Greetings! It’s been so long since we’ve been with one another, here on the only fantasy site that truly unites people like only a game of leap frog played by naked men could do. If we’re being honest here, my life has been empty and inconsequential without you. First, it was a much needed vacation after leaving a mental health facility. Then it was a new job accompanied by the sort of sickness I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy (except Ralph). There’s only so many weeks in the fantasy football season, and with each post missed, it feels as if a piece of my soul has been torn out and stomped on by Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne right after they hit the “All you can eat Shrimpfest” at Red Lobster. Even now, as I write this, tears are flowing down my cheekbones like urine down the face of one of R. Kelly’s 14-year-old girlfriends. I need you! If only the Elders would bless me with the attributes one needs to become a successful writer so that I could quit the ridiculously lame job I started that has ruined whatever life I had left. But you’ve got to be realistic about these things…

I am Tehol Beddict and this is, Through the Wire… That doesn’t sound right, does it? I miss Disgrace/Delight. Oh well, TAKE HEED!


Fantasy Football Rankings powered by FantasyPros

David Johnson – Somehow, already a top-20 fantasy RB in my big play bonus league, ‘The Big D’ is in line to take over as the feature back in Arizona for the foreseeable future. Andre Ellington is out with turf toe, which could possibly end his season, and Chris “Little” Johnson is more than likely out for the season with a fractured tibia. Cardinals faithful are dropping to their knees quicker than a Kardashian at a BET Awards show after party, praying that injuries don’t ruin yet another season. Don’t fret, my bitter rivals, for Johnson already has seven touchdowns with limited touches and I am predicting an explosion this week against a beleaguered Rams defense. It’s true, I haven’t been this intrigued with a Johnson since Bieber let it all hang out in Bora Bora. Say one thing for Justin Bieber, you don’t want your significant other taking that tubesteak, for you’ll never see her/him again.

 

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Doug Baldwin –  Dougie Fresh went HAM and grits as if he were at the Waffle House on a Saturday night, going off for 145 yards and three tubs. Jimmy Graham is done for the year… give me a few minutes while I pour out a little liquor for the Seahawks Super Bowl hopes… This is just like when we dumped Percy Harvin last year…. Hold on a tick! WE WERE BETTER WITHOUT HARVIN. Maybe, just maybe, the same will ring true this time around… ALSO, I believe I wrote this very thing about Baldwin last season after Harvin was shipped out, thinking Baldwin would HAVE to produce top-20 numbers simply based on the fact the rest of the receiving core was pure gutter trash. Yes, folks, I have been wrong before. Hard to believe, I know, but Baldwin has now put up monster performances in two out of his past three games, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt… Jimmy effing Graham… WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Why do the Elder Gods torture me to no end? Does it ever end?

Tyler Lockett –  Again, with Graham down, someone’s going to have to step up, so why not get the young mongoose involved? Lockett is the 32nd ranked WR in ESPN leagues (that count return yardage) and I expect some more big plays out of him as the Seahawks attempt to use their talons and claw their way back into the playoffs. Nice upside big-play guy if desperate for sure. Not desperate like Christian Slater offering to drop and grab his ankles to take a pounding to get the lead in a Valtrex commercial desperate, but, you know, regular desperate.

C.J. Anderson – I remember certain fantasy writers saying that it was okay to drop C.J. Anderson a month or so ago… You see, I would never do this, as I’m absolutely too stubborn to ever drop a first or second round pick, NO MATTER WHAT! I mean, some of you (and me) carried Christine Michael all season, yet Anderson isn’t even owned in 80 percent of leagues, and that includes all the free ones where nobody is paying attention… The guy looked incredible against New England Sunday night, jump cutting through the snow like a slalom skier on his way to a gold medal at the Olympic games. Son was absolutely filthy! So either breh is finally healthy, or he only runs well in the snow… He’s back to being a must-start from this point forward… Just in time for the fantasy playoffs… Wait… you didn’t trade him for Brian Hartline and a McChicken, did you? DISGRACE.

