Fantasy Football Advice

Predicting how long players will go in week 17 is starting to give me a twitch.  Listening to coaches and players talk about playing time is about as productive as watching Jersey Shore for moral guidance.

Here are some noteworthy happenings in the NFL:

Tom Brady: He says he will play the whole game, but Peyton Manning hinted at similar things last week and was yanked and not in the way he would prefer. The Vegas line still favors the Texans by 8 so I don’t think everybody is buying that they’ll play the whole game.  I believe they’ll play most of the game, but I just don’t feel 100% confident in that. If your backups are scrubtastic I’d go with Brady, Moss, and Welker without too many qualms.

DeAngelo Williams: He didn’t practice on Thursday and is looking less likely to go on Sunday.  The Daily Show should go prime time again, well, not prime time, but whatever you call Sunday afternoon time.

Brandon Marshall: All reports point to Marshall playing against the Chiefs, but you have to worry about the hammy acting up on him during the game. If he doesn’t practice today I would take some Xanax before starting him.

Hines Ward: He has a problem that can best be described by a Denny’s special called Moons Over My Hammy. Well, maybe not best described, but he has a hamstring problem and the Steelers are playing in Miami, so there’s that. I’m starting to feel better and better about throwing Mike Wallace out there.  I did notice that CBS took my 60 Minutes Mike Wallace comparison and ran with it.  I am the only one who ever noticed they had the same name!!!

Julius Jones: He didn’t practice once again on Thursday and there really is no need to throw him out there for the last game of the season. Right now it looks like Justin Forsett will get the start and should be a good flex play against the Titans and will be auditioning for 2010 and possibly Cats, meow.

Correll Buckhalter: He was injured early last week and left the game, but has practiced this week and gets a favorable matchup with the Chiefs who he and Knowshon Moreno ran over earlier in the season, oh and Jerome Harrison and some others as well.

Ricky Williams: He has been limited in practice and split work with Lex Hilliard. He will probably get the start against the Steelers, but Hilliard could see an increased role. This makes Ricky a bit risky and you don’t want any of that business.

Tony Gonzalez: He didn’t practice on Thursday and doesn’t look like he’ll go on Sunday. I like Matt Ryan this week, but without Gonzo you have to downgrade him a little.

Ahmad Bradshaw: He will sit out most of this week’s practice as usual and he gets a tough matchup with Minnesota, but he will also be the main back and worth a flex play.

Donald Brown: His heavy workload in relief of Joe Addai last week, coupled with his lack of yardage, should get him a goodly amount of carries so he can get back into a rhythm of sorts.  And as long as he gets starlight, sweet dreams and music, who could ask for anything more?

There are tons of playoff slots still up in the air so we should have a fun week 17 as fans and fake footballers.  Good luck this week!

1 pm Games

San Francisco @ St. Louis

Alex Smith is just too erratic to trust to lead your team to the promised land, even if you were only promised an empty lot under the train.  The matchup is good, but I’d feel better about using Vernon Davis and Michael Crabtree.

SF: Smith 0, Crabtree +1, Davis +2

Keith Null should get the start once again and once again throw for under 200 yards and a couple picks. The Rams are best served losing this game to keep their draft status and they probably will.  There is no reason to even think about starting anybody from the passing game.  So play the passing game, and pass.

STL: Null -2, WR’s -2

New England @ Houston

The Pats have a shot at the #3 seed so it seems like they should be motivated at least a little, but Vegas has them underdogs by 8 points and I always lean toward players in must win situations.  Are Brady, Moss and Welker for a half better than a lot of players? Yes, and that’s a decision you’ll have to make.  But remember the Colts (not the Titans).

NE: Brady -1, Moss -1, Welker 0

Matt Schaub and company have a glimmer of hope of making the playoffs so they will be going all out.  Schaub is high on my awesome list this week and of course Andre Johnson is high on my totally awesome list. They are must starts, but you knew that.  I’ll shut up now.

HOU: Schaub +2, Johnson +2

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay

Matt Ryan had a big game against a good Bisons’ pass defense last week and seems to be healthier even though he will be limited in practice. Tampa has a decent pass defense and a bad rush defense, but so did Buffalo and they still threw, so I’m looking for another decent game from Ryan. Gonzo is hurting and may not play so look for Roddy White to get a lot of work.

