Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. The monotony of repetition quickly bores me. For the last ten weeks I have been writing the same post. Different players, same game. Well today I’m saying f-ck it and I’m zigging when I normally zag. They’ve sent in a run play, but I’m calling an audible and throwing the ball down field. If I’m putting my cards on the table, the last four times I’ve done this I’ve thrown three incomplete passes and an interception.

For those that are actually looking for my weekly waiver wire lineup of misfits, I’d hate to disappoint. These guys combined for 177.94 points. I was going to say that they combined for 206.24 points and see if any of you actually bothered to check my math. I’m betting that no one would have caught on.

QB: Joe Flacco (24.14, 31) – Called it, but wouldn’t own.
RB: C.J. Prosise (18.8, 34) – Must own with Michael being waived.
RB: Bilal Powell (18.4, 43) – Own him if you own Forte.
WR: Tyreek Hill (15.1, 16) – Second time in three weeks he’s made this list. Currently the top WR in KC.
WR: Jeremy Kerley (14.6, 9) – Have been better than Brandon Marshall, Julian Edelman and Jeremy Maclin
WR: Steve Smith Sr. (14.5, 66) – Averaging more receptions and yards per game than DeAndre Hopkins.
TE: Cameron Brate (17.9, 52) – As Tony the Tiger would say. He’s Brrrate!
FL: Damien Williams (14.5, 3) – Leave on wire.
PK: Dustin Hopkins (16, 12)
DST: Tampa Bay (24, 6)

And now we move away from our regularly scheduled programming to bring you the following message.

For some reason I feel like giving you my current positional rankings. These rankings are based mostly on year-to-date performances. For those of you that are familiar with my work here over the last few years you might remember the Stats Machine posts. These rankings are also influenced by ever evolving Stats Machine, which is currently under going optimization enhancement therapy.


Drew Brees – Tied with Matt Ryan for lead in passing touchdowns (24). Call me the breeze!
Tom Brady – Not one receiver in the top twenty (see below).
Matt Ryan – Leads the league in passing yards (3247)
Ben Roethlisberger
Aaron Rodgers – That’s right, I have him at the five spot.
Phillip Rivers
Carson Palmer
Kirk Cousins – The Stats Machine actually had Captain Kirk in the five spot, but I executed a manual override.
Andrew Luck – So much for luck.
Derek Carr

Running Back

David Johnson – Proving why he was a top draft pick.
Ezekiel Elliot – Leads the league in rushing yards (1005) and yards per game (111.67).
Le’Veon Bell – Leads the league in receptions (45) despite playing only 6 games.
DeMarco Murray – Averaging 93 yards rushing per game and has 10 touchdowns in 10 games.
Melvin Gordon – Leads the league in rushing attempts (217).
LeSean McCoy
Latavius Murray
LeGarrette Blount – Leads the league in rushing touchdowns (12).
Matt Forte
Jay Ajayi – Averaging 90.63 yards rushing per game.
Tevin ColemanDevonta Freeman anyone?
Theo Riddick – Leads running backs with 4 receiving touchdowns.

Wide Receiver

Antonio Brown – Leads the league in receptions (69).
Mike Evans – Leads the league in targets (108). Tied with Jordy for most receiving touchdowns (8).
A.J. Green
Julio Jones – Leads the league in receiving yards.
Jordy Nelson – See Mike Evans.
Odell Beckham Jr.
Larry Fitzgerald
Brandin Cooks
Davante Adams
T.Y. Hilton
Stefon Diffs
Michael Crabtree – Ranked higher the Amari Cooper.
Michael Thomas
Amari Cooper – Ranked lower than Michael Crabtree.
Demaryius Thomas
Allen Robinson
Doug Baldwin – Pretty sure his 3 touchdown gave him the bump he needed to make this list.
Willie Snead IV – Three Saints made the top twenty. No wonder Brees is the top ranked QB.
Mike Wallace
Jamison Crowder – This guy had better be owned!

Tight End

Greg Olsen – Leads all tight ends in receptions (50) and receiving yards (712).
Rob Gronkowski – I think having another top ten TE on his team is what cost him the top spot.
Delanie Walker – Tied for lead in touchdowns (5).
Jimmy Graham
Jordan Reed
Tyler Eifert
Martellus Bennett
Kyle Rudolph – Tied for lead in touchdowns (5).
Cameron Brate – Tied for lead in touchdowns (5).
Antonio Gates – Tied for lead in touchdowns (5).
Travis Kelce
Jason Witten

Agree or disagree these are my rankings. Or maybe this is just what I want you to think so that I can get those of you that in my leagues to leave my players alone. Jay, are we allowed to purposely mislead the readers for our own benefit? You don’t have to answer that, I know the drill.

I almost forgot. For those that want to know who I’m picking for next week’s list, here you go.

QB: Tyrod Taylor and Brock Osweiler
RB: James Starks and Dion Lewis (if he plays)
WR: Davante Parker, Eli Rogers, Jamison Crowder and Anquan Boldin
TE: Dennis Pitta and Zach Miller