Let me begin by thanking all of you for reading this drivel I produce on a weekly basis. Hopefully you’ve found it helpful, informative, and most of all, put my suggestions here to good use.  Throughout the season so many handcuffs have found their way into starting roles and excelled. Some on a one week fill in, but others took the job and ran with it. We salute you graduated handcuffs. Thanks for making the draft meaningless. Just kidding, but seriously who would you rather have right now, Jimmy Graham or Justin Forsett? LeSean McCoy or Jeremy Hill? You don’t need to answer, the right choice is obvious. It just goes to show how increasingly viable the handcuff stash option is. The beginning of next year pundits, peers, and perts will be lined up by the dozen to tell you handcuffs are a waste of roster spot. To them I say this: if you make a costly investment in a running back, does it really hurt to buy an insurance policy? You would on a car, house, or collection of Star Wars commemorative plates. Right? What you don’t own any Star Wars commemorative plates? More of a Star Trek guy eh? What? You don’t own any commemorative plates! What do you eat your hot pockets on?

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I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

If you have been paying attention to me, you might be wondering what I am doing over here with the RCL update. Oh you haven’t noticed my absence? Yeah, you and everyone else. My mom even told me what a lovely post I did last week. She lied to me about reading what wasn’t even there. You see, I had no post… thanks a lot mom! At least you’re supportive… Actually, I was very under the weather, and with it being the final week of the year, I felt doing my flex play post was not where I needed to be. You guys have been bringing a lot of good questions this year and I appreciate all the love. Don’t worry, you can still ask me any questions you want…. football or otherwise.

This is it, this is the end. It’s time to separate the men from the boys, or is it the girls from the women? How about the kids from the oversized kids? Children from the adults? Those that like country music and those that like real music? Okay, I also give Johnny Cash and a few others a free pass, but this new country pop music reminds me of the first time I tried to jump my bike and smashed the family jewels on the crossbar. Now take that pain and replay it every five minutes and you have new “country”. Now that I have finished standing on my musical soapbox, I think I should get to what you are here for. The RCL Update and trophy(s) you can win.

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So, I’ll be honest… I’m not quite sure if what I saw last night was an okay game or a boring one. True, we are talking about a prime time game that featured a then 2-12 Titans team vs. their ultimate mirror universe nemesis, the also 2-12 Jaguars. Let’s just say if they figured out how to include both the Raiders and Buccaneers on the field at the same time (why isn’t this a thing?), I would have fainted. And while there was some subtle competency from Charile Whitehurst (perhaps trying to grab the attention of Washington) at the beginning of the game, driving 12 plays and 84 yards for a touchdown, the game kinda settled into a mix of “gee, this seems like a good time to try heroin” to “I was promised derp! Where is the derp?” So, in the end, there was a mildly entertaining game between two teams that kinda stink. Which, I guess seems fitting for the end of Thursday Night Football this year, in that, this was probably a top-5 game for them this season. Scary, I know. So… with a Jaguars win and a Titans loss, the resounding takeaway probably is: YOUR MOVE JETS.

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Beddict: Sons of Razzball, I am Tehol Beddict.

Razzball Reader: But Tehol Beddict is seven feet tall!

Beddict: Yes, I’ve heard. He has an ass like Hercules, kills men and women in fantasy football by the hundreds, and if he were here, he’d consume our opponents with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I AM TEHOL BEDDICT. And I see a whole army of my readers, here in defiance of coming out a loser this week. You have come to play with these Elder God blessed athletes, and ye are blessed in the same fashion. What will you do with your chosen soldiers? Will you fight?

VETERAN Razzballer: Fight? Against that? No, we will run, and we will start preparing for our fantasy baseball dynasty leagues.

Beddict: Aye, fight and you may lose in embarrassing fashion. Run and you’ll at least have made it the finals and kept some minimal amount self respect– at least for a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell your opponents that they may have boned your wife/husband before you married them, but they’ll never take your FANTASY TITLE?!

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take Heed!

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Good afternoon to my very few dedicated followers.  I regret to inform you that this will be my last streamer post of the year… I hope that I have steered you in the right direction, more often than not, during the course of the season.  This is not a time for sadness, but a time for rejoicing.  For the closing of the fantasy football season summons the beginning of the fantasy baseball season, in which Grey will entertain us with his daily quips.  It’s just around the corner, folks, and many sleepers have already been posted, so get yourself over to the baseball page immediately!  Also, thanks to all the commenters for your input this season.  It’s been fun.  Don’t hesitate to connect with me on Twitter either.  Anywho, we’re here for football, so luckily, that’s what I’m going to give you.   Championship Week streamers here we come:

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2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.0% (3rd out of 20 Experts, 58.4% Highest, 48.1% Lowest).

