Rest of Season Rankings have been updated, and can be found here.

2014 In-Season Accuracy: 57.90% (20th out of 129 Experts, 59.90% Highest, 49.00% Lowest).

Week 12 Results: 59.10% (29th out of 129 Experts, 66.20% Highest, 42.40% Lowest).

Accuracy Rank Experts Highest Lowest Score +/- Rank +/-
Week 1 61.80% 22 134 66.10% 48.20%
Week 2 54.00% 35 135 61.30% 42.10% -7.80% -13
Week 3 57.40% 88 128 67.10% 44.30% 3.40% -53
Week 4 56.50% 48 128 61.10% 42.80% -0.90% 40
Week 5 56.50% 70 131 69.40% 47.00% 0.00% -22
Week 6 56.30% 27 133 63.10% 41.50% -0.20% 43
Week 7 59.70% 33 132 64.30% 46.50% 3.40% -6
Week 8 56.30% 67 130 64.80% 45.20% -3.40% -34
Week 9 60.30% 23 131 66.00% 46.10% 4.00% 44
Week 10 57.80% 68 130 66.90% 48.40% -2.50% -45
Week 11 52.10% 64 131 67.60% 42.60% -5.70% 4
Week 12 59.10% 29 129 66.20% 42.40% 7.00% 35
Totals 57.90% 20 129 59.90% 49.00%

And now, your Week 13 Rankings…

Note: These STANDARD and PPR rankings are for this week’s slate of games only. These rankings are not cumulative, nor are they an indicator of any future value. They are based solely on this week’s projected performance in regards to fantasy football production.

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Happy busiest bar day of the year! Every year, your local bars will fill up the night before Thanksgiving with people coming home for the holidays or looking to get a jump start on their extended weekends. They may also be drowning the misery of the great family feast or the loneliness of having nowhere to go. It’s a time honored tradition of bar folk that is greater than the call of old St. Pat’s. Trust me on this one, I’ve spent too many years and have too many friends in the industry. But one thing is for sure, you can always bury your head in a glass of something to run away from whatever pains you. Let’s toast to that! Good, now that I got you all a little liquored up, let’s talk about fantasy football. *pours fresh glass of scotch* It’s a horrible horrible game that kills you a little more each and every week with the maddening calls you have to make as you not only try to figure out if “your guy” will perform but if his coach will give him enough snaps at being relevant. Okay, enough of this rambling. Let’s look at this week’s battle…

Note: All evaluations are based on 0.5 PPR, and ranks are from FantasyPros.com

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jab

I am the Great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole! And I could also use a few players to help me win my fantasy football playoffs. In 1993 Mike Judge gave the world the incredible gift that was Beavis and Butthead. Thank you Mike Judge. These two morons provided me with endless hours of entertainment and laughs. The adventures of these two legendary rock loving teenage delinquents originated from Frog Baseball, a short film by Judge which aired on Liquid Television in 1992. After seeing Frog Baseball, MTV contracted Judge to develop Beavis and Butthead. One of the best parts of the show was when these two idiots would sit on their couch watching music videos, offering their humorous and absurd commentary. As outrageous, lewd and immature as the show was, it was equally as funny. The dynamic couch sitting duo even reached the big screen with Beavis and Butthead Do America in 1996 and then made an encore appearance on MTV in 2011.

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If you don’t remember from last week, and since most people don’t remember what they had for breakfast I wouldn’t be surprised, we discussed that paying down at QB makes sense unless under extreme circumstances if you are using the rule of 5. If you don’t remember but wish you did, well, here. The concept revolves directly around how much can you reasonably expect from your QB vs a skill position. Now, Drew Brees scored over 32 this last week. At 8.2K, that was probably the best return you could’ve expected and was close to 4x value. But the second best? Eli Manning with over 27 at 5.8K. Sure, you lost 5 points but you gained 2.4K to spend on skill positions. Skill positions that could score you 39.4 points (Odell Beckham) or 36.7 (Demaryius Thomas). It’s that wiggle room you want to create from QB by playing matchups so you can pay up at the skill positions most weeks. Wanna know who gives me that wiggle this week? Alex Smith. Not that kind of wiggle. Gross. Don’t look at his season stats to weigh his $6,200 price tag. Instead, look back on weeks where KC had to throw to keep in the game. I can already tell you you’re not looking in the right place. That’s his 2014 game log. You’ll find nothing there. Go back nearly a full year to week 12 of 2013 and you’ll see a healthy line against the Broncos where he threw for 293 yards, 2 TDs and ran for 46 yards. Sure, doesn’t sound that exciting but it’s roughly 24 points and gives you the chance to pair with…oh, I’m getting ahead of myself so you’ll just have to read on. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 13 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

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It’s the week of Thanksgiving and hopefully your team is thankful for a shot to make the playoffs, if you haven’t already sewn a berth up already.