ATL: Ryan +1, White +2

Josh Freeman is still too inconsistent to use, even against a bad pass defense.  Antonio Bryant and Kellen Winslow are the only possibilities in the Bucs’ passing game and Winslow has been much more consistent. The Falcons are really hurting in the secondary and I think Bryant can have a decent game. He had 5 receptions last week, but just couldn’t get loose.  There’s a good chance he gets more yardage this week.

TB: Freeman -1, Bryant +1, Winslow +2

New Orleans @ Carolina

The Saints have clinched and even thought they are blowing some smoke about playing I doubt they last the whole game. I would worry about starting any of them, Lance Moore and Devery Henderson should see more work, but knowing how much work they’ll get is a crap shoot that I’m not willing to play.

NO: Brees -1, Colston, -1, Meachem -2, Moore 0, Henderson -1

Matt Moore has played very well as of late, and if Steve Smith hadn’t broken his arm I’d probably be ready to start him, but he did, and I’m not.  Muhsin Muhammad will see more work as the #1 receiver and is worth a WR #3.

CAR: Moore 0, Muhammad +1

Pittsburgh @ Miami

Big Ben should have his way with the Miami corners (no, they aren’t Vegas hotel workers, close though). Santonio Holmes is the clear number one and Hines Ward is still having hamstring issues.  I’d stay away if possible.  Mike Wallace is making the most out of limited targets, but with Hines Ward hobbled he could get even more targets and become a safer play.

PIT: Roethlisberger +2, Holmes +2, Wallace +1, Ward 0, Miller 0

Chad Henne has thrown for over 300 yards the last 2 weeks while throwing 2 touchdowns and 4 interceptions.  Not great, but if you get a bonus for 300 yards it’s probably pretty good.  There is a good chance Henne will have to throw a lot since Pittsburgh’s rush defense is tough and their pass defense isn’t.  With those two 300 yard games you would think a wide receiver would have had a great game, but in both games no Dolphins’ receiver topped 10 fantasy points.  And that was Ginn and Hartline! You can’t tell who it will be and even if you do, the rewards aren’t that great.

MIA: Henne +1, Bess 0, Camarillo 0, Ginn 0, Hartline 0

Jacksonville @ Cleveland

David Garrard has had a bit of a regression this year. His fumblitis has gotten acute and he can’t even keep his best receiver in targets and fantasy points. Cleveland isn’t very good, but you can’t start Garrard.  Mike Sims-Walker became an every week starter for a stretch there, but that stretch is gone. With the amount of receivers with questionable playing time out there MSW is probably startable this week.

JAC: Garrard 0, Sims-Walker +1

Derek Anderson isn’t a NFL quarterback, well, he is, he’s playing in a NFL game on Sunday, but he won’t be for long.  He does get a horrible Jags secondary and I could almost see him having some crazy lights out game, but not enough to recommend starting him to my worst enemy, which I don’t think I’ve had since grade school. The Jags are much better on run defense, but the Browns have gone run heavy in their 3 game winning streak (it’s true), so they might be matching up with the wrong dudes this week.

CLE: Anderson -1, Massaquoi 0, Stuckey , Moore 0

New York Giants @ Minnesota

If they haven’t completely folded, the Giants could do some damage against the Vikings pass defense.  Jay Cutler and company threw all over them and their best cornerback, Antoine Winfield, got burned for the game winning touch down and looked slow in doing so.  I could see gambling on Eli this week if you are down a QB due to them resting on their ass-laurels. And with no Jacobs and the more reception friendly Bradshaw in there, I expect a lot of ball chucking.

NYG: Manning +1, Smith +2, Nicks +1, Manningham +1, Boss +1

The Vikings need this game for a chance at a bye so will be going all out.  Favre plays better in the home dome and showed that he’s not done for the season with a good game in Chicago. The Giants pass defense continues to be horrid so there is no reason to downgrade any receivers.

MIN: Favre +1, Rice +2, Harvin +1, Berrian 0, Shiancoe 0

Indianapolis @ Buffalo

Curtis Painter = start Buffalo’s defense.

IND: -2’s all around!

Ryan Fitzpatrick has been practicing and could get the start which sadly is an upgrade over Brian Brohm. With the Colts scrubs scrubbing away I could see throwing TO in there for one last hurrah.

