Fantasy football will always be the best distraction in my life and I love that I get to share it with you guys. I love answering your questions in the comments, I love chatting about the game. I’m like your own personal fantasy football Mr. Meseeks. But sometimes we need to focus on real life and share on that front too… So back when Mulan originally came out in 1998, McDonalds released a special Szechuan sauce to coincide with the movie. And then it was brutally and forcefully ripped from our hands by big corporations that don’t care about the little people. Fast forward 20 years, where cartoons and a lot of nagging on Twitter can change things (OK, let’s be real, nothing every gets resolved on Twitter). The cult of Rick and Morty fans, rabid after a season 3 premiere where Rick refers to the magical Mulan McNugget sauce as his “one-armed man”, intersect with the announcement of a live action Mulan movie and the snowball gets rolling. To the point where McDonald’s gives away a few large containers of the special sauce to the creators and a few lucky fans, one jug of which apparently got up to $4,000 in bidding on eBay, and we now get a special day on October 7th where certain McDonald’s location will have a limited supply of sauce. I bring this up for two reasons. One – someone help a brother stranded in Iowa cornfields out and send me some of this stuff. Two – in spite of the bigger societal issues, if we band together and focus on distractive efforts (like fantasy football or the commenter community here at Razzball), we can do anything. Hopefully with extra sauce. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers process on Thursday. The bye weeks are here and the dives get a little deeper, but you’re in the trust tree Frank. I got ya. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop!

Carson Palmer It’s a long trip to Philly for old man Palmer who has as many TDs as picks on the year. But this rushing attack for the Cardinals is total Barbrady – nothing to see here, move along. At 57 rushing yards per game, the Cardinals rank dead last in the league, so they will need to find other ways to move the ball. Good thing the Eagles are third worst in the league in passing yards allowed per game at 285. With 325+ yards in each of his last three matchups, Palmer is in a number of my lineups this week. Look for lots of Larry.

Jacoby Brissett Well, the Colts made Sunday night versus the Seahawks interesting for a half. But like the Redskins Defense pick, gotta play all 4 quarters to make it a winner. Brissett draws the 49ers at home this week who have been hit and miss to say the very least. We aren’t going to get Deshaun Watson production from last week (hey, if we’re bringing up the bad calls, let’s recall some of the good too), but can we get Jacoby 250 and a pair of TDs? He could easily add the equivelant of another passing TD with his legs and should be a serviceable option for those that going deep fishing.

Evan Engram 60% owned in Yahoo leagues? Child please.

Austin Sefarin-Jenkins – #BecauseBrowns. If Tyler Kroft can hit paydirt twice against the Browns, there should be at least one in the chamber for ASJ. So long as McCown doesn’t have horrible Factory of Sadness flashbacks being back in Cleveland, this should be a matchup worth rolling the bones on.

Tyler Kroft It’s not a great week for TE streamers really. And while Kroft might have been a product of a soft Brownie matchup, I think he could still find himself in a reasonably productive this position this week. We’ve seen signs of life lately from Andy Dalton and while the D is the only thing seemingly working in Buffalo besides Charles Clay (now 81% owned and no longer eligible for this column), you could still easily see a 4 for 50 stat line with an above average chance to score. Which is more than you could say for a Jared Cook, Jesse James, or a Julius Thomas.

Cincinatti D/ST – Tagging onto the Clay comment, Buffalo is struggling on offense. Despite his minuscule stats, losing Jordan Matthews hurts. Zay Jones has been atrocious this season, and the Bills need to find a third option outside of McCoy and Clay. The Bengals are third best in the league in passing yards allowed per game. Enter Tyrod Taylor who has yet to surpass 225 yards passing this year and you have to like that. The big thing for the Bengals I think will be keeping Lesean under wraps. Sorry Bills Mafia, you know I love you.

Detroit D/ST – I know this is the Cam Newton that everyone else loves – the god awful wardrobe choices, the 300 yard passing games, the brilliant comments to female reporters…. OK, maybe not so much the last one. But people are back on board with Cam. Personally, I love pouty Cam. When he’s getting knocked around. When he’s throwing picks. And I think both could be the case for him this weekend against the Lions. I’m really hoping that Jerrad Davis gets back on the field after missing 2 weeks with a concussion. This game features two of the five teams in the league that average over 32 minutes of possession each game, which could mean the clocks keep moving and we don’t see as many explosive plays.

John Christian Ka’iminoeauloameka’ikeokekumupa’a “Ka’imi” Fairbairn – Yes, I copied that directly from Wikipedia. No, I do not know how to pronounce it. No, I’m not going to try. Yes, he’s hit a 40+ yarder in his last 3 games, including a 50+ yarder last week. What else do you need to know? Play away.

  1. KMoney911 says:
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    Week 5*

    • EasyE

      EasyE says:
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      @KMoney911: Thank you. I blame the large line of Kalaxian crystals.

  2. Noam Levenson says:
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    I appreciate the post!

    I’ve got a lineup questions for you:
    PPR League
    Who would you go with for two RB and one flex? Between: Thielen, Abdullah, J. Howard, Mixon, J. White?

    Thanks

    • EasyE

      EasyE says:
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      @Noam Levenson: Thanks Noam. I appreciate the compliment and the question.

      I’m rolling Howard and Mixon fo sho. As for the flex, my heart says Abdullah. Practiced fully today, I don’t see even with the ankle stuff that the Lions want to put the genie back in the bottle. They want to keep him rolling off a good game last week. Though it is entirely possible we see the Riddick 8 for 85 and a TD game and Ameer ends up 80 total yards with 5 catches. But isn’t that kind of what we expect from Thielen? As far as White, I think he could see some volume tonight, but I can’t put Ameer back on the bench after what I saw last weekend.

      • Noam Levenson says:
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        @EasyE:

        Good stuff! Thank you

        • Noam Levenson says:
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          @Noam Levenson: Does the news that Gronkowski is out give White an up over Abdullah or Thielen?

  3. Chucky says:
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    Abdullah or Crowell? At some point Crowell has to get carries, no?

    • EasyE

      EasyE says:
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      @Chucky: Hey Chucky.

      Abdullah fo sho. Crowell has been trash this year and I’d rather wait to see him go off. I know Abdullah has a seemingly tough matchup in the Panthers (on the ground held Shady under 10 yards, held Hyde to under 50, Patriots backs as a whole to 80), but the Panthers are vulnerable to pass catching backs (an RB in each of those games listed had at least 6 catches or more). But Crowell is 2.9 yards a tote, and while the Jets are one of their better chances for a positive gamescript, I can’t play him over Ameer.

  4. Scott P says:
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    Can I fast forward to week 6? I lose Russel Wilson next week and don’t carry a bench QB, With the injury to Gronk, my streamer bench slot went to Charles Clay. I’d like to grab a QB before the rush of next week’s waivers. I can choose from Cousins vs. San Fran, Goff vs. Jax, Palmer vs. Tampa and Siemian vs. NY Giants.

    I’d have to drop Fat Rob to pick him up. I have Ajayi, Hunt, Mixon and Kamara ahead of him now, so he will hopefully never see a starting slot on my roster. Scoring is standard with all TDs worth 6pts.

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