Vance McDonald – Wow, the Niners really got a steal in the 2nd round of the… 2013 NFL Draft… WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM!? Dude went from Emilio Estevez to Brad Pitt overnight! Seriously, two weeks ago, against my beloved Seahawks, Vance Romance caught four balls for 65 yards and a tubber. I thought it must have been the peyote when I added up his season totals and realized those 65 yards were more than he totaled the entire season! He was also scoreless before that… Am I still high, or did that ACTUALLY HAPPEN? And then he surpassed those numbers the following week, hauling in six grabs for 71 yards and ANOTHER TD! Is it possible the 49ers GM, Trent Baalke, isn’t a moronic toolshed? I wouldn’t go that far, but this McDonald can plough my farm any day of the week and twice on Sundays. E-I-E-I-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alex SmithAlex Smith was ranked 13th at his position on ESPN before dismantling the Buffalo Bills secondary this past Sunday, and it only gets easier from here on out. He gets to face off with the 29th, 25th, 19th, and again the 29th ranked pass defenses in four out of Chiefs’ next five games. There’s a game against Baltimore mixed in their, who’s ranked 11th in pass defense, but I’m pretty sure I just witnessed Josh McCown and Austin Davis treat them like a yacked-out Lohan on a street corner. Seriously, Smith is an extremely solid option going down the stretch and if you, like myself, have been dealing with bums like Matt Ryan all season, I highly suggest you cut bait and go with the hot hand. I’m throbbing in anticipation.

Bishop Sankey – Just kidding.

Jerick McKinnon – If you’re an Adrian Peterson owner, now is the time to grab McKinnon. We are a week or two away from all the fantasy playoffs and the one thing you can’t handle is losing one of your stallions and not having a backup plan. We all witnessed what happened when Charlie Sheen got booted from Two and a Half Men. Don’t get caught with your pants down like Elton John, backstage at the Teen choice awards in 2003. Trust me, I was there….

DeVante Parker – The Dolphins season is officially over and Parker finally showed a pulse, albeit in garbage time. But still, Miami needs to see what they have here, you know, considering they drafted dude with the 12th overall pick, when they obviously have numerous needs and maybe shouldn’t  have drafted an incredibly fragile wideout. I’d love to see Parker emerge doing down the stretch here. I’d swoop him up this week and see if he gets a ton of looks. Sometimes we have to take shots in the dark in order to see the light.

 

 

Thank you for joining me for my first waiver wire post of the year. I’d like to thank Ralph Lipshitz for taking a leave of absence to take care of my children and baby mother in this important period of growth. It takes a real man to take care of my children, especially when their dongs are already bigger than his. With that being said, your questions and comments will be responded to below as per usual. I very much look forward to reading them as it’s been far to long. It’s good to be back.

Post dedicated to my Grandpa Win, who died on Monday at the age of 93. May you join the Elders and smoke the peace pipe with us by the fire. Gone but not forgotten.

  1. Nightmare says:
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    Tehol my dude!! I have some tough decisions in a must win week.

    Forte (SF) Stewart (NO) McCoy (HOU)—-pick 2

    Kelce (OAK) or Julius Thomas (Tenn)

    Steelers D (vs IND) or Jets D (NYG)

    Hauschka vs Minn or pick up someone like Boswell

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nightmare: what up cuuuz!? I’d go Stewart no question and hen probably mccoy

      • Nightmare says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: bro u didn’t answer my other questions lol it’s a must win week Tehol!!!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Nightmare: oh shit hahaha.

          Kelce
          jets
          Haushka should be a bunch of field goals there

  2. Zach

    Zach says:
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    I hear Bishop Sankey is a big sleeper

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zach: sleeping with the fishes and my brother Brys

  3. Citizen5 says:
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    TE: Drop Z. Miller for Chandler on waivers tonight?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Citizen5: sure why not. Bennett may be back this week so hit up Chandla Bing

  4. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Your welcome Tehol!

