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Welcome to my week 5 rankings! I am going to keep it short tonight because I’m having technical issues and I have to write this on my phone. I really need to get a new phone, ever since I saw Zoolander I’ve always had a tiny phone. Earth to Matilda! 

I messed QBs up royally last week, but the other positions went pretty well. I need to center my chakras for the fellers that take the snaps from the centers. I was bullish on Patrick Mahomes but that damn Bill Belichick threw a lot of mixed coverages at him and it didn’t quite work out the way that I had hoped. Kyler Murray also might be human, and that is not good. At least he can run the ball! Without further ado, here are my rankings for week 5!