BUF: Fitzpatrick 0, Owens +1

Chicago @ Detroit

So where has this Jay Cutler been?  Waiting until there was absolutely no pressure left? I don’t know, but if you could count on that Cutler playing he sure has a nice matchup in the dome, but his wide receivers are dropping like a ball in Adrian Peterson’s hands. Devin Hester is still limited and Johnny Knox is done for the season.  This might not set up Cutler for a big game, but it does set up Devin Aromashodu and Greg Olsen for a lot of work.  How productive they will be is another question, but opportunity + matchup = football fantasia.

CHI: Cutler 0, Aromashodu +1, Olsen +1

Detroit continues their horribleness which starts at the quarterback position. Drew Stanton and Daunte Culpepper are dueling toward mediocrity and both are winning.  Calvin Johnson had a decent game last week and seems to be healed enough to be startable even with the horrid QB battle.

DET: Stanpepper -2, Johnson +1

4 pm Games

Washington @ San Diego

The Native Americans will be playing the Chargers’ B team, but sadly the Skins A team plays like a C team.  Has anyone seen B.A. Baracus? While the Patriots and Bengals who might sit starters are extreme underdogs in Vegas the Chargers scrubs are actually favored. That is saying something.  Santana Moss has been getting a lot of targets, but continues to be a dink and dunker, who I would only use in ppr. Fred Davis has a nice matchup here and should get back to his end zone ways.

WAS: Campbell 0, Moss 0, Fred Davis +1

Billy Volek is a possibility if you own Rivers and are hurting at QB.  He is capable and has some decent 2nd string WR’s to use.  I wouldn’t bet the farm or even the farm cat on him though.  Legedu Naanee and Kassim Osgood could see a lot of work.

SD: Volek 0, Naanee +1, Osgood 0

Tennessee @ Seattle

Seattle’s secondary is fantasticly poor.  This is set up to be a good game for Vince Young and it easily could be, but we are going to see a lot of running by the 2,000 yard man (no relation to Mel Brooks).  I think VY will have a good game, but it will be difficult to predict what receivers might benefit.  Kenny Britt has been backsliding as of late and it is hard to play him in your championship game.  I’m staying away from the Titans’ receivers.

TEN: Young +1, Britt 0, Washington 0, Gage 0

So Matt Hasselbeck has turned into a major waste of space on anyone’s fantasy roster. His schedule looked great, but he just couldn’t turn things around this year. The Seahawks are texting it in and I can’t recommend any of them.

SEA: Hasselbeck -2, Housh -1, Carlson -1

Baltimore @ Oakland

Baltimore is in a must win game and they are facing a team whose weakness (rush D) fits perfectly into their strength (rushing).  But we are here to look at Flacco and company. Oakland doesn’t have a great secondary and can be beat so you have to get Mason in there. Flacco might not see a ton of work, but he is a fairly safe bet to not destroy you in a firey blaze of fantasy ineptitude. Todd Heap has turned it on the last couple weeks, but it is hard for me to jump on the bandwagon, but since he is getting those red zone targets I’ll take a short ride.

BAL: Flacco +1, Mason +1, Heap 0ish

Charlie Frye and Zach Miller got all pass happy last week and Miller is the only possible fantasy start in the passing game (as usual). Frye seems to like Miller, probably because he catches the ball, so I see no reason not to start him.

OAK: Frye -2, Miller +1

Philadelphia @ Dallas

The Cowboys pass defense is decent, but the onslaught of passes that McNabb throws at the defense is impossible to withstand. The Eagles have too many weapons in Jackson, Maclin and Celek.  This game should be a shootout and both teams have playoff seeding implications which will make them play all out.

PHI: McNabb +2, Jackson +2, Maclin +1, Celek +2

Tony Romo didn’t have a huge fantasy game last week, but he also didn’t kill your team.  He has turned a corner and will put up good numbers on an Eagles secondary that, in the last 5 weeks, has been giving up an average of 22 fantasy points to QB’s.  Look for Jason Witten and Miles Austin to get most of those yards.  Roy Williams is awful, but he could grab a TD if it gets coated with super glue on the way to him.

