Let’s take a look at this Week 14 we just looked at.
Maurice-Jones Drew: MJD had 6 touchdowns all season and today tacked on 4 more for good measure along with 136 total yards for extra good measuring. He has been a beast all season but on such a poor team it made it tough for him to get into the end zone. After all the worries about his knee (including me) he has played all season and stayed healthy while other running backs fell to the wayside. There’s a chance your team with MJD didn’t make the playoffs but if it did you are a very happy camper.
Rob Gronkowski: Gronk strong. Gronk do porno girl. Gronk smash ball. Gronk win fake football games for you. You like Gronk or Gronk smash ball in face!
Shonn Greene: That’s two big games in a row now and we have to start believing. Hopefully it’s not too late! He totaled 187 yards and a touchdown which is pretty damn impressive even against KC. The Jets get Philly next week and he’ll have another shot to bowl over defenses like he hasn’t done all season.
Brandon Jacobs: Ahmad Bradshaw forgot to get Coughlin’s face moisturizer and was benched the first half and Jacobs took advantage. He finished with 101 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns and very poor “dance” moves. He has scored in his last 3 games but this was by far his best game of the season.
Marques Colston: It looked like Drew Brees might not keep his touchdown streak going since he didn’t have one going into the 4th quarter but he hit Colston for 2 to help them win and keep his streak alive at 4o straight games with a touchdown pass. The record holder is Johnny Unitas with an amazing 47. That was of course before the league was protecting QBs and WRs like they were J-Lo’s booty. Oh and Colston had the best fantasy game for a receiver this week. Because that’s who we were supposed to be talking about here.
Laurent Robinson: Well, it looks like the whole Cowboys receiving crew got into the fun against the Giants but Robinson led the way once again with 137 yards and a touchdown. The targets break down as such: Austin 7, Robinson 5, Witten 5, Bryant 2, Phillips 1. All those guys except Witten got into the end zone but of course you can’t expect that to happen every week. It will be interesting to see how much time on the field Robinson got between Bryant and Austin but suffice it to say Romo likes throwing him the ball and good things happen when he does.
Tony Romo: His 21/31, 321 yds and 4 touchdown performance helped a lot of teams in their first playoff game of the season. After last week’s outing at Arizona it was a much needed improvement.
Matt Ryan: He put up similar numbers to Romo with 22/38, 320 yards and 4 touchdowns as well. He’s also been playing well except for running into the tough Texans pass defense last week. He’s had 20+ fantasy point games in 4 of his last 6 whereas he had none in his first 7. So that’s good news going into the fake playoffs to be sure.
Ryan Grant: Ugh, what in the H.E. double hockey sticks! This game was painful to watch. First off Aaron Rodgers threw a touchdown to the 9th different player this season. That’s nuts. Some guy named Taylor. He’s a tight end. Forget I told you. Then Grant runs for 85 yards and 2 touchdowns on 10 carries! 10 carries was what I expected but not the 2 touchdowns with it. I think that tripled their rushing TDs on the season.
Calvin Johnson: Megatron had 11 TDs in his first 8 games and 1 in his last 5. The dude had 8 in his first 4 games! Stafford has been spreading the ball around more and teams of course pay a ton of attention to CJ but against Minnesota you expect him to gain 100 yards and a touchdown for just walking on the field. Instead he finished with 40 total yards.
Chris Johnson: Just when you think you’re out they pull you back in. Or something like that. What the hell CJ? His 66 total yards wasn’t what you were looking for in the first round of the playoffs especially after he just went off old CJ style the 2 weeks prior! 11 for 23 on the ground? I don’t even want to do the math. But he gets Indianapolis next week. You suck CJ.
Arian Foster: Holy cow shizz. He had 15 carries to Ben Tate’s 8 and didn’t do as much with those as Tate did with his but anyway you look at it they didn’t run the ball enough for either to really get much. But this is Foster! The guy always gets his. Well, not this week unfortunately. I blame Kubiak.
Willis McGahee: He had 17 carries for a measly 34 yards. Willis has been able to consistently gain yardage when given the chance in almost all of his games this season but not against the Bears. He might have been Tebowed.
Michael Turner: I expected a big day from Turner but instead got 76 yards on 21 carries and no touchdowns. He had owned the Panthers in their 7 matchups to date. I guess we can’t pick on the Panthers run defense anymore after they shut down Blount and Turner in back to back weeks.
BenJarvus Green-Ellis: I didn’t expect much from him but I can see how owning him would cause a whole chest full of agita after his 5 carries for 19 yards.
Mike Williams: Dang, just when you thought it was safe to play him he reverts back to his 3 catch 35 yard ways. Josh Freeman is still hurting it seems and did not play well as the Bucs got smashed by the lowly Jags.
Brad Smith: This one is more for me who played Smith in a bunch of FanDuels. I really had a good feeling about him and of course the Bills completely sucked as they are wont to do. Smith did have 5 targets but only caught a big fat zero of them.
Demarco Murray: I had Murray and Bradshaw going in my money league so this is painful to delve back into! But I’ll do it for you the loyal Razzball reader. So Murray broke his friggin ankle and is done. That’s about it. Oh and Felix Jones put together a decent game with 137 total yards in relief and gets the Buccaneers next. The same Bucs that just gave up 4 touchdowns to MJD and about a million yards to every back they’ve faced. Suffice it to say you’ll be hearing plenty about Jones this week in fantasy circles.
Greg Jennings: Right now all rumors are pointing to him being out the rest of the regular season with a chance to come back for the postseason but like I said those are buoyed by rumors from the internets. I do doubt he’ll be able to help your team in the fantasy playoffs though. James Jones would most likely be the guy to pick up but Rodgers may throw a touchdown to my cat or something.
Jimmy Graham: The reverend Jimmy Graham had some back spasms and limped around and caught 5 balls for 55 yards and had a touchdown robbed from him. Robbed! No, not Robbed Gronkowski. That guy has plenty of TDs anyway.
Matt Moore: He had a mild concussion. That’s like a mild broken arm isn’t it? Anyway, he’ll probably be ok. And by ok I mean he’ll end up going insane in his old age.
Maurice Morris: He hurt his chest and anyone who started him. He played after getting injured but I’m not optimistic that he’ll hold much value going forward with Kevin Smith hopefully coming back soon. Please!
Brandon Saine: The Saine lighting was not caught in a bottle like Starks lightning last season. He left the game with a concussion and Grant played so well that Saine won’t be a viable fantasy play even if healthy.
Matt Hasselbeck: He hurt his achilles but came back into the game for a play in the 4th quarter but Jake Locker looked much more nimble and well, inspiring. (I may have contracted the Tebow)