If you’re still reading these posts, you either made your Championship game, play in an ill-advised 17-week league, or spend far too much time thinking about the intricacies of IDP fantasy football. Regardless of your motivations, I congratulate you for making it this far. In a season that has been marked by untimely injuries to highly drafted stars as well as surprising breakouts from previous no-names, it’s been easy to ignore the absolute domination of J.J. Watt. From an IDP perspective, he was the first man off the board in most drafts, so me talking about him every week would be like Jay telling you to start Peyton Manning or Jamaal Charles. But let’s not ignore the fact that Watt has now reeled off a ridiculous three straight seasons as the #1 DL, and he’s put up top 10 overall IDP numbers in that time. Most DLs will have a breakout season, followed by opposing offenses adjusting, performances regressing, etc. If anything, Watt has gotten better.

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2014 In-Season Accuracy: 58.30% (26th out of 127 Experts, 60.70% Highest, 50.40% Lowest).

Week 15 Results: 64.10% (24th out of 128 Experts, 68.20% Highest, 53.50% Lowest).

Accuracy Rank Experts Highest Lowest Score +/- Rank +/-
Week 1 61.80% 22 134 66.10% 48.20%
Week 2 54.00% 35 135 61.30% 42.10% -7.80% -13
Week 3 57.40% 88 128 67.10% 44.30% 3.40% -53
Week 4 56.50% 48 128 61.10% 42.80% -0.90% 40
Week 5 56.50% 70 131 69.40% 47.00% 0.00% -22
Week 6 56.30% 27 133 63.10% 41.50% -0.20% 43
Week 7 59.70% 33 132 64.30% 46.50% 3.40% -6
Week 8 56.30% 67 130 64.80% 45.20% -3.40% -34
Week 9 60.30% 23 131 66.00% 46.10% 4.00% 44
Week 10 57.80% 68 130 66.90% 48.40% -2.50% -45
Week 11 52.10% 64 131 67.60% 42.60% -5.70% 4
Week 12 59.10% 29 129 66.20% 42.40% 7.00% 35
Week 13 58.40% 73 130 71.40% 48.40% -0.70% -44
Week 14 56.30% 59 131 63.70% 40.30% -2.10% 14
Week 15 64.10% 24 128 68.20% 53.50% 7.80% 35
Totals 58.30% 26 127 60.70% 50.40%

And now, your Week 16 Rankings…

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There would be no other proper way to begin this rant than by saying the four words that are screaming to be ejected from my mouth. Ef you Jay Cutler! What a bag of dog excrement. I don’t know him personally, and he might be a good dude to slam beers with (doubtful), but as far a quarterbacks are concerned, he can just go away. I’m sick of all the “Jay Cutler is a top quarterback” talk that I’ve heard for the past few seasons. He’s not.

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It seems like so long ago at this point but you remember when Joseph Randle made headlines? No, no silly, not for how he played on the field. It was his shopping for a five finger discount that rose an eyebrow or two. It’s one thing to steal when you’re poor or at least an intriguing item but…underwear and cologne? Do they correlate? Are you trying to tell us something, Randle? Did someone have an accident while at the mall and couldn’t think of a better way to cover it up other than a change and a spray? Did you even wipe? Oh well, bygones. Let’s look at why we’re actually here to talk about Randle. DeMarco Murray’s hand done broked and the likelihood of him starting this week is slim to NOOOOOOOPE. Sorry, had a Lana Kane moment. Again, it may be that by Thursday, we know Randle isn’t even starting but as of right now, I want all the Randle I can handle and at $3,000, I can handle a lot. Heading into Monday Night’s game, only the Saints have given up more fantasy points to opposing RBs over the last four weeks. Yes, that does still look back on the Pats game where Jonas Gray scored 4 but the opponents since haven’t exactly been rushing juggernauts. With how good the Dallas offensive line has been all year, it’s hard to imagine them deviating from what has gotten them to 10-4 just because their lead back is out. If Randle is starting, I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s a must play but 20+ touch opportunity at a minimum price doesn’t come along very often. Probably locked into most lineups both for cash and tourney, you are either playing with the crowd to exploit other prices or you fight against the current. I won’t hate you either way. Well, at least not about this topic. But enough talk, have at you. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 16 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

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If you’re reading this column, one of the following things must be true:

A. You have a team in the championship game and are looking for an extra edge.

B. You’re trying to figure out how to play the DeMarco Murray situation.

C. You really love fantasy football.

D. Any combination of the above.

With it being championship week, there aren’t a whole lot of updates that can be made or waiver wire pickups. You should be in a position where your team got through the semifinals okay and you should be able to set your lineup now for the final. Keep in mind we have a Thursday night clunker (TEN vs JAX) and games on Saturday this week too (WSH-PHI; SF-SD), and that will play a little role in how you set things up.

Let’s see what we can figure out for those little extra boosts…

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