tim-tebow-12-29-12-1

We have a NFL 2015 Schedule folks! But before we jump on that and some other tidbits around the league, thus feeding on the table scraps the NFL has given to us (mmm, football scraps) this week, first we’ll have to talk about Tim Tebow. God… (LITERALLY.) So yeah, what a way to celebrate Hitler’s Birthday Stoner Christmas Holidays in Philadelphia. Let it be known, from on high, that Tim Tebow has signed with the Eagles, and what has been said shall be done, just in time for their offseason program, in His name, amen. I think that’s how the prayer goes. I was actually told that you could hear Skip Bayless orgasming from roughly 400-miles away when the news broke, but seeing as how I’m within that radius of Bristol, based on what I’m able to gather, I’m not quite if it wasn’t Peter King instead.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

b99328168z.1_20140811225006_000_g3j7dkkq.1-1

The easy thing here would be to a drop a Janis Joplin pun, but I’ll just allude to it and leave it there. Why? Because I’ve been through all of my Janis puns, and I’m pretty sure whatever you come up with will be better than what I have. So there we are… Jeff Janis may be unfamiliar to most in a America, except for those of you who reside in Wisconsin. All nine of you. Granted, his prospects as a productive receiver looked a bit better with Randall Cobb’s status up in the air, but as it stands now, the Packers depth chart at receiver stays essentially the same with Jordy Nelson, the aforementioned Cobb, and both Davante Adams and Jarrett Boykin coming in ahead of Janis. Lucky for him, overtaking Boykin on the depth chart is something my great grandmother could do, and she’s been dead for roughly three decades.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Theo-Riddick-Baltimore-Ravens-v-Detroit-Lions-j835Zf8eO_ml

I’ve been knocking around the idea in my head that Reggie Bush is worthy of being considered underrated going into the season, but then I get distracted. Usually from porn. And bacon. Ah yes, the story of a single man. Is this story so bad? Porn, bacon, a barren wasteland of loneliness and despair… I guess it’s not so bad. And then I think, wait, I was thinking about Reggie Bush. And then that thought process inevitably leads to what he left behind. (Again, that’s after all the bacon and despair.) And while I will probably talk about Bush at some point this offseason, I can’t help but thinking that Theo Riddick, who now holds the aforementioned Bush’s old role on the Lions, is, in fact, underrated going into the 2015 season. Also, I can’t believe I created a sentence that included the words “bacon” and “despair”. I must be hungry.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

spillerpointspats

One thing’s for sure, the hype train has always been strong with this one. And deservedly so. A perpetual description of “incredible athlete on the brink of breaking out” was a yearly norm for C.J. Spiller. So much so, he’s been heralded as such for the past 581 years. Alright, so maybe it’s just four years, but still, in the NFL, that’s an average career span right there. And after dealing with another season in which ineffectiveness and injury took precedent, well, finding himself on the Saints and in Sean Payton’s offense is sure to give people some selective amnesia. In fact, it’s already happening in New Orleans as we speak. Not that I don’t like Spiller as a buy-low, but I doubt we ever see that price tag. This offseason hype train is sure to choo-choo once again, and because of that, he’ll wind up being overrated and probably overdrafted for the 2015 fantasy football season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

