4.8 is gonna hurt later in week in 2 leagues.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: including that b.s. call where his foot was down, yet they defended their original ruling calling it “not having possession” when ball never left his hands at all. that was about a 3.5 or so pt play.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @goodfold2: Well, I saw the ball leave his hand a bit while his foot was on the ground. It was so small, I’m not sure if that can be considered not having possession, but seems like a ref call. They changed it twice anyhow, essentially begging a challenge to help them figure it out.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: Yeah, certainly an empty game for him and Jackson. Going to hurt a lot of teams.

  12. the pillar & the stones says:
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    Terrance Williams or Wheaton ROS?
    0.5 PPR

  13. psssh says:
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    fitzgerald—-andre ellington—-josh gordon for montee——andre johnson—–colston

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @psssh: Fitz side if you can hold Gordon safely.

  14. Jerk Cousins says:
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    Well looks like you were right about the derp, or maybe I can’t tell the difference between red and blue!!! Just got offerred Jerk Bell for Isaiah Crow after adding him off the wire and dropping Terrence Williams coincidentally. Understand Browntown will be a brown dragon with 3 heads but I think Crowell’s workload remains consistent. Would you make the trade?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerk Cousins: I think this is just what the NFC East is… and that’s okay with me.

      I would. While it may remain constant, I’m of the opinion that it’s Tate and West again unless something crazy happens. Great buy-low in Bell there.

      • Jerk Cousins says:
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        @Jay: Hopefully my performace didn’t cause anyone to beat their dog. I think it’s a great buy low as well. It is an 8 team keeper and as fun as Crowell is to watch I already have Hyde stashed as my future bell cow. Plus, would rather have a 2 headed dragon rather than 3, especially is one is a much older looking Reggie Bush.

        • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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          @Jerk Cousins: i’d be more worried about the humans players shove their appendages into (and keep around afterwards) than the dogs (singer would be appalled)

  15. goodfold2 says:
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    re: owen D vs miller at TE this week. you have owen 11th and miller 12th (which is pretty much what other experts are saying too), miller has much better matchup with TB, but owen is likely much bigger part of offense (albeit facing CAR defense)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: Right, that’s the gist.

  16. psssh says:
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    would you trade a minimum keeper in montee ($10 to keep, rbs go for $50 plus in our draft) and tony romo for drew brees?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @psssh: I would hold there.

  17. psssh says:
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    how long to you give a guy before you deem him droppable? 3 games, 4 games? i have toby, terrance williams, and colston burnin holes into my bench. who goes first?

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @psssh: it depends on what the expectations for those players are/were earlier, and more importantly who you’d be dropping them for.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @psssh: Yeah, depends on where I drafted them, but I try to let things marinate for at least a month before I think of making wholesale changes. Victor Cruz is a great example. That being said, I think Gerhert has been trash since the beginning.

  18. elaw77 says:
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    How about them menacing balls plopped on the table!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @elaw77: Doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue!

      • Elaw77 says:
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        @Jay:

        Just rewatched it. Gotta correct myself it was ‘furry balls plopped menacingly’ lol. Also Goodell-Bot had me rolling.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Elaw77: They could have done an entire episode with just the owners skype conference and I would have been in heaven.

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