I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:
Atlanta Falcons (+3) at Carolina Panthers
Forecast: The streak is alive and well! I’m like the Adam Gase of picking Thursday night games—0-17 here we come. On this week’s Thursday night touch fest we have a mismatch of predators. How is a falcon supposed to compete with a panther? Normally the falcon doesn’t stand a chance, but this flock has a secret weapon: The Toddfather. Having lost to the Panthers at home back in week five, the Toddfather will be looking to serve up his cold dish of revenge. And even while wearing his two gloves, Teddy won’t be able to handle the frigid dish—a recipe which great-great-great-grandmama Gurley first served to great-great-great-grandpapa Gurley. Look for a vintage Todd Gurley four touchdown line as the Falcons peck away at the Panthers in primetime. Falcons 42, Panthers 24
Wager: Falcons +3 (4 Units)
2020 Season: 0-7 (-11.55 Units)
Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 8 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:
*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a 7 -day free trial and then only $17.95 for the full season.
