This was the only game highlight worth showcasing. Seriously.
I could have watched Fear Factor re-runs and come away with the same general feelings that I left with at the end of this game. In true Thursday Night Football fashion, I wasn’t quite sure what I was watching, and at what approximate time the 49ers actually showed up. I’m pretty sure it was around the third quarter, but my memory of that moment is fuzzy at best, and they must have left quickly thereafter. Maybe they were never there to begin with? (Not that it would have made any difference.) I think it’s fair to say that the Seahawks problem still exist, but lucky for them, teams like the 49ers exist to allow a reprieve comparable to a bye week and the almighty sports term “momentum” to be built. Now, that won’t solve Seattle’s long-term problem of their away jerseys looking like they accidentally washed them with their home jersey’s, but a win here is a start. And look, Jim Tomsula may not be the best rookie coach out there, but I swear to God, he did an absolute fantastic job cleaning my windshield the other day… (And by the way, that was three Pearl Jam songs CBS played last night, for those keeping score at home.)
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Doug Baldwin – 2 REC, 19 YDS. If Doug Baldwin grabbed the nickname “Dougernaut” before it could catch on with Doug Martin, it’d be the best troll job of the year. I mean, he’d have to manage more than two catches, but you know, a man can dream.
Anquan Boldin – 3 REC, 39 YDS. Maybe someone should tell Boldin that if he can’t outrun a linebacker, he shouldn’t be playing. Not… not me though. Someone else can do that.
Reggie Bush – 4 CAR, 21 YDS and 3 REC, 13 YDS. Screens to Reggie Bush… they’ll never see it coming!
Jimmy Graham – 2 REC, 31 YDS. It’s like once he got to Seattle, Jimmy never played basketball… ever.
Carlos Hyde – 11 CAR, 40 YDS. THIS 49ERS OFFENSE, I CALL THEM “THE SELECT COMMITTEE ON BENGHAZI”, BECAUSE THEY’RE REALLY CONSERVATIVE AND THEY’RE REALLY EMBARRASSING TO WATCH.
Colin Kaepernick – 12/21, 117 YDS. We secretly replaced Colin Kaepernick with Josh Freeman. Let’s see if anyone noticed! Welcome back, Colin. Your brief flirtation with moderate competence last week was quite amusing…
Marshawn Lynch – 23 CAR, 100 YDS, 1 TD. Should we talk about the fact that the Seahawks seemed to be pretty blasé about Marshawn Lynch throwing up in the first quarter during an entire series? Or was it because he’d just seen Darrell Bevell’s playbook?
Russell Wilson – 17/23, 233 YDS, 1 TD, 2 INT and 4 CAR, 23 YDS. I feel bad for Ciara. She’s the only one who can’t grab Russell Wilson’s balls.
Final Thought
My experience of last night’s game…