13821525-standard

To be honest, I’m not quite sure who or what Josh Hill, and that might be true for a long while. Well, I mean, I know he’s human, and that he’s also an American Football player, those seem pretty safe bets. But beyond that, I have no idea what his stock will be come opening week. He could very well be overrated by that time, perhaps underrated depending on the draft or any other transactions that may develop, or he just might remain a sleeper. In fact, I omitted him from my 2015 Way-Too-Early Rankings for the very fact that I have no idea what to do. Much like in life. I can say there are some things in his favor (mainly Drew Brees) and there are some things that may not be in his favor. Let’s discuss!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I figure with the way the offseason has progressed thus far (Chip Kelly rebuilding the Eagles with all the available free agents, plus trading for 80% of all league personnel, including the trainers), well, let’s just say some things have changed. True, there are a lot of things that can change from this moment to when training camps start, but we are in the midst of Baseball starting, March Madness just fading out, and I think Basketball and Hockey are doing some interesting things (maybe?), so obviously Football is taking a backseat at the moment. Actually, if we’re going with this metephor, perhaps the trunk is more apt. Or maybe the couch. Regardless, as we all do in Fantasy Football, we must put numerical value on players and then yell spiteful yet clever things about each other’s mothers to argue why player “x” is better than player “y”. The truth is, your mother is better than all of them, and that’s the truth. I actually did attempt a Way-Too-Early Rankings back in Febuary, but as I admitted then, it was essentially an End-of-Year 2014 Rankings, seeing as we had just left that season and were struggling in a world without football. Well, as mentioned above, with all the deluge of transactions that took place the past month, I think it’s fair to say that the picture has gotten just a little bit clearer. Follow me after the jump to get a snapshot of where everything stands as of now…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

br1

As alluded to last week when talking about father-of-the-year Adrian Peterson, I mentioned a fondness of Teddy Bridgewater for the upcoming season. Part of the fondness could be the amount of puns that could be used in his name, but that feels more like a Chris Berman wet dream than anything entertaining beyond a dad joke, but in terms of fantasy football, there’s a lot to like here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the title denotes, it looks to be that all the big NFL news is over, for the most part until the draft. And now it’s time to clear out all the remaining news items no matter how small they might be. (That’s what I wish she said.) Wait, what? So all these little tidbits will be taken care of in a very diligent fashion! Maybe. And it has nothing to do with the fact that “tidbits” is such a great word. Now, there probably won’t be a lot of crossover fantasy appeal, but as we transition to talking about the draft and starting to spotlighting players for the upcoming season, well, you’ll forgive me if I fudge the line a little and talk about general football news. Mmm, tidbits and fudge. Regardless, let’s get to all the happenings before the 49ers and Browns decide to trade owners in an effort to cure depression in the form of a different but similar depression.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

adrian-peterson-nine-yards-short

While March Madness in full effect, the NFL has taken themselves off the center stage and the transaction pace set earlier in the month has fallen off the wayside, much like the 49ers franchise. But there are few tidbits that are Fantasy Football related, and the first one is: What exactly will happen with father-of-the-year Adrian Peterson? It’s no secret that he doesn’t want to be playing for the Vikings (dat victim card tho), and while the child abuse allegations are still very serious, it’s hard for the team not to dream of an emerging Teddy Bridgewater having Peterson in the backfield. Especially since another team trading for the embattled back would mean giving up multiple first round picks and absorbing a 60-million-dollar contact, well, it just seems more and more that this is just posturing by Adrian Peterson and his agent. Or whining. While it might be fun to think about him running behind the Cowboys line or being matched up with Tom Brady, or the ultimate karma and being traded to the Raiders, I find it hard to believe that he’ll be anywhere but Minnesota when the season starts. Which, in terms of fantasy football, isn’t the worst case. Not even close. I’ll be talking a lot about Bridgewater leading up to the start of the season, but I liked what I saw last year and think the Vikings could surprise a lot of people. Granted, we’re still early in the offseason, but even though he went from Purple Jesus to Purple Satan, it’s telling that he’s still Purple…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Indianapolis Colts v Arizona Cardinals

And by Black Hole, I mean “Heaven”, which is resoundingly considered as such in Oakland. It makes so much sense! After wondering a few days ago what actually happened to Trent Richardson, the Raiders wasted no time in trying to figure out if this once promising running back can actually produce something north of a 1-yard average run. Or be a better Maurice Jones-Drew. They signed him to a two-year incentive laden deal in what seems to be a natural match, and while I’m hesitant to think that this might change his future fantasy implications, I’d like to think that a change of scenery was needed here and that Richardson could end up being a productive back. Granted, production and Raiders aren’t exactly synonymous, but I want to give the benefit of the doubt here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Archives