    Serious question where did their size come from? My wife says it wasn’t from you.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: my mothers side of the family. She’s half black

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: That’s funny I thought she just liked getting black…balled.

  5. Superfly says:
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    Hello Mr. Tehol, PPR league…starting 1 qb, 2 rb’s, 2 wr’s, 1 te , 1 rb/wr and 1 wr/te…..starters: C. Pamer, A. Peterson and G. Bernard, A. Robinson and J. Landry, D. Walker, B. Cooks and L. Fitzgerald…Bench: Tannenhill , Abbullah, J. Mckinnon, F. Gore, V. Jackson and Desean Jackson….Would trade D. Jackson and G. Bernard for Deangelo Williams…Stay put.. Or am I off my rocker???? I am locked into a playoff slot…..Any suggestions appreciated…Thanks, Dude……

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Superfly: I’d probably hold bruh. It’s ppr and Bernard the man for that and d jax just getting started. With that being said I suppose Williams COULD be a bit more consistent but it’s not a move that I would make myself but I’m a flashy type a dude ya feel me

  6. Scooter G says:
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    Hey Tehol

    Can you pick the best wr Ros and best te until gronk gets back?

    S Diggs. James Jones, Aiken, Stevie Johnson, D Baldwin, moncrief,

    Ebron, l green, C Fillmore, s Chandler

    Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Scooter G: I’d probably go Stevie or Baldwin but I need to see Chargers schedule again. Leaning Baldwin and I’d just grab chandler Bing until GRONK comes back

  7. STL says:
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    Would you take Julius Thomas over Delanie Walker or Jordan Reed in PPR ROS?

    Walker and Reed both have some pretty tough playoff matchups.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @STL: ehhhh probably not. It’s intriguing but dude had one good game.reed a ppr monster

    • Mobin Can't Hack It says:
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      @STL: walker and reed routinely put up top 6 numbers, JT had one decent game.

  8. Duck Butta says:
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    12 team 1 pt ppr playoff starts week 14.

    Trade my Arob and Stew for their Cooper and Ingram?

    Thoughts

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Duck Butta: hmmmmm is probably hold but ill need to analyze all the match ups. Give me a minute

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Duck Butta: no way. im holding for sure after looking at all schedules involved

  9. Valeryiansteel says:
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    I was worried your veins turned cold and your eyes blue, like our boy martavis-white walker-bryant..

    Dilemma. Teams turned belly up as my guys unfortunately all got hurt, went from powerhouse to the team that has to get lucky to win. Oh well. So is life.

    Looks like you’re rolling tanny here over bortles? I don’t disagree but I also own lamar miller and don’t want too much exposure to that offense (I have to start lamar, lost Forsett and didn’t have the faab$ to get buck Allen)

    That said…. I’ve been on the tight end carousel for a good long 3 years in fantasy football. Man this position is straight crap. Next year I’m ponying up the $10
    To get Greg Olsen..back on track to the point above. I picked up Julius Thomas and also own Martellus bennet.. So if I didn’t go tannehill/miller it’d be bortles/Julius.. (My team is like a cheap ass dfs stack)

    I’m still a guranteed playoff team but a win this week and I might get a first round bye, so it’s a combo of playing for next week and trying to win now. Would you hold and play either bills d or detroits d (I’m
    Currently holding for their playoff schedules) or pick up the Bears, jets or Vikings for this week?

    Thanks. Hope all is well. Winter is coming (or is it already here?)

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Valeryiansteel: Not a white walker quite yet, thank the Gods! it was a close call but my hounds are healed and I’ve arrived to serve thee. I love Bortles in fantasy every week but Titans decent pass defense and at home and desperate for a win. that being said the Jags throw a ton and Bortles will put up numbers. totally fine with decision of starting him over Tanny
      Cheap ass DFS stack LMAOOOOO. Bears d interesting this week. but id probably just hold what you got. i may think about chopping Detroit tho for a streamer.