DAL: Romo +2, Austin +2, Williams 0, Witten +2

Kansas City @ Denver

The Denver secondary doesn’t allow any single receiver to beat them and the Chiefs don’t have enough weapons to really hurt them through the air.  Dwayne Bowe is getting a ton of short targets, but has yet to get any real yardage.  In ppr leagues Bowe is a good start, but otherwise he’s risky.

KC: Cassel -2, Bowe 0

Brandon Marshall tweaked his hamstring in practice, but reports say he will play.  Keep an eye on this, because he is pretty much the whole passing offense.  The Chiefs pass defense has improved, but they haven’t been playing very good passing offenses.  If Marshall is healthy he is a top 5 start this week and makes Orton a borderline start.

DEN: Orton 0, Marshall +2, Gaffney 0, Sheffler -1

Green Bay @ Arizona

I don’t think Green Bay will play their starters much so I would stay away from the whole mess. I would recommend the Packers back ups, but Arizona could be playing to win this game.

GB: no thanks

Kurt Warner and company could use a rest so if Minnesota beats the Giants in the early game I don’t see them playing more than a quarter. But if the Giants win, the Cardinals would have a shot at the #2 seed and a whole other week off.  And if the Cardinals are playing to win, while the Packers are packing it in, they could move the ball easily.

ARI: (if Giants win) Warner +2, Fitzgerald +2, Boldin +2 (If Minny wins) Leinart 0, Breaston +1, Doucet +1

8 pm Game

Cincinnati @ NY Jets

If the Patriots beat the Texans then Cincinnati will most likely rest their players.  If the Patriots lose to the Texans the Bengals will most likely rest their players. Don’t risk it and thankfully it’s a craptastic matchup anyway.

CIN: No thanks

Mark Sanchez isn’t trusted by the coaches so I don’t really trust the passing game.  They will run the ball a lot.

NYJ: Sanchez -1, Cotchery -1, Edwards -1

Good morning Razzballers (or good whatever time of day you are reading this).  The fantasy season is winding down, but the NFL never sleeps!  Aren’t you looking forward to the Pro Bowl?!! Yeah, me neither.  They did change up things to possibly make it more interesting, but still, they don’t really play football.  It’s like having an All-Star Pro Boxing match.  I’m watching the NFL Combine this offseason and I think it will be more entertaining.

There is still some fantasy out there to be played. You can join the Razzball writers in our Sporting News Playoff league, password Schmohawk, and beat us down with your football smarts and what not.

Congratulations to Asdrubal Bastardo for winning our first annual guess Chris Johnson’s weight contest.  Wait, not weight, something else. Well, whatever it was he won an awe-inspiring Sonavabench! coffee mug from our Zazzle store.

In today’s chapter of Razzball we are looking at what teams have something to play for and what teams don’t.  You still may have a championship game or be playing in a salary cap league or are just interested in how hopeless your team’s chance of getting into the playoffs really is. So lets take a look, shall we?

New Orleans: With Minnesota losing Monday night the Saints’ wrapped up the #1 seed in the NFC, but Sean Payton says they will go “all out” because they just lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and they suck donkey testicles (his words, not mine!) How much do I trust him? I’m just not sure. I am sure they will evaluate injuries and err on the side of caution with players like Pierre Thomas.  We could see a lot of Lynell Hamilton. It is still early in the week and we may know more soon, but unless you have poor backups, I would be worried about playing time.

Indianapolis: Peyton will play long enough to get a new shot on Manning Face.com and continue his start streak, but not enough to help your team at all. But they do actually have to play, and you know the Bisons are run D deficient.  Donald Brown got a lot of work last week and could see enough this week to be a good start, but he could also be taken out at some point for the law offices of Simpson and Hart.  With Painter in, you should just give up on anybody in the passing game.

San Diego: They have nothing to play for except, well, nothing really.  Maybe some incentive laced contracts, so you know those players will be on the sidelines.  Thankfully Washington will be playing their B team as well.  Look for Darren Sproles to get a decent amount of work, but even he might get pulled at some point.  Billy Volek won some fantasy players their leagues a few years back, but I wouldn’t put much faith in him.  Sit your Charger starters.

Philadelphia: Thanks to Minnesota floundering, the Eagles only need to win to get the #2 seed and a bye.  This is good news for all Eagles owners, except owners of any Eagles’ running backs, because they are just too spread out right now to be of much service.

