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Seriously. I could not wait for Monday Night Football just to listen to the absolute nonsense from Jason Witten and Booger McFarland, the latter of which should be prepared for someone in the crowd to black out and see a table on top of the #BoogerMobile. But despite that disaster of a football game taking place, let’s look back at at some of the action from Sunday’s games…

Browns @ Steelers

Ok I really want to just spend this entire segment railing against Cleveland management. I said before the season that Baker Mayfield couldn’t be corrupted by any coaching staff except for Hue Jackson. Well it looks like we are on our way to Hue ruining a can’t-miss QB. Jackson is probably the worst coach in NFL history, yet somehow it’s OC Todd Haley that is on the hot seat? I just don’t get it. (Editors Note: Hue Jackson AND Todd Haley were both fired. Cleveland went on to be classic Cleveland and made Gregg Williams the interim HC… in 2018… with a rookie QB… Genius.) How stupid. Anyways, the game itself wasn’t very kind to the offense. Baker finished with 185 yards passing and 2 TD’s along with an INT. Nick Chubb was pretty mediocre as he finished the game with 65 yards on just 18 carries. Receiving-wise, everything was short. I’m not being snarky here either. Jarvis Landry had 8 catches for 39 yards on Sunday. That’s actually impressive even by Jarvis Landry standards. Antonio Callaway had 5 receptions for 36 yards and a score in this one. Again, there was not a whole lot of downfield passing going on.

The Steelers were a 2.5 man show in this rainy game that never felt close. Ben Roesthlisberger represents the .5 of that total as he finished with a rather pedestrian 257 yards passing and 2 TD’s with one INT. James Conner was a beast again. He had 146 yards rushing and 66 yards receiving as well as 2 TD’s. Antonio Brown was the only Steeler WR to really produce. He finished the game with 74 receiving yards and 2 TD’s. It really came down to Connor just running over the Browns in this one.

Redskins @ Giants

Alex Smith continues to put up below-average numbers at the QB position. He finished the contest with 178 passing yards and a lone TD pass to Adrian Peterson. AP had himself a day. The generational talent of the mid-2000’s finished the day running for just under 150 yards and a TD as well as that previously mentioned receiving TD. How he is still doing it in 2018 is actually incredible. Outside of AP, there was nothing really of note from the Washington offense. We should point out that Jordan Reed had 12 targets in this game, making him a buy-low candidate for DFS in the next game Washington plays.

The Giants are a mess. Eli Manning actually put up OK numbers, but the lack of a vertical passing attack and teams just sitting on the Saquon Barkley and shutting it all down. Barkley had a really hard time running the ball in this on. He finished with just 38 yards rushing in this game but was able to gain 73 yards through the air on 9 catches (Captain Eli Checkdown back at it). The lone WR to actually do well in this entire game was Odell Beckham Jr. OBJ ended the match with 136 yards on 8 catches and 11 targets. Of note that Evan Engram scored a TD in his first game back from injury as he amassed 25 yards on 5 catches.

Packers @ Rams

We were all cheated of the potential comeback opportunity for Aaron Rodgers because Ty Montgomery did unspeakable things on that kickoff return (the amount of drama surrounding Montgomery from this game has me thinking he will not be on the roster for when the Pack travel to Foxboro for SNF next week). Rodgers finished the game with 286 yards and a TD while not turning the ball over. The RB split was very heavy in favor of Aaron Jones (called that during my look-ahead from Friday) as he had 12 carries for 86 yards and a TD. He just looked like the better back. Receiving-wise, Davante Adams was a star. He had 133 yards on 5 catches and 7 targets. Marquez Valdes-Scantling brought in a 40-yard TD and finished with 45 yards on the game. MVS had 5 targets in the game, which was 2nd on the team.

The Rams were exactly how you’d expect a Rams box score to look like. Jared Goff had 295 yards and 3 TD’s in this one as he surgically marched down the field often in the 2nd half. Todd Gurley was a beast in PPR leagues as he had 114 yards on the ground in addition to 81 yards receiving and a TD. Brandin Cooks had 3 catches for 74 yards here, but did have 8 targets which led the team. Important to note Robert Woods had 5 catches and 70 yards receiving in this one. In replacement duties for Cooper Kupp being out, Josh Reynolds scooped up 42 yards and 2 TD’s on 3 catches in this one. More of an outlier than something to expect going forward.

Seahawks @ Lions

What the hell was this game?

Russell Wilson didn’t even have to throw the ball all that much. He only put it in the air 17 times, yet somehow had 248 passing yards and 3 TD’s. The RB split in this game somewhat gives you all you need to know about this backfield. Chris Carson has dominated the carries since he’s been healthy and Sunday was no different. Carson finished with 25 carries for 10 yards and a TD. For the receiving group, David Moore (who?) had 4 catches for 97 yards and a score in this one. Ed Dickson showed signs of life as he had 2 catches for 54 yards and a score. Tyler Lockett also found the end zone as he put together a 2-34-1TD statline.

Matt Stafford ended the game with 310 yards and 2 TD’s as well as a pick as they were playing catchup the entire game. Kerryon Johnson did not see a whole bunch of carries, but he had the bulk of the rushes the Lions did end up having. Johnson had 69 yards (nice) receiving on 6 catches. This was the Marvin Jones game as he had 7 catches for 117 yards and 2 TD’s. Golden Tate finished this game with 7 catches and 50 yards, but more importantly had 12 targets.

49ers @ Cardinals

This entire game was gross. Just absolutely disgusting. So I’m only going to find the positives and talk about those.

Larry Fitzgerald had 102 yards and a TD on 8 receptions in this one. Hopefully you were still playing him. David Johnson had 41 yards receiving on 4 catches and then added 59 yards rushing on 16 carries. It was good to see them spread him out and try different things. Josh Rosen was hot garbage in the first 3 quarters. Then he somehow put together a stat line at the end of the game with 252 yards passing and 2 TD’s and an INT.

Marquise Goodwin had a 55 yards TD catch in this one and George Kittle had 8 targets for 57 yards. That’s it for SF. There was a whole lot of nothing going on out there for the 49ers in this one.