      WINTER IS HERE

  10. Whattodo says:
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    I own Antonio, Alshon, Dez and martavis bryant.. Domo diversify and start Antonio/Alshon and Dez or domo bench dez bryant for martavis

    Will the real bryant please stand up?

    • Whattodo says:
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      @Whattodo: do I diversify *

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Whattodo: Domo arigato! id probably go antonio alshon dez. thats me. althooooo Cassel a bum i feel like dez goign to make something happen

  11. Barker says:
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    10 team qb flex league

    Drop hillman gore mathews or julius for cutler

    My qbs rivers newton
    My rbs d murray rawls blount hillman gore mathews
    My tes olsen julius

    Just picked up julius as olsen insurance

    Leaning towards dropping hillman because it looks like he just stinks
    And i want to keep mathews as murray insurance

    This is a move for this week and an eye toward week 14 when rivers faces KC again

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Barker: Mathews can be dumped whenever if youd like. nEWTON AND RIVERS are both nice options altho chargers were scaring me until this last week. id prob trust Cutty bang bang a bit more than Rivers which sounds insane . so im fine withthe move and just playing the matchups. hillman can be dropped also.

  12. Nick says:
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    Morning Tehol! So I snagged Jay Cutler for a week 13 streamer…& I have Mariota on bench. Other options on waivers was Fitzy, Alex Smith or Tannehill…did I make the right call on Cutler v. SF this week or should I look elsewhere as I need to win out the next 2 weeks to have a shot at playoffs….

    Also, what you thinking with Spencer Ware? I have him on my bench now & have DeSean Jax in flex until I hear more on C West…

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: why are you so low on FitzMagic against a brutal Giant secondary?? I’m actually considering switching Cutler with Fitz the free agent (not for long I’m sure someone will snag him if I don’t)…I just do not trust Cutler & he has been stinky fantasy wise of late..what are your thoughts?? Mariota on my bench too….

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: Good morrow my friend. Mariota has a nice matchup also tho…..im tempted but im fine wit Cutty bang. I love Ware and would start him over d jax possibly if West sits again. otherwise I love D jax

      • Nick says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Dropped Cutler for Fitzy..this could be really bad or really good as a Jet fan…

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Nick: think it will be just fine, playboy. FITZMAGIC

  13. david says:
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    Tehol!!! Hey, Diggs has cooled off thanks to his QB and AP…should I cut bait on him and pick up Inman? My starters are set…this would be a backup scenario only… Thanks! 12 tm PPR

    • david says:
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      @david: Or Devante Parker?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @david: Very interesting maneuver, my goodman!! I really like Diggs but im with Inman getting possibly more action down the stretch. ehhhh, if it were me I’d probably hold though if you’re already set or at least give it another week. I need to see one more week of Parker before making that decision. thanks for checking in, pimpjuice

  14. Qbert says:
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    Glorious T!
    Welcome back to highgarden! Couple questions for you today.
    1) I have both cam newton and Big Ben. Who to start? League gives bonuses for yardage volume so Ben has a lil more value…but worth the risk?
    2) Need a flex guy between Cobb, Jarvis, and Latavius…..currently going RB1: Doug Martin, RB2: David Johnson, WR1: Allen Robinson, WR2: Mike Evans….but on the fence on flex. Latavius has been that RB2 all year (waiting for touchdowns to come like the raven I sent to essos months ago)

    A victory this week means best record, first round bye and a lil bonus Christmas ca$h for Q.

    That’s all. Take Heed!

    Thank you!
    – Q

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Qbert: Q!!!! all glory be to the Elder Gods!!!

      1) Newton facing softest defense I’ve ever seen so he seems like safer option especially with Big Ben more banged up than Reek after he had his bits removed upbut you probably cant go wrong either way so if you have a gut preference ride that.