Minnesota: Thankfully the Eagles play a 4 pm game so the Vikings will have a #2 seed and bye to play for when they face the Giants at home.  If you saw the Giants get demolished by the Panthers you have to be licking your chops (not Jared Allen’s chops! You, sir, are disgusting) for this matchup. Start your Vikings with wild abandon!!

Green Bay: If Minnesota wins at 1pm the Packers will rest their starters no doubt.  If they don’t, there is a slim chance they won’t.  Hmm, sounds iffy to me and I wrote it.  The chances are Minnesota will win, but as you can see, they haven’t done that recently.  But I would still prepare for the Pack to pack it in.

Arizona: They play the Packers, but could have more riding on the game than them, but only if the Vikings lose.  If they lose then the Cardinals have a shot at getting the #2 seed and a bye.  They will almost certainly play all out for that chance, so if you have options that also go in the late games, then I think it is worth waiting.

New England: We’re getting some coachspeak from Belichick, weird, huh? On Tuesday he says, “Whoever plays, plays. Whoever doesn’t play, doesn’t play. It’s like that every week. We could go out there the first play of the game, something could happen. Someone else could be in there. Everybody needs to be ready to go all the time.” But when asked about resting starters he says, “That’s not really something we’ve done, and in all honesty I wouldn’t even anticipate doing it.” Wha? Huh? If they win they get the #3 seed.  If they lose and Cincy wins, they get the #4 seed, but the difference isn’t much. I want to say they’ll play most of the game, but I can’t tell you that for sure and I would be cautious.

Dallas: Dallas can be seeded as high as 2nd or as low as 6th depending on the outcome of all types of football games.  They need the Vikings to lose the early game to the Giants, then the Packers need to beat the Cardinals and of course the Cowboys need to beat the Eagles.  This would leave a lot up to the Vikings game, but even if the Vikings win the Cowboys could have a home game at stake depending on the Cardinals/Packers game which is going on at the same time.  So, with all that said, Dallas will play their starters. Feel all warm and fuzzy about starting them.

New York Jets: Rex Ryan was a little slim on knowledge a couple weeks ago when asked about the playoffs, but yes, they can get in with a win over Cincinnati. If they do get in, it could be the slipperiest, back door way, I’ve ever seen a team get into the playoffs.  First they get in on the back of Curtis Painter and then there is a chance the Bengals will also be resting players. The fantasy implications are mostly on the ground with Thomas Jones continuing to be startable in a must win game and possibly even Shonn Greene.  The Jets don’t trust Mark Sanchez with much right now, and I wouldn’t either.

Miami: Well, they need a whole lot of help and they are playing a Steelers team that also has an outside shot at the playoffs. For kicks lets look at who needs to lose for them to get in: Baltimore, Jacksonville, NY Jets, Houston, oh and Pittsburgh.  The chances are as slim as someone starting a sentence, “Rex Ryan was a little slim.” Well, the fantasy implications are tough against the Steelers, but if Ricky Williams is healthy he is worth a flex option and if he doesn’t go Lex Hilliard would be flexing as well.

Baltimore: All Baltimore needs to do is win in Oakland to clinch a spot. You wouldn’t think that would be too hard, but Cincinnati and Philadelphia had problems traveling west and Pittsburgh couldn’t even beat them in Catsup Stadium.  But Ray Rice owners still playing are happy that Ray Rice from Rutgers is still playing with motivation.  The Ravens have a ton of incentive against a Raiders team that doesn’t.  Start your Ravens!

Pittsburgh: They need to win and have Houston and the NY Jets lose or Houston and Baltimore lose, or the NY Jets, Baltimore, and Denver lose, for them to make the playoffs. We can’t be sure that New England and Cincinnati will play all their starters so that could be detrimental.  Either way, the Steelers players are all good starts against Miami.  The Dolphins looked bad against the Texans last week and Big Ben and company have been putting up good numbers.

Houston: The Texans need to win and have two of Baltimore, Denver and NY Jets lose. One of the many AFC teams that needs the Bengals to not rest their starters and beat the Jets, but at least if they beat the Patriots there is a slim chance the Bengals could play hard to get the third seed. Yes, my brain hurts as well. Houston will be at home instead of Foxboro so that makes a big difference. The Patriots don’t have as much to play for, but still enough to make the game competitive for a while, so get your Texans in there!