If you’re on the fringe of making the playoffs, this column should hopefully help you avoid turkeys on the waiver wire and help you find the players that are worth more than a parking spot at the mall on Black Friday. Speaking of Black Friday, can someone send that running back from New England a clock? He had an issue with his phone dying out on him and he wound up getting benched for it.

Running Backs are going to be all the rage this week, so we’ll start with them.

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Welcome back, my lovelies! I hope the fantasy Gods have been as good to you this week as they have been to me! Yours truly went a solid 6-0 this week, and it seems you are all finally seeing that I know what I am talking about, as I had to battle some of you on the waiver wires this week as well. Remember, Hell hath no fury…and to the person who beat me on waivers for Gray this week? Well, let’s just say I will be very BLOUNT about my thoughts on that. Remember all, I am a girl who gets what she wants, and when I don’t…well… Hopefully your hoopties (rosters that is) are still rollin’, tailpipe draggin, sure the heat don’t work and your girl keeps naggin’ but hey, its Fantasy Football and no one said it had to be perfect or pretty. Kind of like a toothy bj, it may be painful and not very enjoyable, but hopefully there is still some satisfaction at the end. So, speaking of satisfaction, let’s all lube up and get ready for a good time as I bust open Week 13’s Hit it or Quit it.

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Broncos, Broncos, Broncos (in my annoying Brady Bunch Marcia, Marcia, Marcia voice), once again top the fantasy football world. It has been 12 weeks of the NFL world revolving around Peyton Manning, and despite last week, the Broncos continue to score an absurd amount of points on the field and in the fantasy sector. The Dolphins did a decent job holding on, and I thought for a minute my home state’s team might take down America’s golden child.

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110612-New-Orleans-Saints-Sean-Payton-LA-PI_20121106182532275_660_320

So, what a wonderful evening of football we were treated to. Not only did we get our (delayed) fill of the “ridiculously unnecessary game of the week” (AKA Thursday Night Football, aka Monday Night Football, aka any game with Tampa Bay, aka any Jets game), we also got an interesting match-up between a hard-to-peg Ravens team going against the division (tied for first) leading Saints. Tied for first with now a 4-7 record. God bless you NFC South. Obviously, the Jets went and Jeetzzed all over themselves, despite coming off a bye and going against a team that a couldn’t even practice (which is pretty much the Jetsiest thing possible) the previous week due to inclement weather. But the Ravens and Saints game was interesting in the fact that I’m not sure if the Ravens are actually good… or are they are just doing well at the right times? No clue. And it’s really hard to figure out, especially when last night’s game pitted them against  a Saints team that has about as much of a defense as a certain St. Louis county Grand Jury… anyways, I’ll tell you one thing, I didn’t go, nor did I participate as much as I should, but I’ll certainly be demanding a refund on those free Jets-Bills tickets…

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Last night, Odell Beckham had 10 receptions for 146 yards and two touchdowns. Oh, yeah, he also did this…

obeck

That was the best one-hander since I lost my virginity.

I’d love to write more, but that would probably only take away from what you see before you. So when you’re finished watching this glorious depiction of a football player doing a legendary thing, join me below for the round-up. Don’t worry, it took me about two hours and an ophthalmologist to get me to move on…

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Russell_Wilson_Dangeruss_Seahawk_Sign--ZM--LIME

With the record amount of snow falling in and around the northern lake areas (also my nickname for your mom’s private parts), we’ve lost the Jets vs. Bills to Monday in Detroit. As if that was any safer. Despite having one less game on the slate (who wanted to watch that one anyways?), we have some key match-ups with playoff implications. In fact, the only game that has near zero affect on the playoff picture would probably be the Buccaneers vs. Bears, because they’re both terrible at football. Their team names also start with “B”, but the science to support that connection is suspect at best. The Lions vs. Patriots should be fascinating, if only to watch Bill Belichick troll fantasy football by giving all rushing touches to Brandon Bolden and newly (re)signed LeGarrette Blount. Another intriguing match-up should be the 9-1 (wut?) Cardinals vs. Seahawks, who were once thought to be strong repeat Super Bowl winners. But with an inconsistent season, a loss here and a 49ers win would almost assuredly complicate matters and allow a team led by Drew Stanton to have a real shot at home field throughout the playoffs. And this is why we drink folks. This is why we drink.

Week 12 Rankings have been updated for today’s games for all your roster needs. You can check them out here.

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