      The Raven to essos!!! YES!!!! It’s all coming back to me.
      2) if it were me id go Cobb as I feel he’s hella due. I love Latavius but yea the monster games haven’t been there. would be fine with him though. all those options are solid. if its me, im starting Cobb

      Thank you, ser

  15. thethrill says:
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    so I handcuffed like a good handcuffer should, but didn’t have room to handcuff ALL of my backs. so of course it’s forsett that goes down. I’m left with the ATL and MIA backfields (looked great about 3 weeks ago, now it looks like I don’t even have a single rb.)

    would you just roll whatever rb is getting the work in these backfields, or should I drop an extra D/st I’m carrying for the playoffs for a guy like boom herron?

    its come to this. boom herron. I think its all over. a prayer to the elder gods.

    • thethrill says:
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      @thethrill: I guess any backup rb will do. here is whats left on the wire.

      bilal powell
      Terrence west
      stepfan taylor
      j. grimes
      d. herron
      jerick McKinnon

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @thethrill: yea. no hhhha

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @thethrill: Oh man, i think you just go with whatever Falcons back is playing and have to risk Miller over Herron unlees ajayi takes over all the way which doesnt seem like is happening.

      ITS NEVER OVER. #ElderBlessed

  16. Dave says:
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    Hello TEHOL,

    Best waiver pickup in PPR out of all these available? Kendall Wright, Davante Parker, Baldwin?

    Also, do I roll with TyGAWD against a Texans D that’s been dominant or go with Hassleback in a good matchup?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dave: BALDWIN THE ELDER!!!!

      man im afraid to go with Tygod against Watt and company especially since they been on fire. Hasselsack is safer option….but i never count out Tygod

  17. Eric says:
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    Need a possible Gronk replacement. These guys are available:

    Miller, Celek, McDonald, Rudolph, Gillmore

    Who would you go with?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Eric: Miller if bennett sits out again. otherwise id go rudolph all day

  18. Re-Pete says:
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    I’m currently rostering Doug Martin, Mike Evans, Sammy Watkins, CJ Anderson, DeAngelo Williams, and Charcandrick West. Your flex rankings have them ranked in that order (West not ranked?), but several of them are fairly close. Notwithstanding your rankings, got any gut feelings about which two of these I should sit this weekend? Assume West is good to start. 0.5 PPR league.

    2nd Question: Fitz or Tyrod at QB? Your rankings have them right next to each other. Any gut feel?

    Looking for the highest ceiling, need a miracle to make playoffs.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Re-Pete: Petey P!!!! id prob sit Dangelo even tho some have him as their number one running back on the week. i dont trust that at all. If west plays, he may split with ware while recovering or maybe not since hes been so solid. a bit risky but id consider West over Ceeej. very tough calls tho.

      Id prob go Fitz. much better matchup and tyrod has to face Watt and Houston been great as of late. Tyrod more upside tho i believe still

      YOU CAN DO THIS!

  19. Butterfield says:
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    Need some help in a must-win game! Which three should I start? McCoy, Gurley, Lacy, and Rawls.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Butterfield: McCoy GUrley AND JINGLE RAWLS

  20. William says:
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    Tehol! I hope you had an alcohol and food laced coma this past Thanksgiving. Mind helping me figure out who to start this week? I am in a ten team standard league. Thank you for your help!

    QB-Rodgers
    RB1- Martin
    RB2- Gurley? Lacy?
    F- Buck Allen? Lacy?
    WR1- Fitzgerald? Aiken?
    WR2- D. Moncrief? John Brown?
    TE- Eifert or Chandler
    D-AZ? NYJ?
    K-Crosby? Tucker?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @William: PRINCE WILLIAMS!!!! I bow at your feet. Do I mind helping you out???? IM HERE TO SERVE/

      First off you have to go with the Arizona defense no question here. Im goin Eifert every week mayne. he’s too consistent. granted Chandler could have decent game but much more of a wild card. Play the hog. Fitz and John Brown if he plays. Hasselbeck doesnt seem to like Moncrief tho im worried about Brown still being banged up so watch that situation closely. Tucker. Always Tucker

      • William says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        I appreciate that Boss! Who should I go with at RB? I do not know if I should trust Lacy, Ingram or Lacy. I really like Martin and Allen’s match ups. Who should I start?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @William: sorry was working.u didn’t go lacy did u

          • William says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: Negative ghostrider

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @William: THank the Gods. i was concerned

  21. Peter W. says:
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    Which 3 running backs should I start this week out of the following?