Jacksonville: Like Miami, they need the earth to fall out of orbit to get into the playoffs.  They need to win and have four out of these five teams to lose: Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Houston, Denver and the NY Jets. But they do get Cleveland and a glimmer of playoff hope.  MJD should turn things around this week.

Denver: They have 10 non-tie scenarios that I don’t really want to go into because there are better things to do in life.  They can actually lose, as long as “The Road” becomes ripped from the headlines, and still make the playoffs.  But the easiest way they can get in is to win and then have either the Jets or Ravens lose, plus one of the Jets, the Ravens, the Steelers, and Texans lose.  They, like many other teams, will be calling Marvin Lewis up and bribing him with leftover Christmas candy.  But no matter what, they will be playing to win.  Denver should have a goodly amount of startable players against the Chiefs.

If you see any factual errors be sure to point them out in the comments.  I am usually infallible, but you never know.

There won’t be any players this week suggested under the “grab in free agency” tag. If you’re going to make any acquisitions you may as well use a waiver claim; what’s the point in not using your claims and attempting to move up the ladder?

Worth a Waiver Claim

Arian Foster – Thanks for muttin’ Gary Kubiak. You bench the guy last week and decide to continue that disciplinary tract by making him the feature runner in week 16? I seriously need someone to explain his logic to me. Owning Texans running backs and trying to decide whether to play them is like being a victim in a Saw movie.

Jeremy Maclin – Guess the foot’s healed up. Maclin came back with 6 catches for 92 yards on Sunday. A lot of owners dropped him because of the injury. If he’s on waivers I’d claim him. In fact I did so last week, knowing I wouldn’t use him, just for the off chance I wanted to make him a Keeper for next season.

Devin Aromashodu – He simply can’t be ignored any more. It’s not just last night’s game, he’s been getting more and more targets over the past few weeks and has worked his way in to the starting lineup. Jay Cutler’s been looking for someone, anyone to step up at receiver. It looks like he’s found his guy. Even better, the Bears are at Detroit for week 17! Even if you don’t have a game this week I’d consider acquiring him as a possible Keeper.

Lex Hilliard – After Ricky left the game Lex ripped it up. Initial reports indicate that Williams will play week 17 but you have to wonder how likely that is given that the Dolphins have nothing to play for. If Williams doesn’t go Hilliard would be a solid start. He probably won’t have much value as a Keeper but in Dynasty leagues without heavy acquisition costs I’d consider stashing him.

Donald Brown – I wouldn’t be surprised if Joseph Addai sat out the entire game on Sunday. If the Colts are willing to

Jason Snelling – It will be a miracle if Michael Turner plays. There’s just no reason for the Falcons to put him out there when there’s nothing to play for. The Falcons play at Tampa Bay for week 17 so Snelling could be a really nice play for you. As a Keeper he’ll probably be completely worthless.

Samkon Gado/Kenneth Darby – Steven Jackson’s expected to play week 17. If he doesn’t, one of these two players could have some sort of value (a real ringing endorsement, I know). These two are probably the lowest on my list of dudes to grab for week 17 or as Keepers in general

You can follow me on twitter: Razzball_Drew

Week 16 had a lot of big scorers come from odd names: Brandon Jackson, Jabar Gaffney, Darren Sproles, and not Curtis Painter. Hopefully you sat your Colts except for Austin Collie and started only players who scored lots of points!

I know not everybody’s league is over, including the RCL leagues, so we’ll be going into as much detail about injuries and matchups for week 17 as we have for the whole season.

Our fantasy contest will be decided tonight and it looks like Guy and Asdrubal Bastardo will be vying for the prize. If Purple Jesus can score 23 or more points Mr. Bastardo can win at the wire.  Good luck to you both!

Here are my thoughts on Sunday’s games:

Jonathan Stewart and the Carolina Panthers punched the Giants in the mouth and then teabagged them after they were knocked out on the ground. If Stewart didn’t have D Willy to contend with he would be a top 10 back.  Williams and Stewart are only the sixth running back duo to go for a thousand yards a piece in the same year.  I’m guessing John Fox is kicking himself for sticking with Delhomme for so long, or at least he should be.

Peyton Manning: He kept his helmet on and sang “Put me in coach, I’m ready to play!” while Caldwell ignored him and put in Curtis Painter to prove that our old timey surnames should determine our careers.

