Now that Jay has paved the way on the offensive side of the ball, it’s time for me to pull my weight with the 2014 Razzball IDP Rankings. As always I’m starting up front with the big boys. For the second year in a row, J.J. Watt is the class of the position, but he has some company at the top this year. Robert Quinn and Chandler Jones are both coming off breakouts in 2013, and they should be able to challenge Watt for the DL crown if things break right.

After that, things get complicated. There are a number of big names who are looking for a bounce-back after a subpar 2013, in addition to a group of prospects who look primed for the big time. If you can’t land one of the top three, then it’s really a matter of preference. I tend to lean towards DEs who rack up a lot of tackles as opposed to DTs or big-play DEs, but there is no one way to handle your DL lineup slots. My ideal situation is grabbing a Tier 1 or 2 tackler and a Tier 3 sack threat as my starters, with a high-upside youngster to complement them. That strategy gave me Olivier Vernon on multiple rosters last year, and I think of guys like Damontre Moore and Star Lotuleli in that role this year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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460x

Pfft, what is that? Just a four-pack? I got a six-pack son, and mine are drinkable. ADVANTAGE ME.

There’s a whole lotta talking going on about Tre Mason and his eventual coup against Zac Stacy. While this tandem has held some of the pre-season fantasy football spotlight since the NFL draft, I think we should be more concerned about a coup in St. Louis. What are the global economic ramifications here from this shift in power? And will this historic event cause an intrinsic shift in the geopolitical system that St. Louis is not at all part of? What about the Ozarks in general? Are they no longer going to be highlands full of abandoned El Caminos? I have no idea, but I will say that Zac Stacy’s impending doom seems to be blown way out of proportion lately. But not by me. Totally not. I mean, there are an average of 258 coup’s a minute. (Note: I’m not good with numbers.)

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What this picture presupposes is, maybe it should be?

Welcome to the first installment of our Draft Strategy series. This journey will help prepare you for Draft day, and will likely also be filled with an assortment of snacks ranging from TWIX® candy bars and FUNYUNS®, basically what I like to call breakfast. And don’t tell me why they’re written all in caps. That’s their official “name”, so I can only assume that we are meant to shout it out every time, which, now that I think of it, seems totally natural. Q: “What are you hungry for?” A: “TWIX MOTHER F*CKER!” See what I mean? Regardless, this opening salvo of strategic knowledge (everything sounds better when weaponized) is focused for those of you who have no idea what fantasy football is or what it does. A Beginners Guide to Fantasy Football, if you will. And listen, don’t be afraid of being the noob, that’s not a derogatory title for me. It can be derogatory, but for those who do use it as a negative descriptor, just remember, they were noobs once too. We all have to start somewhere, and yes, that means you. Which is probably your mom’s basement. And if that’s the case, you’ve completed half the journey, some would say.

So, you want to play fantasy football? Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!

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I hath arrived, my children! Wait, where are the doves? I told you I wanted to come back to the releasing of doves like I was on a John Woo set, Jay, and all I see are bread crumbs and a bunch of pigeons. I get it, we’re a little more low budget here than the Razzball Baseball side of things but it’s bad enough you couldn’t take the brown M&M’s out of the bowl before taking them to my trailer. And speaking of trailer, where did this rust bucket come from? Like, did you buy this off some yokel from West Virginia? Smells like someone’s been cooking meth in here…but I guess I’m already on set so enough with the complaining. Though I DO expect at least a cheese plate at this point, thank you very much. Anyways, the last time I was around these parts, I was saying my sad and tearful goodbyes as the lead writer over here but did promise I’d be back in the Fall. Well, if you can have Christmas in July, why can’t you have Fall there too, right? And while we’re on the topic, this is a shout out to my family members that always ask why I’m not coming to see you in the dead of winter. Oh, I don’t know, because you live in a snowy part of Idaho and want me to drive 9 hours during the worst time of the year to travel to do it? I can say Merry Xmas over the phone. Heck, we could even Skype if you really wanna see my scruffy mug. Next year, we’re all having Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years over a vacation week in the middle of July. That way the only car wrecks will happen in the parking lot when Grandma tries to drive and get yet another 5th of Jack. Heart you, Grandma…but enough of this, you don’t even know what a Scott Fish Bowl is and we’re over 300 words in so lets get started. Here’s my Scott Fish Bowl team for the 2014 Fantasy Football season…

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For a sixth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing NFL-team blogs for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team for our Team Preview Series through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Dennis Esser from the leading New York Giants’ blog: Big Blue View.

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arizona-cardinals-12quot-plush-mascot

For a sixth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing NFL-team blogs for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team for our Team Preview Series through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Alex Mann from the leading Arizona Cardinals blog: Revenge of the Birds.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

levine_toilolo

Kinda looks like when I eat a baked potato. Needs more chives though.

Levine Toilolo, or, as I often call him, Tin Foil Tofu, which sounds half-edible, is a 6’8″, 260-pound tight end. Which makes me think that his thighs are bigger than my head. While normally that would be enough to convince me to keep track of him in fantasy football this year, I feel like there should be other reasons. Not just food and thigh related, ya know? So let’s go over some superfluous reasons of why he is a sleeper for the upcoming 2014 season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 RankingsTop-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR) | WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST |

Nick and Jay quickly go over some of Razzball’s Quarterback rankings…

Remember to visit Razzball Radio for all your Razzball media needs. And be sure to get your tickets for the Razzball 32 Fantasy Draft Parties in 32 NFL cities, all in the span of 32 days.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 RankingsTop-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QB | RB | RB (PPR) | WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST |

Nick and Jay quickly go over some of Razzball’s Wide Receiver rankings…

Remember to visit Razzball Radio for all your Razzball media needs. And be sure to get your tickets for the Razzball 32 Fantasy Draft Parties in 32 NFL cities, all in the span of 32 days.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rankings: Top-200 | Top-200 (PPR) | Top-200 (Half-PPR) | QBRB | RB (PPR)WR | WR (PPR) | TE | TE (PPR) | K | DST |

As stated in the Standard Top-200 Overall Rankings, this is not a mock draft, nor are theses rankings based on 2013 stats. This is a list of guys I like. Maybe I have a crush on them, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind going on a date with them. Because what’s this life for if people aren’t buying you dinner? Trust me, it’s worth nothing. And yes, there will be things you like about the things I like. There will be things you dislike about the things I like. And there will me saying ‘things’ too much. In retrospect, the word ‘like’ shows up a bit too much as well. And there will déjà vu from the Standard Top-200 lede, because of the modern wonder known as copy and paste, but hey, you can’t win them all. But you can win some. And you might lose some. No clue where I’m going at this point. ALL THE DIGRESSION. So yeah…

Note: These rankings are for PPR Leagues with 12 teams. Remember, this is not where I would draft these players necessarily, but where I think their end of season value will place them. And the tiers aren’t really tiers here. They also are not tears. C’mon buddy. They are just friendly bookmarks to represent the rounds in a draft. Thank me later. Actually, no, thank me now. NOW.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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