    Matt Forte (SF)
    Chris Ivory (NYG)
    Buck Allen (MIA)
    David Johnson (STL)
    Spencer Ware (OAK)

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Peter W.: Johnson, Ivory, WARE if west DOESNT play. otherwise Forte

  22. Cafuné

    Maxi says:
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    I picked up Smith and am considering starting him this week over Brees. I’m tied for 2nd and going for a 1st round bye. thoughts? 14 team league, we start 1QB, 2 WR, 2RB, 1TE, 1FLEX

    WRs: Julio Jones, Diggs, VJax, Funchess
    RBs: Ivory, Woodhead, Stewart, Ware
    TE: Reed

    1PPR league, would you consider picking up Chandler for anybody on my team?

    gracias señor guapo!

    • Cafuné

      Maxi says:
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      @Maxi: Tyrod, Osweiler, Carr, Bridgewater, Cousins, Cassel are also available on waivers. thanks again!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Maxi: MAXI, MY FRIEND!!!! I would go Reed over Chandler. no need to drop anyone there. Smith over Brees is interesting since Carolina D is that realness. would be very hard for me to do but I would not be surprised if Smith posted better numbers. PERSONALLY, id prob still go Brees because I’m a shook one hahahah

  23. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    back now, we can get back to seeing if i can win this thing (i’m behind but don’t know how much)
    you don’t have to pick the Sun/Mon games yet of course, but i’ll be back to get them sunday morning if not.
    GB
    CHI
    CIN
    TEN
    BUF
    MIA
    CAR
    SEA (want to pick MIN here, but i know you won’t, and SEA probably wins)
    ARI
    TB
    NYJ
    DEN
    KC
    NE
    WAS
    waiting on Ben news for PIT game.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: I cant tell you how much I appreciate ur interest!!! Hmmmm lets see here.

      Lions
      Giants
      Cardinals
      Biccs
      Seahawks
      Texans
      Dolphins
      Bengals
      Jagz
      Bears
      Broncos
      Chiefs
      Panthers
      Eagles
      Steelers
      Redskins

  24. Wide Right says:
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    QB: Carr or A.Smith
    RB: Freeman and AP
    WR: Green and Robinson
    TE: Reed
    FLEX: LaFell or Watkins
    Are my starters on offense. Also on my bench Draughn, Hyde, plus 2 injured players I am going to drop.
    I am currently in 1st.. who should I pick up for the stretch run/playoffs? Diggs, McDonald, or McKinnon.(I wasn’t even thinking about him til now) Pick up just 1 of them? 2? or all 3?
    I currently have no backup for Reed.. if that matters at this point.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Wide Right:

      Smith
      Watkins
      Id grab Mckinnon for sure fuck it pick em all up . i wanna seee how vance does

  25. Eng says:
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    Start Joique Bell or Spencer Ware this week? Thanks!

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      @Eng: ranks either PPR or standard say ware by a bit.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Eng: I hope aware…. Was driving UGHHH I’m so sorry

  26. Steve says:
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    Who do you like as an RB2 and flex from Draughn, Yeldon, Woodhead, J. Matthews, D-Jax, Michael Floyd (standard)? I’m leaning Draughn and D-Jax or Matthews. Thanks man

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Steve: sorry bud didn’t get this memo. New post tomorrow

  27. tony says:
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    half ppr league, marvin jones or devante parker as a flex this week? thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @tony: didn’t see this sorry. New post tomorrow

  28. Bugeater says:
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    D/D……you are missed, my sarcastically insightful and humorous friend.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bugeater: uhhhhh I know. Been so busy and we lost writer for waiver wire and we need that so I was shifted there. I’ll try to make it more entertaining

Comments are closed.