Jerome Harrison: He carried the ball 39 times which set a Browns’ record and had a touchdown and 148 yards. He will have some competition from James Davis next year, but he is every down material.  We’ll have to see how things play out in Cleveland, but he will be high in a lot of rankings this off season. Including ours.

Brandon Jackson: Jebus! What happened up in Green Bay? The Seahawks are making a run for worst team in the NFL. As I was needing Aaron Rodgers to throw for a few touchdowns instead he was handing off to Grant and Jackson. Oh fantasy football Gods, why are you so fickle?

Brandon Jacobs: He has gone from a bull to a steer (they have their junk snipped).  Ahmad Bradshaw is the better of the two and should be the one you want next year.

Laurence Maroney: This is why you don’t own Patriot running backs.  Maroney fumbles on the goal line and he’s done. Sammy Morris became the fantasy back for the rest of the game.  Another situation to just stay away from unless Belichick takes a leave of absence.

Mike Sims-Walker: He was only targeted three times.  Hrm?  He wasn’t on the injury report and the Jags needed to throw, so it doesn’t make much sense.  Maybe today was just a bad day for hyphenated fantasy players.

Wes Welker: He was hurt early in the season and missed 2 games and has 122 receptions, breaking his franchise record.  I think that’s an average of 36.5 receptions a game.  You may want to check my math.  The guy is a ppr monster.

Cedric Benson: His injury slowed down a huge fantasy season, but he helped a lot of teams this year and his 140 yards against the Chiefs wasn’t too bade. He should be good to go once again next season.  Bernard Scott will push him, but he should keep the starting job.  All this next year talk is making me sad.

Jamaal Charles: He had a tough matchup against a good Bengals’ defense and still totaled 124 yards. We were confident he could do it against weaker teams, but this game makes it easier to see him as an every week starter next season.  As my mom used to say, “he’s a keeper!”  She always loved my brother more!  Next week he should run over Denver.

Steve Smith: Eli Manning was horrid just like the rest of his team, but Smith was one of the few bright spots for the Giants. He will be high on many waiver wire pickups of the year lists.

Arian Foster: One week too late! Foster had 97 yards and a touchdown the week after being benched in the first quarter after fumbling. I don’t want to get into how stupid Kubiak is.  When you argue with fools, well, you know.  The Texans running backs are a mess going into the off season.

Justin Forsett: Once again he looked better than Julius Jones.  It’s too late for him this year, but he should pass Jones as the #1 back next year.  Now, if  Matt Hasselbeck can suck less.

Matt Hasselbeck: Yes, he’s thrown 4 interceptions, but that was against the Packers in the frozen tundra and what not; cut him some slack!  Wait, what’s that? He also threw 4 last week at home? Against the Bucs!? Oh, what’s up with that?

Ryan Grant: I haven’t been a Ryan Grant believer this season, but he went and showed me! His 97 yards and 2 touchdowns could have been much better if Brandon Jackson hadn’t vultured 3 TD’s!  I’m never going to think he is an elite back, but he gets the job done.  I’ll still be wary of him next year, but you can call me an idiot if you want.

Robert Meachem: Another waiver wire success this year.  He got into the end zone once again. He gets a TD every 4.75 catches. How he gets three quarters of a catch is a mystery, but Meachem is a TD magician.

Roddy White: He came on strong for the fantasy championship game with 139 yards and 2 touchdowns.  The Falcons will be back next year and White and Ryan will be had at good value.

Cadillac Williams: He ran for 148 total yards against a pitiful Saints run defense.  He still can play, but there is no clear winner in the Bucs backfield.  Josh Freeman has a chance to be a decent QB and could help Ward or Williams to some decent numbers next year, but both are such injury risks it will be impossible to recommend either.

Thomas Jones: He continues to put up numbers even with Shonn Greene cutting into his carries. The Jets offensive line should get a lot of credit for how well the 31 year old Jones has played this year, but Jones continues to stay healthy.  Greene had a nice game as well and it will be interesting to see how long Jones holds him off.

Quinton Ganther: He’s not very good.  If he even makes a starting roster next year I would be surprised.

Pierre Thomas: It finally looked like he might have a decent game, well, for him, he did, but he was injured and didn’t play in the second half. Sean Payton, Bill Belichick and Gary Kubiak are fantasy RB coolers.