Over the next two weeks of this rankings post, let’s celebrate and reflect on the biggest surprises and disappointments of the fantasy season so far. Since I am a “glass is half empty” kind of guy, we’ll start with the disappointments. By the way, I saw an article recently that said it might actually be better to be a “glass is half empty” person because you are more in tune with reality and more likely to seek a solution to whatever it is that you are being a “Debbie Downer” about. I’m going to reference that exact point next time someone says that I’m bringing the mood down, when in all actuality, I’m just trying to ruin their good time. Ask Zach, I do it to him all of the time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The Giants finally got off the schneid this past week when they upset the Denver Broncos. More importantly, they started giving the ball to Orleans Darkwa, something a certain Razzball writer has been asking for for what seems like two years now. Paul Perkins, your reign of terrible tip-toeing to the line of scrimmage is over!

Darkwa took 21 carries for 117 yards with a long of 47 yards and added a catch for 13 yards. OD seemed to always produce when given limited touches, and he did the unthinkable when given a full supply of touches: continued to produce! Who would have thought such a thing was possible! Oh, right, everyone who, like me, have been clamoring for Darkwa for two years.

After turning eight carries into 69 yards for a nice little average of 8.625 yards per carry, OD rushed for more than 5.5 yards per carry on nearly three times as many carries. The logical assumption would be the keep feeding him the ball. However, with this year’s New York Giants, who knows what to expect, but a few things are working in OD’s favor.

For starters, the Giants lost roughly 14 wide receivers to injuries over the last two weeks. And in better news for Darkwa, Ben McAdoo handed over play-calling duties to offensive coordinator Mike Sullivan. Now, I don’t know a ton about Sullivan, but he does have one very important quality: he isn’t Ben McAdoo. Oh, and he seemed to enjoy employing a more balanced offense that featured a running back who has been having success.

The Broncos had boasted one of the league’s better rushing defenses heading into last week’s game, but they barely slowed Darkwa down for most of the day. Granted, his yards per carry average is boosted by that one long run, but he was still hitting holes fast and running hard and should have earned himself a steady taste of touches at least in the short term. I have been stashing OD in a deep roster dynasty league for two years now, and it looks like I might finally get to play him. Hooray for me.

Now, to the charts!

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Are you sick of the bye weeks already? For player safety I advocate for two while as a fantasy player zero works. The early games on Sunday were, how do you say, not exciting…Red Zone couldn’t even make them all work as I paused the games around halftime, ran an errand, starting watching again and after a few minutes fast-forwarded (zoom-zoomed is the sound I make when I do it) through way more than I expected to.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ll warn you right now — there aren’t a lot of great QB fill in options this week. Lots of tough match-ups or under performing players. I had to recommend what remains of Teddy Bridgewater for Pete Carroll’s sake! You won’t see him listed in this article, but my prediction from last week of Colin Kaepernick getting a job still remains! Even if he’s now suing the exact people who could possibly offer him a job…

This week will see the Detroit Lions and Houston Texans getting the week off. You’ll need help replacing Matthew Stafford, Deshaun Watson, Lamar Miller, DeAndre Hopkins, Golden Tate and Ameer Abdullah.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, the NFL is cancelling the season after Monday Night Football in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right? His injury is clearly worse than 9-11, if you are to believe the outpouring of melancholy media ejaculate yesterday. Not that they don’t have a reason. Losing one of the NFL’s most marketable players for selling insurance not only leaves us just with Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt (who died last week) to hawk stupid sh*t, but also allows the Packers to show how terrible Brett Hundley is at quarterbacking. Football sure knows how to expand it’s market share! And I realize there’s already a lot of hype building for signing Colin Kaepernick, which if we’re writing seriously (rare, I know) makes some sense, but I feel like a sports organization has to do triage for these situations with a bit more vigor. So I’ve come up with a strategy, a “plan of attack” if you will, that I believe the Packers are considering right this very moment:

  • Plan A – Send feelers out about signing Colin Kaepernick to gauge the reactions from fans and media. Invest in the TIKI torch brand if signing takes place. If not, move to Plan “B”.
  • Plan B – Beg Tony Romo to leave the booth. If Romo says yes, move to “Plan XXIV” when he gets injured in his first game back. If Romo says no, move to “Plan XXIV”.
  • Plan XXIV – WHERE IS MATT FLYNN? If found, give him more free money. If not, give him more free money and move to the next plan.
  • Plan LOL – Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers receivers. If Miami says no, move to the last plan.
  • Plan OMFG – Tim Tebow time! Because at this point, why the ef not?

The NFC North is gonna otherwise be ceded to a team that got blown out by the Saints yesterday. But yeah, darn shame about Rodgers… now that I’ve confirmed the Chargers don’t play Green Bay later this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 6 is almost over and another big name has gone down. We’ll get to that shortly. I’m coming to you late on Sunday night and I’m probably going to win a match up because Evan Engram is outscoring C.J. Anderson on Sunday Night Football. This is just how unpredictable fantasy football has been this year. Let’s get to the games!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ezekiel Elliott owners are still shaking off their own CTE issues from this week’s shocking yet not so shocking (which makes this mildly shocking I guess?) news that the Fifth Circuit Court upheld Elliott’s six-game suspension. I hadn’t heard screams that loud and high-pitched since David Johnson was put on the IR. While Matt did a fantastic job covering the breaking Zeke news this week, I wanted to make sure and shed some light on who it actually is that’s playing with all of our collective livers…

The Fifth Circuit isn’t just a very conservative court — 10 of its 15 active judges are Republican appointees — it also includes some of the most unapologetic and ideological conservative judges in the country. Five Fifth Circuit judges joined an opinion saying that a man could be executed even though his lawyer slept through much of his trial. The court once sanctioned a high school cheerleader after she sued the school that told her to cheer for her alleged rapist. Its former chief judge was recently under investigation for allegedly claiming that African Americans and Hispanics are predisposed to violent crime. [Source.]

So yeah, this doesn’t really count as political content, simply because after reading that paragraph, I don’t really care that they’re conservatives in this context, only that they’re spiteful idiots. It’s like probably not even in the top-1000 decisions that this circuit has made out of Jerkdom. Which is either a kingdom full of jerks or beef jerky. IT CAN’T BE BOTH PEOPLE. Regardless, the NFLPA will ask for a full panel rehearing of the case through the court’s appeals process, which means Zeke plays for now. Next week?

Hold on, I think I hear some more screaming…

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 6 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

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Now that my little Fantasy Football science experiment is over I’m going to change things up a little bit. You wouldn’t believe all the hate mail I got in the past couple of weeks. It seems my ESPN accounts have been locked out and someone even toilet papered my front yard. Enough is enough. Going forward I’m just going to give you my top six picks for the week. The only rule for a pick is that a player cannot be considered a stud to be eligible. Recommending Antonio Brown helps no one.

Before we get started let’s quickly see how I did last week…

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Sometimes you’re the dog — sometimes you’re the hydrant. Ben Roethlisberger was one of my QB sit recommendations last week and this week he is my first QB start recommendation. Last week I recommended you start 49ers WR Marquise Goodwin and this week I want nothing to do with anyone on offense for San Francisco. What a difference a week makes!

I’ve got your cure for the bye week blues right here:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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