They probably root for the Mest as well. Just a wild guess.
The season is now in full swing, with the first Sunday of football for 2014 season bringing us a fantastic slate of games. Do you want action? Do you want drama? Do you want romance? I WANT ALL OF THESE THINGS. Well, then I present to you the Raiders versus the Jets. Haha, just kidding… but this is week one… I wouldn’t have really minded that being the premier match-up, for at least a few minutes. Honestly, what can you say about Jets that would excite anyone? And what can you say about that Raiders that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan? Nada, to use a parlance of our times.
So, I’m sitting Cam Newton today, but this is a badly written tweet. I mean, it seems excessive to sit him for 15 weeks… but don’t worry, he feels good! (And just FYI, tight ends are a back-up quarterbacks best friend. Cough-cough Greg Olsen. Um. Cough.)
Cecil Shorts III (or I guess CS3) is out with a hamstring injury for Jacksonville’s game against Philadelphia. He was downgraded to questionable yesterday, but it was evident he wasn’t going to play when he didn’t fly with the team. Or maybe this is like a Home Alone type of situation and he needed to weaponize his house.
Yesterday, the NFL and NFLPA reached a tentative agreement on hGH appeals, but there hasn’t been any movement on the league’s request that it be able to impose a suspension for player DUI arrests before the legal case is resolved.
“Per a league source, a tentative agreement has been reached on the lingering-for-months dispute over the question of whether discipline for PED and hGH violations arising from something other than a positive test would be appealed via third-party arbitration or to Commissioner Roger Goodell.
Source says earliest a new drug policy will be finalized is Monday or Tuesday. Existing suspensions will stand for Week One..”
I asked my lawyer what all this meant and he told me to keep Josh Gordon on the bench. What a guy.
Antonio Gates apparently tweaked his hamstring yesterday morning during practice, and of this writing, is listed as “Questionable” and probably 50-50 to play.
Andre Ellington, by some reports, is listed to be out 4-6 weeks, or a probably start, or contracting dysentery. Actually, scratch that, this is all on the same report. Sigh. From what I’ve been able to gather (besides berries, haha caveman jokes) is that Ellington is now a game-time decision and that Bruce Arians is “not at all” concerned that he will miss an extended period of time.
And, to no ones surprise, Kenny Stills is out this week, and if you are a fan of bells AND cows, it appears that Rashad Jennings might be your cup of tea. Or Dr. Pepper. I have no idea what you like to drink.
Just as a reminder, my Week One rankings can be found here, and they were updated this morning.
Early Games
Saints vs. Falcons – Last time I checked, the O/U was 946,504.5. I still feel like taking the over here.
Vikings vs. Rams – Let the Shaun Hill Ram era commence! Wait, where is everyone going?
Browns vs. Steelers – The much anticipated debut of Johnny Manziel holding a clipboard.
Jaguars vs. Eagles – Maybe Chip Kelly could innovate the Jaguars into something watchable.
Raiders vs. Jets – GAME OF THE WEEK FOLKS.
Bengals vs. Ravens – Ginger and Flacco. Hmm. Flacco Ginger. Oooo, that sounds like a really cool nickname. For a X-Wing pilot. Who is also a gay porn star.
Bills vs. Bears – The Bears have the offense… but do they have any kind of defense? I guess we’ll just have to have some Trestman. (See what I did there? Look closely, you might have missed it. Keep looking. Actually, now that I’m looking at it, that makes little sense.)
Washington Football Team vs. Texans – I’m not sure what to think of this game until RG3 tweets me his thoughts.
Titans vs. Chiefs – I was going to write something charming and witty here, but Andy Reid ate my blurb. And then used all of his timeouts.
Patriots vs. Dolphins – Tom Brady is listed as “Questionable”, but I think that’s more to do about his character after slipping Wes Welker a molly.
Never get high from your own supply Dreamboat…
